Black Sheep

I'm both curious and scared out of my mind at the same time. I've seen pictures of Adam and Tom before but this is going to be the first time I actually get to meet them. They seem nice and Vic told me not to worry about it, that they would like me. But what if they don't? What if they don't like me? What if they hate me because of what I did last night? What if Vic only takes me because Adam insisted on it? What if Vic actually doesn't want me around anymore? He hasn't touched me all day, no hug, no kiss, no nothing. He asked me to join him on his weekend to Adam and Tom this morning and has barely talked to me ever since. I look at his face in the reflection of the bus window, his eyes sparkle of childish excitement and on his face features a soft smile. He seems less tense and a lot better than this morning, maybe this was a good idea after all. When I close my eyes I can still feel his fingers on my skin, his soft lips and his amazing smell. It's almost enough to make me forget about what happened afterward, almost.“We have to get off, come on.” Vic wakes me from my pondering and walks off the bus. We stand in front of a huge flat, I look up and whistle, next to me I hear Vic laugh “Yeah, their parents have money. Lets get inside.”
He rings the bell for the apartment and I hear an exited voice “Come in cuties, the door is open.” The door buzzes and Vic pushes it open, I walk after him into the building.


My jaw drops when Adam opens the door and pounces on Vic. He looks so different from the pictures I saw of him in Vics photo album. His long back hair is replaced by short toxic green hair, his face is smaller but his eyes sparkle like they do in those pictures, full of life and mischief. Vic relaxes in the hug and Adam looks at me over Vics shoulder, his eyes get even brighter and he breaks free of the hug. He bounces over to me and gives me a hug too, “Welcome sexy boy, no wonder Vic kept you to himself all this time.” I realize Adam is nowhere near as tall as me and a lot skinnier. He is dressed in black skinnyjeans with a toxic green top and a black fishnet shirt over it, he looks amazingly sexy. Adam lets go of me with a soft smile and then pulls both Vic and me into the apartment. The inside of the apartment is coloured in shades of blue and green and there are paintings and objects related to the sea everywhere, giving it a bit of a disorderly but calming feeling. We walk past a couple of doors in the hallway, bathroom, toilet and two bedrooms Adam explains, and in the living room I can see another guy lounging on the couch. He is tall, with broad shoulders and perfect abs that show because he is not wearing a shirt. He is sexy in a totally different way, his tall posture and his easygoing way of dressing make him someone that a lot of guy's probably wouldn't mind bottoming for, I know I wouldn't. He stands up from the couch with a feral like flexibility and walks over to us. He first hugs Vic and then hugs me.
“Wow Vic, never knew you fell for the pretty ones,” Tom grins and Adam scowls, “Kidding babe. You're way more cute!” Tom lets go of me and looks me up and down with appreciation “Though not that much.”
“Tom!” Vic screeches “That is not fair. He is mine.” Vic punches Tom's arm, laughing. Tom offers everybody a drink and we settle into the couches, an easygoing atmosphere is set immediately. After a while I notice the calculating look Vic is giving Adam from the corner of his eyes, the same look Jo was giving Vic when we went into town together, it gives me a funny feeling and makes me uneasy. Then I realize that it is also the same look I have been giving him these past couple of weeks and I remember about Adams attacks, ofcourse he would look like that, everybody would look like that if someone who they cared about was ill.


“I heard you met Jo? He told me to say he was sorry about last week.” Adam gives me a crooked smile, the one I have started to recognize as his apologetic smile, as he slides opposite me on the couch, Tom just left for bed and Vic left a while ago. I closely look at Adam, despite his vibrant looks I can see the exhaustion in his eyes and my heart aches as he closes his eyes and lets out a deep sigh.
“Yeah, no problem. He made a surprise visit to his boyfriend, which turns out is one of my classmates, quite a small world eh? I feel sorry for ruining his visit though, it was supposed to be happy, not like this.” I lean back, feeling at ease with just Adam around, I stretch my legs and put them on the couch next to him.
“He knew what he was getting himself into when he invited you guys to come along. They've known each other for quite some time and he knew Vic wasn't that well lately.” The sadness in Adams voice makes me reach out and pull him close. He holds his breath for a moment but then lets it out and relaxes against me, he is even skinnier than I expected and I feel bad for bringing this up.
“I'm so sorry I can't help him,” I gruffly whisper “I see it happening but I can't seem to do anything about it.” I feel my throat swell and I bite my lip, determined not to cry.
“Let's not talk about this now,” Adam whispers, putting his hand on mine and softly rubbing the top with his thumb.
“How do they know each other? Vic and Jo I mean,” I ask, desperate to change the subject.
“Well they met online after I broke up with Vic. They tried dating and... stuff. In the end it turns out they are great as friends but not as lovers,” Adam grins “Best thing was that, after they tried kissing each other at the movies, they actually both texted me how bad their date was going. That was when I put two and two together.” I feel his body shake as he giggles at the memories, giggles of a man who remembers the happy days. My heart aches as I realize that that was a happy time for them, before all of the pain, before all of the hurt.