What We Didn't Do

A/N: Here's the update my loverlies! Please review for me, you know how I appreciate it!


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Ultimately, I caved in.

I said yes.

Don't get me wrong, I was mentally kicking myself throughout the entire day trying to figure out how I'd been so stupid as to actually think I'd do some good for other people as well as myself but...I said yes.

And so, for three weeks I'd be working towards making a speech in front of a champagne drinking crowd about how shit it is to have HIV and how I miss my brother oh-so-terribly.

Wait, back up...I do miss my brother. Just I don't make a big thing about it. He's been gone for a lot of years and I've crossed a lot of bridges since then - although if you listen to Alex there are still some hurdles to climb. Well, anyway, I miss Philip.

Alex gave me the biggest smile when I told him what I'd done. Not to mention the squeals down the phone from Jeannie about the fact I'd actually accepted. She desperately wanted to come round and give me hugs and kisses followed by a batch of her famous Banana Cake. I laughed at her.

"Jeannie, you do know you're gunna be the one to shove me on that stage and convince me I'm not making one of the biggest mistakes of my life, right?"

"That's not the point! It's the fact you actaully spoke to Andy and agreed to do it! Oh My God!"

Safe to say I hung up on her. My eardrums were ringing with the noise.

Alex beat the potatoes to death in the pan before serving. I'd confessed my lack of cooking ability and he'd jumped at the chance to cook me one of his ma's specialties using my fully equipped (barely used) kitchen.

"She happy about it?" he asked, grinning.

"Just a little. Mmm, smells good."

"Hope it tastes ok."

"I have no doubt of that."

I'd started getting tender - handsy. I wandered into my kitchenette and wrapped my arms around his waist kissing the back of his neck. He giggled under me.

"Thank me for the meal after you've eaten it."

"'Kay."

He plated up his meatballs and mash and we sat on the sofa watching Casablanca. I love that film.

"Rafe?" Alex glanced across at me suddenly blushing.

"Yeah?"

"I kind of have a confession to make."

"You're not really gay?"

"Huh?"

I smiled and shrugged, "If it's not that then don't worry about it. Finish eating first."

"I'm gunna be away for a week."

It was my turn to be confused,"Huh?"

"I'm sorry. Next week, there's an exhibition in Florida and a few of us from the museum have to go. I kind of signed myself up a while ago and got reminded today. It's next week."

"Oh."

"I can help you with your speech when you get back! I promise." He took my hand in his and looked directly into my eyes. "It's just a week."

"It's ok. You gotta go, you gotta go. My thing isn't important anyway."

"Of course it is! It's ok Rafe, I'll be back and helping you type the thing up before you know it!"

I had to laugh at his sweet enthusiasm. I, myself, had absolutely none, so I had to feed off of his. I believed the words he said, I knew he'd be back and write the whole thing for me.

"Eat your meatballs - before I do."

He grinned and sat back.

I'd miss him, I knew I would, but he'd be back and it was ok.

Just one week.

**

Jeannie came with us to the airport. It seemed the two of them were getting on pretty well. I was glad - not because I thought anything negative was going to happen but still...it was nice.

What wasn't nice was the thought of being alone in bed for a week. After the previous few days I was starting to get used to having someone around. It was nice to not stare at the mirror alone, hating yourself as you swallowed pills. I had someone next to me, taking the damned things too. I wasn't the only idiot in the universe.

The woman was worse than me about him leaving.

"You got everything yeah?"

"Yeah."

"All your pills, and extra just in case?"

"Yeah, Jeannie."

"And you got - "

"God, Jeannie, leave the man alone!" I sighed heavily.

"Ok, ok! Just checking."

She gave us some space as we walked to the gate.

"Well, first time apart," he said, smiling. "Think you can cope?"

"Ha! I'll do just fine without you," I teased before placing a quick kiss on his lips. "You take it easy ok?"

"And you. Don't tear your hair out about the speech. We can handle it when I get back."

"Ok."

We kissed again and he walked away, luggage in his hand. I watched him leave and sighed heavily. I really was starting to like the guy - a lot.

"C'mon, boy. Let's get you home."

Jeannie took my arm and we walked away, faint smiles on our lips.

**

Two days later and I was bored out of my skull.

I had plenty of work to do and spoke with a number of my authors to work kinks out, but I was still bored. Jeannie visited me and I was even graced with the presence of my brother on one occasion. I nearly fell off the kitchen counter.

But, just as I thought the tedium was going to kill me the doorbell rang.

I stood up. The phone rang. Typical.

I left the phone and opened the door to find Jeannie stood before me, her face pale.

"Jean, be right with you just - "

"Rafe, please - "

"Gotta answer the -"

"Rafe, listen to me."

"Phone, babe. Gotta answer - "

"Corey's dead."

My ears filled with blood and my heart stopped working all at the same time.

She allowed tears to slip down her face.

"You're lying."

"I wish I was," she whispered, stepping into the room.

The world starting falling around me, a weight of a thousand emotions pushed down on my brain. "No, no, no, no, no - "

"He's dead Rafe."

"No. He's not - no."

"Rafe, please. Corey's dead."

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