Demon Beside Me

Chapter 10

Greed mixed with pride can be something else

I just knew my cheeks where red with angrier even as my mom called my name. I just kept walking to Amanda room not wanting to talk about it.

“Young lady you better not go into Amanda room.” She soon said her tone turning dark. She was mad now, but I didn’t care.

“What is it MOM?”

“Minnie, if you don’t want to talk to Bill then don’t talk to him. But you will at least listen to what I have to say.”

I turned to face her and looked into her green eyes wondering why I had never really noticed that they weren’t really that dark green all the time. No looking into them now they looked lighter for some reason.

“I know Henry is your father.” She began and I wanted nothing more than to yell. That had been why her eyes had gotten lighter. She was going to say something about Henry. She loved him so much. I never even seen her speak of my father the way she spoke of Henry. “Your brother didn’t want to have his number or anything. He doesn’t want to hear from him anymore, but you Minnie-Minnie I know you want to talk to him.”

Her eyes left mine. She looked down on her feet. “Sweetie it’s ok to love him and love Henry to.”

She hugged me then and I wanted to hit her to scream at her. She will never understand me nor will she ever try to. My mom always lived in her own little dream world.

No wonder I was so messed up!

“Mom I’m not hungry anymore.” I told her and smiled when she just shook her head at me.

“Here’s his number dear.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out her a piece of paper with his number. She handed it to me and my eyes looked at it not knowing what to really think at the moment. “You can call him if you want to. I won’t push you. I told him that. Honestly I don’t even know how he got our number.”

A piece of white paper with a number was all I now have of a man I don’t really even know. I would never admit it to my mom that I didn’t even really remember much of what he looked like. I could remember only thick blond hair and big blue eyes.

Mom had once said when I was little that Allen looked just like him and asked if I agreed. I told her yes, but I didn’t tell her I could not debate her because I didn’t remember him, for some reason at the time I felt that would break her heart.

“His family doesn’t even acknowledge you and you brother. Henry family treat you way better than his, his parents even call you there grandchildren.” She continued as I zoned in and out of her voice.

I stared out in space, not thinking of anything at all.

“Mom.” I finally said after a few minutes being in a dazed. “I just want to go to bed. I’ve had enough of bad things happening to me, for a lifetime.”

She shook her head and let me pass her to walk back to my room.

When I got in I closed the door and leaned against the door slowly falling to the ground. I pulled my knees up to me and made sure they were close enough that my head was able to lay on them.

I don’t know how long I sat like that with my head on my knees and my eyes closed, but it must have been for at least a few hours for it is his voice that I keep hearing.

“Diamond.” He called.

I looked up and saw Krad through watery eyes. Had I been crying?

“What time is it?” I asked not really expecting an answer for I didn’t care what time it was I just needed to hear my voice.

I think he knew that to for he didn’t answer me. Krad just kept looking at me through those beautiful eyes of his.

“Diamond, dear everything will be fine.” He said as he came down to eye level with me. “He’s a bastard.”

“I don’t know what to do.” I told him not really caring how he found out about my father. “I don’t know why he is even calling me after all of this time.”

“Guilt maybe.” He grinned at me then pulled me close to him. “Guilt can be very powerful when used right dear or maybe he has something to tell you that may hurt you. He is a bastard after all.”

“Krad.” I softly said not wanting to think about the worst. I look at him not noticing he had set down right by me. “Do you think I should call him?”

My head led on his beautiful chest and I loved how his chest felt. He put his arms around me this made me smile at him. I loved that he was here for me. I felt so safe with him here, his arms around me.

“Diamond it’s your choice.” He cooed to me and I pulled back a little to look him into his eyes. “I think you should do what you feel is right.” He soon added. “But don’t forget about your greed.”

I laughed lightly glad he had made me laughed. He was so great and so wonderful. I soon sighed when my mind went back to my father.

“But what if I don’t know what’s right.” I stated staring into his eyes looking for the answer.

“Love you know what’s right.” He said lightly kissing my lips.

“I should call him and see what he wants.” I said when he pulled his lips from mine. I missed them already. “Should I call him right now?”

“It’s late and you should call when you are in a better mood.” He put a shy smile on his face. I laughed knowing I had never seen that smile on him before. He then rubbed his nose on mine and I was so happy at this moment.

“Krad you can be silly when you want to be.” I told him and smiled laughing at the face he was now making.

“I only get silly with you.” When he said those words I for some reason heard more to them, like there was more to the surface of them but I wasn’t sure what.

“You know when I was little I never thought he would ever love me.” I told him softly, not understanding why I was telling him these things. “I know there are a lot of people that don’t have both parents and all, but it just seems unfair to me that people do this to their own flesh and blood.”

He was quite no saying a word. I felt him pull me closer as if trying to comfort me.

“I wish I could make him know what I feel you know. He had both of his parents and so did my mom, and I feel like she won’t understand and that she lives in this little fantasy world where she thinks everything is ok. She thinks just because she married Henry that I think he is my father that Amanda will never know that he’s not my father and such….I kind of hate her for it.”

“Understandable.” He said then pauses as he looked down into my eyes. He must have say how I wanted him to continue so that I wouldn’t feel so bad at admitting I hated how my mom could act at times. “You don’t like how your mother wants to pretend she has the ‘perfect’ family and never had anything to do with your father because it makes you feel that she doesn’t really love you how she loves your little sister Amanda.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but then closed it for I knew he was right.

How did he know me so well? To everyone else I was a complete mystery, but to him it was like I was an open book and I had to say I loved it. He was able to read me the way no one else could and talk to me the way no one else wanted to.

He could see behind my eyes and see that I wanted someone to finally see me and I was happy it was him that finally saw me.

It was so nice to finally be able to talk to someone and not have to be fake, but be the real me. I didn’t have to wonder if he was just using me to get to someone else, like in school or if he wanted to know this information just so he could one day use it against me.

I was happy that I could tell him anything and he wouldn’t get mad or say I was wrong for thinking and saying it. I loved him, I realized at that moment rather I wanted to or not. I loved him for all the things I never had and he was giving me.

He is someone who cared about me, someone who would truly listen to me, someone who was there for me, and someone who wanted me.

I loved him and now I had to deal with the fact that he may just like me and not love me. I stared at him as he stared back at me.

“Thank you.” I told him with a kiss, but I knew those were not the words I wanted to tell him, but I was too afraid to say the three words that I needed to say.

He held my lips a few minutes longer than I had thought he would it was almost as if he knew just what I wanted to say and he was saying the same with his lips on mine.

After our little lip lock we soon were quiet and I’m not sure why that is. Maybe I was tired or maybe he was, though I would think I would be tried way before he would.

I must have closed my eyes after we lay together quite for soon I opened my eyes and didn’t remember when I had closed them. I still felt Krad arms around me as I was still on him.

My mind starts to wonder if he is asleep.

He hasn’t said anything while we lay together on my floor with me moving around. The only thing he has done is shift his body so I was now closer to him.

I began to wonder if I was heavy to him. I wasn’t the lightest person in the world, loving a second plate would do that to a girl, but for some reason I didn’t think I was heavy to him.

Krad seemed to think I was the lightest person in the world. It was late I knew and I wonder why he was able to stay out so late. I wonder what his parents thought about him being out so late.

Come to think about it I don’t know much about him or his family or really anything. He knows so much about me, yet I feel like I am yet to really being getting to know him.

I felt him move slightly under me and this made me wonder if he was sleeping or not. I moved up a little and looked down at his face. He looks peaceful and this made me smile at him.

My eyes continued to stare at his beautiful face. He was perfect in his own right. This made me wonder why he liked me. My face wasn’t something perfect or even beautiful.

Maybe average or slightly better if one was to look close enough and see my face for what it was worth. Maybe if one tried harder to look past what people in the media found to be beautiful they would found something beautiful in my face, something different.

I had looked in a mirror countless times and never truly knew there had to be something about me that was pretty, something. I couldn’t have been ugly. No one was ugly; just not what that person thought was pretty.

But this made me wonder what he thought there was something pretty about me. What made him come to see me or what made him kiss me the way he did?

My hand soon was on his cheek and I wonder if I was really falling for him. I didn’t want to, didn’t want to risk my heart, but another part of me wanted to. That part of me wanted to love him badly to have him love me even more.

Knowing I was in love with him made me feel scared and I wanted to tell myself that I wasn’t in love with him so I wouldn’t be hurt once he said he didn’t love me, but I could not do that.

I closed my eyes and put my face back on his chest.

“Min-ie up-up.” My eyes open slowly at first trying to get used the light that was now in my room. I turned and saw Amanda on top of me looking down at me with wide blue eyes. I looked around and saw that I am in my bed then saw that Krad wasn’t.

We had fell asleep on the floor so how did I wake up in my bed? Did Krad put me in my bed?

“Min-ie up-up.” Amanda yelled again, but this time she jump up and down this pulled me from my thoughts of Krad.

“I’m up, sweetie I’m up.” I told her wanting to go back to where Krad could be, but it seemed my little sister wanting me to have my full attention on her.

Amanda smiled and kissed my cheek-she then got off of me so she could then try to pull me up out of the bed.

I frowned at her little hands trying their best to pull me up. Amanda seemed angry at the fact that I was not moving. She seemed like she was ready to cry so I just got up making it look like she had pulled me up.

A huge grinned formed on her face at this.

“Min-ie up-up.” She laughed and hugged me.

“Yes, Minnie is up.” I told her as she looked up at me-as she began to talk, but my mind wonder off to Krad.

Where on earth could Krad be?

We both had a good conversation and everything seemed fine. Maybe he just had to leave and didn’t want to wake me.

“Min-ie, listen.” I heard my sister light voice as it turned firm.

“I am sweetie I am.” I kissed her forehand. She didn’t believe me I could tell by the look on her face. I laughed, for a two year old this girl was too smart. “Sorry.”

“Minnie are you up.” I turned and saw my mother walk into the room. She held a phone in her hand with one hand over the receiver.

My face grew puzzled as I looked at her. She could look at me and see I was up-then she mouthed the word “Bill” and I was no longer puzzled.

My father was on the other end of that phone.

“Min-ie, shake.” Amanda said with her hand in mine. I looked at our hands and saw that I was shaking. I hadn’t heard from my father in years, what he could want I had no indeed, but did I want to know was a better question.

He had never tried to call me like this. Two days in a row, that wasn’t him, something must be wrong.

My mother must have noticed my shaking. She put the phone up to her mouth. “Bill I think she will have to-.”

“No mom I’m up.” I said wishing Krad was here more than ever. He would hold me close to him and I could feel his strong arms around me and then I would know everything was ok that as long as his arms were around me I would be ok.

My mom handed me the phone and grabbed Amanda hand leading her out the door.

“No, Min-ie.” She cried.

“Let’s go get some ice cream.” Our mom said to her and Amanda smiled widely letting go of her hand and running down out of my room. My mom followed but stopped at my door and smiled.

I knew that smiled meant to come to her if I need her, but I just shook my head at her. I needed to be strong. I was after all almost seventeen, so I needed to act like it.

I took a deep breath and put the phone by my ear.

“Hello.”

His voice was soft when he said my name and I had to stop myself from telling him not to call me that.

He didn’t know that people didn’t call me by my real name, but that was his flout that he didn’t know. I reminded myself. I still slightly however hoped he wanted to know.

I needed to shake that thought from my mind; I need to just think about why he is calling right now, that’s it.

“Bill.” I replied.

I heard him let out a breath. “I know I deserve that, but I wanted to talk to you about something on my mind these past few days.”

What you not being in my life? I thought as my mind wonder off on his voice.

“You and your brothers have been on my mind. I know that I haven’t been the best father, but I want to be if you let me.”

“You want to be in my life?”

“Yes, I love you and your brother. I want to be your father; Henry shouldn’t be doing my job, dear.”

He said my name and I was pulled from my day dream and looked ahead of me.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“I was telling you that my wife is about to have a baby girl, so I think it’s best if…..”

“What!” I yelled into the phone.

That was the one thing I had to use against him in my head. I was his only daughter and he still treated me wrong, now “his beloved” wife is going to have a baby girl, NO!

“Now don’t yell. I just called to tell you and your brother that my wife as well as I would like it a lot if you didn’t call or anything during this time.” He said so easily as if he didn’t care at all about what he had just said to me. “I can drive and talk dear.”

He must be talking to that wife of his. I rolled my eyes; I hope he hits a tree.

“I don’t call you now.” I replied to him with an annoyed tone.

“I know but I just had to let you know, with you and your brother living so close to us now, it will be easy for you to come see us. Look we just don’t want our daughter to get the wrong idea, her first few years are very important. I’ll tell her about you and your brother when she is older. Please tell the brother as well.”

“You know what BILL why don’t you just drop off of the face of the earth!”

“I will do just that.”

Bill said my name again softly and I tried to fight back the tears.

“Yeah….whatever.” I said to him knowing just what kind of guy he was. He just wanted his new child to think he was perfect, he didn’t want his new little girl to know just what kind of dad he really is.

Then of course there was the fact that now with this child it would be perfect for him to run for mayor just like he had always told mom he wanted to do. Plus now he is probably going to try and be a real father, but what about me and my brothers.

It was so unfair. This new baby gets a dad and we don’t!

“I will-” He was cut off by a load scream and a crashing sound. Soon all I heard was the dial tone.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviews. I am sorry I didn’t update sooner, but I have been doing stuff for my b-day all week, so I am going to update again this week. So again thanks for the reviews and support. It means so much to me that you all take time out to review.