I Know He's a King

Rahel knew something was wrong with me. Perhaps it is innate with babies or perhaps I projected it onto him. Babies smile especially at pretty people. What looks awful and hideous scares them. Rahel never smiled at me, until one day he woke me up and had me nurse him. After his great big burp he looked up at me and smiled. I did not realise it at first, so I just started to coo with him. He smiled at all of my faces. The moment felt so precious that I did not bother to wonder why Rahel smiled at me.

That day went by in a glorious daze for me. The first smile of my baby had me doing all of my chores in a blissful unawareness of the world. For the first time since I slept with Vicdaen I was happy, I could enjoy my life as it was, I did not want to change it into something else. I had shied away from the world, but now I felt as a part of it, and I could not wait to go home to my mother and tell her about Rahel’s smile.

Of course, that had to come to an end. Bliss can not last forever. It did not even last the whole day. I was painfully made aware of the world when I heard a voice I had not heard for a very long time.

“It’s a beautiful boy you’ve got.” That ice cold voice had me shivering all over.

I had just been hanging newly washed clothes on the line as I heard her. The last time I heard her it was without a face, and I believed that this was the case now as well.

“You’re only in my head.”

“Think again, Amram. Turn around.”

“No.”

“You should… you’ll never get a new chance to look at your son again, this is the last time you’ll ever see him.”

I spun around and saw a small woman, burnt in the fashion I was, clench my baby in her arms. Her hair was pitch black – not the velvety kind you would expect of a Wiliji – and she was short as a dwarf, but still proportionate. She held Rahel very awkwardly in her arms, my babe was too big for her small arms and hands.

“Who are you?”

She laughed. “After being with you more than a year, you don’t know who I am! It’s very laughable.”

I shook my head sharply. “No it’s not. What do you mean? I’ve been alone all this time.”

“For someone with such great magic as you, you sure do know nothing about it.”

As soon as she mentioned it I could feel the magic flare up deep within me. “I know that I could kill you in this instant.”

“You’re so harsh, Amram. I am holding your baby, who knows what will happen if I drop him when you kill me”, she threatened.

“So, who are you? And how come you’ve been with me all this time?”

“Fire is my weakness. Still, I used it to my advantage… because then I could live off of you. And I could manipulate your magic when the moment arrived… but the moment never arrived.”

“You’re speaking nonsense.”

“Yes… I guess I do”, she said and quieted. Then darkness surrounded her. “I am Placident, dark and vile. I am the greatest magician of them all… I hold all magic in the world except one… that one which is yours… I possessed your skin… hence your burn marks that couldn’t disappear, because they were mine. If Vicdaen had just visited you more than that first time after the fire, I would have made you use your magic on him… giving me your magic and exterminating the last of the Fuor family… and I would have been complete.”

The darkness grew around her, making everything seem bigger and yet smaller than before. I almost started hyperventilating when the dark touched me, tangible like a cold wind.

“But you had to run away… If you’d just stayed in Fuoress, you’d have killed him…” and she smiled a wicked smile, a half smile just as mine.

I brought my hands up to my face, touching skin that now felt as alive and smooth as if I was fifteen again. I looked at my hands, they were hard and chubby, but there were no scars anymore.

“Ah, yes… now you’re whole again. Too bad there is no magic that works upon the soul, I’d have your body in an instant. And you who believed that Vicdaen was being superficial, when he trusted his instincts – oh yes, I could hear his thoughts screaming out loud: ‘Something’s not right, don’t look at her!’ Haha!” she laughed again. Then her wicked face was gone, replaced by a deadly serious one. “I was what was wrong. And now I will kill your son… and you’d better watch all the time, and then you’re up for a slow death.”

“No!” I screamed before she finished. I jumped at her, and she floated away, out of reach. “Give him back!”

I followed her like a cat stalks a bird. I jumped at her several times, but she spun out of reach every time. The world darkened to the same colour of her hair, leaving me, Rahel and Placident the only specks of colour. At another time I would have wondered where the rest of the world had gone, but there was Rahel. Nothing mattered save him.

“Let him go!” I fell to the nonexistent ground, exhausted and crying.

Placident floated down in front of me, stroking Rahel’s newly grown hair. She pinched his tiny ear and he squealed in protest.

“Quiet!” she ordered him.

“Please I beg you.” I humiliated myself by begging her, on my knees, grabbing the fold of her dress.

“Now there’s a good beggar. Look, boy. Your mother is dragging herself through the dirt, all for your sake.”

“Please, don’t”, I asked.

“You don’t have to worry about your son… I think that I will make him my own. How does that sound? But don’t think you’ll get away… No. You’re going to die, very soon.”

If she was going to take away my son what was there left to live for? I could not stop her… Not alone. And as I thought so I noticed something behind Placident. It was enough to take her attention off of me when she noticed where I looked.

I sprang up, and grabbed Rahel from her. Placident lost her balance and fell hard on her butt, and in the joy of having Rahel back I almost laughed at her with glee. She bounced back up, but not fast enough. A sword came swinging from behind, stabbing her in the back. Just as quickly as it came it disappeared, but the harm had been done.

“No”, was her final word before staggering back down to the ground, blood trailing down her chin.

As she drew her last breath the world shifted back to its original colours. I looked up and saw my saviour. It was… not the one I expected it to be.

“Thank you”, I said, a little out of breath. I sounded disappointed. “You saved my life.”

“Well, don’t shower me with compliments”, he said sarcastically. “You don’t sound much thankful.”

“I expected someone else.”

“Who?”

“It’s alright, Calem. Thank you, I’m grateful you saved me and my son.”

Calem kneeled beside Placident’s body. “Who’s this? She was a nasty little witch, I heard her talking about killing you, and you looked so worried and in such a position that she must have meant it.”

“You did right killing her. She’s Placident.”

Calem looked up, a bit startled. Then he smiled a wicked smile. “The witch that is wanted dead?”

“Yes.”

“There’s a hefty price on her head… Perhaps I shall bring her body to Fuoress. Yes… I believe I will.”

My brother Calem… all about the money.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Calem had just returned home from Veriton. He had resigned from the army, when he realised that his wages were paid in food. Otherwise he would have gladly stayed in the army, but he could not get enough of the money. So he rode home, and got the news that I was a mother and all alone in the woods.

I was still not so sure about if I could truly like Calem or not. I did not like his greed at all, and even less I liked his way of saying things out loud before thinking them. But he had saved my life after all. I felt indebted to him, but I never told him so. He never asked of any retribution, and that was another plus for him.

Calem did not know about my relationship with Vicdaen. It was quite a relief. I could not bear the thought of having my mother know about Vicdaen. So I asked no questions about Rahel’s father. Instead I helped him with Placident’s body, gave him the first hug I had ever given him, and wished him a good journey back to Veriton.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next day my mother came to see me and to make jam.

“Who’s Rahel’s father?” asked my mother and judging by her tone she would not leave until she knew.

“Why is it so important?” I asked, trying to delay my answer.

“Because I don’t see why Placident would come after you and your son. I know she wanted to kill Prince Vicdaen. Well, he’s king now.”

I sighed and shrugged. “Well… there’s your answer. She wanted to kill Vicdaen, and slay the rest of the Fuor bloodline.”

I gave her the chance to digest that for a while, and I could see her going over and over it in her mind. Then she smiled a greedy smile.

“Which means I’m grandmother to a royal baby.”

I sighed again. “Well, yes”, I agreed.

“Why don’t you go back to him? You don’t have any scars now, he’ll take you back.”

I felt like stomping my foot like a five year old. “Please mum, I don’t want to.”

“You don’t want to? You’re mother to his child!” She raised her voice significantly and Rahel started crying in her arms. She continued more softly. “You must have some love for him if you wanted to jump into his bed.”

“He was the one who pushed me away. I was supposed to marry him, but he didn’t even look at me. And I don’t care if he could feel something wrong with me… If you love someone, you love someone. You don’t care if they’re scarred or… possessed by someone else… But I guess if he could feel Placident inside me that must have been quite scaring.”

“And what do you believe?”

“I don’t know, mum. I don’t dare to believe anything, because I’ll be wrong.”

“But you must have some hope for him, or else you would have married when I told you to.”

I wanted to protest, but I guess she was right. Even I believed that a baby should be born into a whole family. “Yes, perhaps.”

“I thought so.”

And so we went back to making jam. And she left without a fuss, when I said I felt tired.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I had just changed Rahel’s diaper, and changed into my night gown when there was a knock on the door. My mother had come back for something she had forgotten, probably.

“What did you forget, mum?” I asked as I opened the door.

“That’s the second time you’ve called me mum.”

I felt so stupefied as I tried to comprehend those words and that voice that came with them. Then I let more light fall upon him by backing up a few steps. The candlelight fell upon the most beautiful man I knew.

“Vicdaen”, I said.

“Amram”, he said.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. “Come in.”

“Thank you.”

I let him in and closed the door behind him. As his gaze fell upon me I folded my arms over my breasts, remembering that I was only in my nightgown.

“I’ve seen you in less, Amram. Don’t…”

“Ah, yes, I remember that, thank you.”

He swallowed hard. Then he drew a deep breath, as if he was preparing himself for something hard. “Why are you living here, out in the woods? I met your mother on my way here. Your sisters were quite a handful, if I may add.”

Didn’t he know about Rahel? I thought. No, perhaps he didn’t.

“How did you find me?”

“You haven’t answered my question”, he said, pouting a little.

“I’ll come to that… Who told you where you could find me?”

“I… I didn’t exactly look for you, Amram. But your brother Calem came with Placident’s corpse. He told me about you.”

“What did he say?”

“He just said that you were fine. He said he had killed her back at his sister Amram’s place. When I asked about your scars, he seemed puzzled. So it was Placident all along?”

“Yes… But what if it hadn’t been Placident, what if they had been truly mine? Would you have come to me like this?”

“I don’t know! I wanted to see you, and when Calem told me about you, I didn’t care so much about how you were, only if I could find you. You didn’t have to leave.”

“You didn’t look at me. You came to see me once! And you didn’t look at me. You could have stopped me from leaving.”

“But I didn’t want you to feel that you had to be there. I wanted you to feel free to leave. I thought you didn’t love me.”

“But I do.”

“And I love you.”

The tension slipped away from both of us. I smiled – practically beamed – at him. Suddenly, even though my questions had not been fully answered or explained, I felt that whatever his reasons may be they were no longer of any importance. He said he loved me. And that was more important that anything else… Well, there was one thing.

I walked into his open arms and took a deep breath of relief.

“So you’ll come home with me?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you living in this place, anyway?”

“Well, Vicdaen… you see…”

“Yes, what?”

I looked up at him, trying to look a bit serious, but I felt my face giving away my happiness.

“Vicdaen, you have a son.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The end