Dandruff

“What do you want for breakfast?” Juanita greeted the teenager as he entered the kitchen. It was bright and early on Wednesday morning, the meeting at Harrison Academy scant hours away. Jacob could’ve stayed in bed for a bit long, but he was on edge and failing to get any rest. So he decided he might as well get his day rolling.

He shrugged noncommittally as he took a seat at the kitchen table. “Whatever you feel like making’s fine.”

“Then how do you feel about making yourself some cereal?”

“Our relationship has obviously gotten too close,” Jacob deadpanned. Nonetheless, he rose to his feet and opened the cupboard, frowning at the boring selection of cereal. There was Special K and those nasty unfrosted cornflakes. “Where are the Fruit Loops?”

“Wow, you even eat gay food,” the maid muttered, pretending she didn’t see the annoyed glare the boy shot in her direction. “We don’t have any. I’ll be more than happy to pick some up for you the next time I go grocery shopping.”

“Please do.”
Damn it, he was seriously craving those Fruit Loops now. He supposed he could settle for the Special K, but those sugarless flakes could fuck themselves. Those things were an insult to cereal everywhere. He’d bet his right lung that they belonged to Phoenix; only he was capable of such depravity. Or maybe the Special K belonged to the lawyer; he was probably trying to get a svelte, hourglass figure. That mental image was both hilarious and disturbing. In the end, he found the Special K just as unappealing as the bland cornflakes.

“I think I’ll just have a cup of coffee,” he announced as he sat at the round table once more.

“Don’t you think you should eat something with that? There’s such a thing as a balanced meal, you know,” she quipped as she gathered the ingredients to feed the coffee maker. It was already brewing some for Phoenix anyway, so all she had to do was add a bit more.

Tapping his fingers impatiently against the table, Jacob’s sleep-deprived mind struggled to come up with a witty retort. No sooner than he was about to voice it, Mr. I’m-a-Douche-Bag sauntered in looking too fucking hot in a grey suit that made his intense eyes stand out even more, a few buttons open on the pale blue dress shirt beneath. Great, now Jacob’s train of thought was thrown off-kilter. He bet his retort would’ve been a zinger, too…

“Good morning, Juanita,” the man said coolly as he collected an apple from the fridge.

“Yes, ignore me, you rude asshole. I don’t mind,” Jacob rolled his eyes.

“Good morning, Mr. Scofield,” Juanita was also ignoring him. “What can I make you?”

“Don’t bother about that; I’ll buy something later on at the office. I’ve got to get in early today to meet with a client; got an important court case this afternoon.”

“No problem, sir. Your coffee’s ready.”

A disgruntled scowl worked its way onto Jacob’s face as the pair went about their daily routine, successfully leaving him out of the loop. How the hell did he end up being the third wheel to a grumpy, old maid and her equally grumpy employer?

“I don’t have time to drink it here. Pour it in my thermal mug for me. I’ll drink it on the way to the office. Shit, I forgot something upstairs. I’ll be back in a minute,” Phoenix briskly exited the room.

Green eyes watched with vague interest as the dark beverage was poured into the stainless steel mug. Juanita then went about pouring his share in a porcelain cup and placing it before him on the table. He reached out to take a sip of his coffee when something caught his attention. A bottle of hot sauce on the counter was calling his name and he couldn’t resist the naughty ideas forming in his head. Revenge was in order for the even more abrasive way Phoenix had been treating him even since Monday’s little run-in. Not that the consequences would be pleasant, but he was sure it would be worth the momentary gain. Pity he wouldn’t get to see it play out.

Juanita peered at him curiously as he retrieved the pepper. He uncapped the bottle and then lifted the lid off the mug. It was then that the woman saw where he was going with this.

“Don’t you even think about it, Jacob!” she intoned.

“But he’s being a dick to me!” he protested.

“Why don’t you try being the bigger man for once?”

Jacob appeared to be mockingly pensive before saying, “Just let me have this.”
Before she could reply, he tipped the bottle over and the spicy contents trickled into the coffee.

“Ay Dios mio!” Juanita mumbled, taking a seat at the kitchen table and massaging her temple. “I am too old for this shit.”

“Relax! He’s gonna know it’s me…” he held the bottle was held upright again, missing over half of the sauce that was in it just a few seconds ago. Carefully, he replaced the lid and put the hot sauce back. He gave the mug a gentle shake, and then went back to his seat. Not a second later, Phoenix returned with his briefcase. His shirt was now fully buttoned and he wore a tie, which made Jacob pout a little since he was enjoying the free show. Phoenix might have been a bastard, but he was a fucking hot bastard.

The barrister swiped his coffee and grunted a goodbye to Juanita as he left, but not before noticing the big, stupid grin on Jacob’s face. Great, he was probably up to something stupid. That kid was a real piece of work… Luckily for him, he would be at work all day and away from the little nuisance.

“You should call the suicide hotline sometime. It might do wonders for you,” Juanita deadpanned.

“Maybe he’ll see the hilarity of the situation,” Jacob shrugged flippantly as he sipped his own cup of Joe.

“I somehow doubt that.”

“Good morning!” Felicity chirped upon entering the kitchen. She’d called in late for work in order to take Jacob to his appointment. She’d pulled her hair back and dressed demurely in a pastel pink, knee-length dress. “You’re not seriously thinking about wearing that are you?” she raised at the boy’s attire.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” he frowned.

“A ‘Faster Pussycat’ T-shirt and those horrid old jeans are not going to make a good impression. Why don’t you wear that nice dress shirt we picked up? And maybe those snug dark jeans… and a decent pair of shoes.”

Jacob rolled his eyes. “I’ve got my own stylist now.”

“The best there is! Honestly, you’re fashion impaired.”

“What would you like for breakfast, Mrs. Scofield?” the maid interjected.

“I’ll just get myself a bowl of cereal,” the blonde smiled.

“Alright; I guess I’ll get to work on cleaning the bathrooms upstairs and straightening the beds,” and with that Juanita was gone.

Felicity got a bowl and the carton of milk from the fridge. Jacob watched intently as she opened the cupboard. Which would she choose; the Special K or the Old People Flakes? She chose the Special K. Damn! There went his amusing, weight-watching Phoenix image.

They engaged in light conversation as she ate. When she was done, she insisted on picking his outfit out because she didn’t trust him to do it. By 8:30, they were in the Mini Cooper and backing out of the driveway to get to their 9AM appointment at the academy.

The school turned out to be almost thirty-five minutes away, so it was probably a good thing they’d left so early. It was located in the posh part of town, near businesses, parks, and gated neighbourhoods. The large, old, brick building’s white gates were wide open, leading to a quadrangle. They followed a fairly broad road which brought them to a parking lot filled with more BMW’s than a dealership. There were a few students milling about, a few stopping to stare inquisitively as Jacob and Felicity made their way to the administration block. It felt like they were walking forever. They moved in the opposite direction of the quadrangle, bypassing an enormous playing field where a P.E class was going on. There were a few boys in the same rugby uniform he’d seen in Phoenix’s photos joshing around. One of the guys took that opportunity to peel his shirt off his well-defined, sweaty body. Fucking hell. Okay, maybe this school wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Felicity caught him staring and offered a knowing smirk.

Everything about the school screamed ‘old’, ‘stuffy’, ‘rich’, and ‘really old’. There were plaques all over the halls, framed pictures, some painted and others photographed of past principals, and even trophies in the occasional cupboard. There was even a suit of armour erected in front of the principal’s office. This was becoming an otherworldly experience. Jacob waited patiently as Felicity talked to the overly chipper, young secretary in front of the principal’s office. The secretary was quite interesting to watch with her extremely animated hand movements. The neat, bottle-blonde bob cut she had and her well-ironed blouse didn’t seem to suit her bubbly personality at all, but she probably couldn’t turn up for work in a place like this looking like a mess. She picked up the phone and made a short call. When the call ended, Felicity walked back over to Jacob, telling him that the principal was ready to see them.

The principal’s office was as finely decorated as the rest of the school; more plaques and awards, a black bookcase, a mahogany desk and a French window overlooking the playing field. In the traditional, burgundy, leather chair sat a robust woman with greying, black hair. Her breasts were, intimidating, to say the least. They were basically propped up on the table, staring you down. She was wearing a white skirt suit and her hair was in a rather extravagant bouffant.

“Felicity Palmer, is that you?” the woman placed a hand on her chest in a surprised fashion.

“Mrs. Maynard!” Felicity smiled as she sat in one of the available seats. “I had no idea you were the principal now! Oh, and it’s Felicity Scofield now.”

“Mr. Sutherland’s still in charge. He’s on sick leave; the poor man’s got heart problems dealing with these little brats...” and then she said, “Scofield? You married Phoenix?”

“Yeah, we’ve been married for two years.”

“My, how time flies! That boy always had a good head on his shoulders!”

Jacob cleared his throat none-too-quietly, not in the mood to take a trip down memory lane when he wanted to get out of this suffocating atmosphere. He was expecting a much less chatty kind of person; Mrs. Maynard looked strict and scary with her sturdy build. He was willing to bet that Sutherland bloke was the hard ass he was going to dislike, provided they accepted him.

“And who might you be?” Mrs. Maynard and her breasts gave him their full attention.

“That’s Jacob. Hopefully he’ll be attending school here,” Felicity spoke on his behalf.

“Ah, yes, the whole transfer issue.”

“Is it still considered a transfer if I got expelled from the last place?” Jacob enquired wryly.

“Expelled?” Mrs. Maynard frowned a bit. “Why were you expelled? Do you have his transcripts with you?”

“Uh, yeah, I do,” Felicity dug through her oversized Louis Vuitton handbag and produced a brown folder which contained copies of Jacob’s permanent record.

Mrs. Maynard proceeded to go through the thick stack of papers with a neutral expression. Jacob was beginning to feel nervous and claustrophobic. Why didn’t she just reject him and get it over with? His permanent record was shit. There was no way they’d want someone like him in an establishment like this.

“Not a bad academic performance, Mr. Reid,” she commented as she continued to peruse the files. “You’re doing a lot better than some of the students here… You’ve been suspended fifteen times?!”

“Over the span of a couple years…” Jacob replied lamely.

“It says here that you’ve physically assaulted a teacher with a text book…”

He shrugged. “He was being an asshole.”

“Jacob!” Felicity cried, burying her head in her hands. What was she going to do with that boy?!

Mrs. Maynard looked shocked for a second, but she quickly recovered. “Yes, well, if you plan to attend school here, I wouldn’t advise you to be carrying out vigilante justice on anyone, much less a member of staff.”

“I was fourteen. I had a bad temper.”

“What about this spotty attendance?”

“Mental health days.”

“…I see. And it says here you were expelled for repeated sexual exploits on school premises and smoking marijuana.”

“It actually says that? Awesome.”

“Felicity, how do you know this boy?” the older woman sighed.

“Phoenix and I took him in. His mother died and he had no one else.”

“You and Phoenix are both outstanding citizens, and I do trust your judgment, but I have to ask you if you really think this child is going to act any differently here?”

“Still in the room, you know…” Jacob murmured.

“We’ve talked about it and he says he wants to turn over a new leaf… All I ask is one chance. We think this school could turn him around. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll gladly remove him.”

“Alright, attendance permitted; he’s not the first delinquent to be transferred here, and definitely not the worse. But we always make decent people out of them; I will be fair and assume he’s not an exception…”

“Really?” Jacob and Felicity enquired dubiously.

Mrs. Maynard laughed. “Don’t make me regret this. Your guardians are good people, Jacob. And attending this school is very expensive. You’re probably never going to find people who are this interested in your wellbeing again. Do you understand me?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“You’d already been accepted by the board; Mr. Scofield faxed these documents on Tuesday morning. I hadn’t seen it before this meeting... You’re probably wondering why you had to come down here if you’d already been accepted, but I had to meet with you because as acting principal, my word is final. When I said you’re not the worst, I didn’t mean it to give you a sense of complacency, alright? Strive to be the best, because this record certainly leaves a lot to be desired.”

“I’ll try.”

“Don’t try, Mr. Reid. Do.”

“Okay…”

“Fantastic. Now we’ve got a little paperwork to go through.”

‘A little paperwork’ turned out to take half an hour to fill out. Jacob had never written his name so many times before. Afterwards he had to take a picture for the school’s ID card in the Computer Science lab wearing a borrowed uniform from the lost and found box which smelled like it had been taken off a corpse. All in all, his picture looked ridiculous. One eye was starting to squint because he was fighting off a sneeze caused by the dusty blazer, as if he didn’t look bizarre enough in a uniform. And the awful lighting in the lab made him look as pale as a ghost. And no, he did not usually look that way so don’t even go there. Friday would be his first day of school.

Disappointingly, the rugby boys were gone when they were going back to the car.

The next stop was a nearby clothing store which sold Harrison Academy uniforms. That took an hour because for some reason hardly anything was near his size. The sales assistant had to dig around the stock room to find something that fit comfortably; a decent-fitting shirt and blazer with pants that were a bit too long and loose. Felicity thought he looked ridiculous as usual; she had some unspoken vendetta against his style anyway.

“Why would you want pants that you step on? That’s a very good way to trip…” she’d commented.

Jacob’s in-depth response had been, “Bite me.”


Felicity dropped him off at the house’s gates before hightailing it to the hospital since she didn’t want to be much later than she already was. He was very disturbed to find Brett sitting on the living room couch when he got inside. The blond was watching TV, wearing ripped jeans and a graphic T-shirt. Jacob chose to act like he hadn’t seen him and began to ascend the stairs to put his uniforms in the closet when a strong hand grabbed his elbow.

“Isn’t your nose supposed to be broken?” the younger boy snapped, seeing that Brett didn’t look any different save for a bit of redness around his nose.

“The damage wasn’t that bad. It set back pretty easily,” the blond said evenly.

“If you don’t let me go, the damage might be irreparable this time.”

“We need to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you. You’re a jerk. Bye,” he tried to pry himself free of the other’s grip, but it made no difference.

“Will you just stop being so dramatic for a minute?”

“I’m not being dramatic. Fuck off, seriously.”

Brett let him go this time. The brunet rolled his eyes and continued climbing the steps, an exasperated sigh escaping when he heard footsteps behind him. He wanted to slam the door when he reached his bedroom, but Brett was quicker, pushing his way inside.

“Why are you being so fucking difficult?”

“Shouldn’t you be with Kyle right now?” Jacob spat acidly, throwing the bag of uniforms onto the bed.

“You ditched me to go fuck Liam. So what if I had fun with Kyle? It was just sex. It wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been drinking.”

“If I remember correctly, Kyle was all over you before I went with Liam. Don’t try to pin this on me. I’m over it. I’m over you.”

“You still want me,” Brett said confidently.

“Okay, whatever. Are you done yet?”

“So what lies did you feed Phoenix about me? The dude hates me, but he’s never tried to hit me before. He even turned Felicity against me. You’re a fucked up slut, you know that?”

“I didn’t talk to him about you. Ask him if you want to know so badly!” Jacob was losing his patience.

“What ever you told him, you need to take it back. This job was paying good money.”

“Only if it makes you leave.”

Brett frowned at him. “Are you really that mad at me over the Kyle thing? You know you mean more to me than he does. I haven’t even seen him since.”

“Why are you trying to play me? I’m sure you’ve got other people to fuck.”

“I’m not trying to play you! Do you really think I’d take all your crap right now if that’s all I was trying to do?”

“I don’t know; what else do you have to do all day? You’re unemployed.”

“What is gonna make things cool between us again? I apologised. What more do you want from me? I can’t go back in time and do things differently. If I would, I could. But I can’t.”

“So, was Kyle a good fuck?” Jacob sat on the bed and started to take his shoes and socks off.

“Are you serious with that?”

“Very.”

“…He topped me. I got really drunk, and he topped me. I don’t bottom. Are you happy now? Does my humiliation make things good again?”

Jacob was rolling around on the bed, howling with laughter. “He fucked you in the ass?! Oh my god. That’s hilarious!”

“Laugh it up, Chuckles.”

The raucous chortling ceased. Jacob saucily asked, “Is that why you’re here now? Do I make you feel like a man?”

“Fuck you! I didn’t tell you that for you to make me feel even worse.”

“You’re just mad because you liked it.”

“It hurt. My ass was sore for days.”

“Oh please. I know how good a cock feels inside you. There’s nothing better than that. Especially when you’re riding it so you can control how it hits that place inside you that makes you go wild…” the younger boy was sitting up now, a glazed over look in his eyes.

“Yeah?” Brett swallowed the lump that suddenly developed in his throat. “What else do you like?”

“What else do I like? Brett, are you getting off on this?”

“I’m just curious.”

“Well then… I like when a guy tortures me with it a little, pushes in and out ever so slowly, making me feel every inch and every vein as it throbs in me… Not too much of that, though. Then it just gets frustrating.”

“Fuck…” the blond breathed out, his erection clearly visible through his jeans.

“You are getting off on this, you liar. But it’s okay; I am, too...”

In less than a second Brett pulled his shirt over his head, hastily tossing the shirt to the ground. “Either this was where it was going, or I’m really embarrassed right now.”

A few moments passed as Jacob eyed the exposed, muscular torso in front of him. He cursed his libido as he slid off the bed and hooked a finger in one of Brett’s belt loops, using it as leverage to pull him closer. They stared into each other’s eyes as their lips brushed. Brett sucked greedily on Jacob’s bottom lip, his hands slipping down to roughly grab Jacob’s ass. He trailed his tongue over the full lips, nipping the top lip before plunging his tongue into the warm cavern. Jacob sucked on the slick muscle greedily as he wrapped his arms around the other male’s neck. Finally the kiss ended.

“Wow…” Jacob panted.

“Yeah…”

“That was…”

“Disappointing...”

“What?”

“I really feel nothing for you at all. In fact, I think you’re an even bigger jerk now. I’m gonna go get something to eat; I’m starving. Don’t let the door hit your sore ass on the way out,” the shorter boy smirked cruelly as he pushed past the stunned blond and sauntered down to the kitchen.

God, that felt so good. He was on cloud nine. The day suddenly got a little brighter. As he made himself a ham sandwich, he snickered when the front door slammed loudly.

Later that evening, Phoenix silently got his revenge by pouring the remainder of the hot sauce into Jacob’s soup. The teen had to suffer in silence since Felicity would probably flip out if she knew that he’d started this little war. His face was flushed and his nose was running profusely as he ate. He wanted to stab Phoenix in the forehead for that evil, self-satisfied grin on his face as he watched the boy sniffle and writhe in agony. Felicity thought he was coming down with a cold or something along those lines, so she sent him to rest with some multi-symptom Tylenol. He flushed the pills down the toilet and spent the better part of the night on the phone with Danica, talking about everything from Marcus, to Marcus’ Chihuahua; to the blade of grass that the Chihuahua belonging to Marcus threw up on. Seeing an obvious pattern yet?

Listening to someone in an overly loving relationship blab about rainbows and glow-in-the-dark condoms sucked, especially when your friend was dating MARCUS of all things. Apparently they’d shared their first kiss today under the bleachers. As someone who’d done a lot more vulgar things under those very bleachers, he believed his stomping ground was being defiled. And he told her so. And she told him that until he learned to accept Marcus, she wasn’t going to talk to him. Then she hung up. Bitch.

He spent the remainder of the night searching for the screaming skull wallet chain that he’d bought but never used to customise his school trousers with. That sounded so gay; dolling up his clothes before he went out. He still wasn’t thrilled with the idea of looking like everyone else, so he had to put his own spin on it somehow.

==

“Don’t fuck this up” was Phoenix’s way of saying “Have a nice day” as he dropped Jacob off at Harrison Academy on Friday. School had yet to start, and so there were a lot more students outside this time. A lot of people were watching him as he walked through the quadrangle to the main building, some leaning over to their friends and whispering. The length of the girls’ skirts was generally ridiculous. The pictures of Donna he’d seen were nothing in comparison to some of these girls. A lot of them were lost beneath layers of makeup and ounces of fake-tan lotion. If he was straight, this might’ve been a godsend. But as reality would have it, the guys, while generally good looking, were covered up and girls ran around basically naked. There must’ve been a Keep Boys Straight program active. He winced as the breeze revealed some girl’s thong while she was bending over to tie her shoes.

“Hey, you,” a voice called to him.

He turned to see a lanky girl in a black and white, striped beanie coming towards him. Her waist-length, bone-straight, dirty blonde hair danced on the wind. Her uniform was pretty long, ending just above her knees, and her blazer was noticeably oversized. What stood out most of all was her pair of beat-up, unlaced Converse.

“You’re the new kid people saw on Wednesday, right?”

He shrugged and kept walking. “How the fuck should I know?”

She walked briskly to catch up with him. “You don’t have to be such a cunt. I was making conversation.”

“It would be easier to talk to you if you had breasts to entertain me with.”

“You say that like you’re straight, fag.”

“Your dad’s tits are bigger.”

“You son of a bitch.”

“Don’t you have someone else to play with, daddy longlegs?”

“You know, I like you already. You passed the evaluation. The name’s Tori Layne,” she extended her arm for him to shake.

“Jacob…” he shook her hand. He liked her already, too.

“Why don’t you come meet my friends?”

“Sure.”

She led him out to the playing field he’d seen on Wednesday. There was a small group of people sitting beneath a large tree; two boys and a girl.

“Everyone, this is Jacob.”

“Hi, Jacob,” they droned unenthusiastically.

Tori pointed to a tanned, hot guy with hazel eyes and dark, slicked back hair. “This is Garry Cicione. His dad’s in the mafia. Don’t fuck with him.”

“My dad owns a restaurant. Ignore that whore; she’s deranged,” Garry said, narrowing his eyes at the wispy blonde.

“That’s Trent Jones,” she nodded to the freckled boy with wild ginger hair. “He’s a pothead.”

“At least he doesn’t snort coke like your groupie mother. Band manager, my ass!” the unidentified girl with the ash brown hair piped in.

“The bitch who just spoke is Claudia. I can’t remember her last name because she’s so unimportant. Trent fucks Claudia. She thinks she’s his girlfriend, but she’s an idiot so it’s expected.”

“Tori’s on her period,” Trent explained. “You can tell because she’s got a big zit on her forehead.”

“Whatever. So, Trent, you smoke weed?” Jacob sat next to the redhead.

“I never leave home without a bag, man.”

“We already used it, so you don’t have to be nice anymore,” Garry smirked.

“Aw fuck. I might as well stay here anyway,” Jacob yawned and stretched, resting his back against the tree.

Tori parked herself on his lap and pressed her lips against his. To say he was disturbed, surprised, and repulsed would’ve been the understatement of the year.

“Yup, my gaydar was right!” she declared, shifting to sit on the grass.

“You could’ve just asked. Besides, you’re an awful kisser and your bony ass cut off the circulation to my thighs.”

The others whooped and laughed at that while Tori shot him a glare.

“If I wasn’t already sure I was bisexual, you would’ve turned me into a lesbian,” she was playing with his hair anyway.

“Hey, everyone, look! It’s Tori’s crush!” Claudia giggled childishly.

Jacob followed their stares to a tall, pale, brooding boy with long, black hair. He had three earrings in each ear and two studs in his left eyebrow. He was sitting by himself on floor of the corridor, a book in his lap.

“That’s Russell. If anyone randomly blows this place up, it’d be him,” Trent informed Jacob. “He’s fucking creepy. Damn Goth kids…”

“You’re just jealous because you have freaky orange pubes,” Tori seethed.

“And you look like a coke whore,” Claudia defended her boyfriend again.

Soon everyone was verbally ripping each other to shreds except Jacob. He was too busy staring at that Russell bloke. He was actually sexy as hell in an odd, serial killer way. Then again, almost everyone was looking sexy to him. Stupid Phoenix hadn’t even touched him since Monday. He was sexually frustrated. Russell looked up and his piercing, pale blue eyes narrowed when they landed on Jacob. The moment was cut short when Tori threw her shoe at Claudia, her elbow hitting Jacob in the head.

This lot was weird as hell. They obviously hated each other, but they hated everyone else more, so they developed a weird bond. It was bizarre and a little unhealthy, but he could live with that. It was better than hanging out with those Barbie clones.

==

The Munez Feed:

What? I actually made my own deadline and updated on a Monday?!
Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You guys are amazing! I’ve got finals in May, but I will try my best to keep the updates constant between studying and rushing research papers. Just thought I should let you guys know in case things don’t go as planned and I suddenly become a bit inactive. Also, I loathe Twilight.

Munez