Her Dark Paramour

Ariana’s transformation was scheduled for the end of the week. Edric didn’t want to wait

that long, but he conceded when Tobias told him he thought it a wise idea to have a member

from the Vampiric Counsel, who oversaw things like the paramour ritual, present to ensure

that no part of her transformation jeopardized their potential for the ritual. So the rest

of the week was needed to extend the invitation and receive a reply in the form of either a

rejection letter or a visiting member of the Counsel.

And, true to his word, Tobias allowed a revisit to the subject of a ‘coming out’ ball for

Ariana, which was quickly scheduled for two weeks after her transformation, to allow time

for Mrs. Beddoes to prepare in between the two events at the end of Ariana’s first month at

the manor. As it was too late to summon the older woman and get into specifics, they all

agreed to continue the planning in the morning. Tobias sent the pair upstairs, arriving

shortly thereafter to bid them goodnight and rope them into their respective rooms.

Once again, Ariana found it difficult to remain upright while Edric brushed her hair.

When he finished, tossing the brush on the floor, she snuggled into the circle of his

embrace. She sighed. Her life with Edric was becoming so complicated. But, here, in his

arms, everything made sense and it was all simple. She yawned and heard him chuckle at her.

“Tired, love?”

“Extremely: I can’t imagine why, though. Walking hours into the forest and then

sprinting back out again, spending the rest of the day in mental anguish over tearing your

soul to pieces, nothing out of the ordinary, wouldn’t you say?” She teased. Smiling, he

stroked her hair, looking into her eyes.

“First things first, love: don’t fret about that. I am confident that one day something

will happen, or you’ll see something and you will just know. And that day we can talk about

it again. But Tobias is right; it is foolish to entertain the idea when we are not of the

same understanding.” She sighed again, this time in consternation.

“Here you are waiting for me again.”

“And you accuse me of thinking the worst of things. It’s a non-issue, love. No one is

waiting. When it happens, and it will happen, then it happens. But once you are turned,

things need not occur within any sort of time frame. Besides, putting off this decision

doesn’t alter your continued presence in my life, so why should it distress me? And if

we’re to convince the Counsel we’re ready we will definitely need Tobias on our side. So,

if we’re waiting for anyone, it’s him. And your transformation will be enough to occupy all

our thoughts for the next week at least and then the ball after that.” That reminded her of

a question she’d been longing to ask.

“Will you tell me about your transformation? Why did Tobias turn you in the first

place?” He took a deep breath, searching for a place to begin.

“I suppose I should tell you the events leading up to that occurrence, for else they

will not likely make much sense to you.” He began. “I was a disenchanted boy in my youth.

I had no siblings and my parents treated me with varying levels of disdain, blaming me for

the myriad of problems in their marriage and using me as an unwitting prop for hurting one

another. As soon as I was old enough, I left their house and vowed never to return. My

education had been inconsistent and superficial, one of the first things Tobias corrected.”

Edric laughed, the coldness that had crept into his voice momentarily dispelled by the

warmth of feeling he felt for the older man. “So, given that I had never been introduced to

the world properly, either through education or an acquaintance with society, I was ill

suited to everything I could conceive of doing with myself. I attempted to find work as a

riding instructor, the one thing I felt even mildly competent at. Riding had been the only

luxury allowed me as a child, and I would retreat to the stables whenever I could to avoid

my parents and their indifferent retinue of servants. But, given my lack of appropriate

social interaction and without the concern of my parents that I learn to act as a gentleman

ought, I was unable to appeal to the grace and manners of any person wealthy enough to own

enough horses to require an instructor.

“I kept myself for a few years by working as a stable boy, though I was admittedly a

great deal older than all the other boys. I observed the behavior and manners of the

gentlemen and ladies whose horses I cared for, hoping that someday I might improve myself

enough to gain a position somewhere.” His face darkened, and Ariana feared what would come

next, what could be worse than what had already preceded it.

“When I was nineteen the stable master I was working for died suddenly. In the weeks

following his death, I became the unofficial master. The other boys looked to me to take

over the leadership position, given my advanced years and my heightened ability in dealing

with the horses. Apparently, my manners had not improved enough for this ability to be

appreciated, and a new stable master was soon hired to take over.

“The new master was a spiteful, jealous man, and he disliked me from the beginning

because of the way the boys looked to me for guidance instead of him and my keen horse

sense. How he ever maintained a post as a stable master is beyond me, as the man had the

most frightening effect on the horses. It was as if they could sense his petty, mean nature

and they shied from him so that he could hardly even get close to any of them which did not

help inspire confidence in the boys, who I tried to encourage to look to the new master

rather than myself, fearing for my position.

“Well, he quickly saw to it that I was discharged, and he refused to give me any sort of

letter of recommendation, and by that time I was nearing twenty and much too old to find a

new position as a stable boy, though I tried desperately. Deciding that my chances of

employment with the upper class, and thus with horses, was never to be, I moved into the

city to find what work my meager education and experience would allow. I moonlighted as a

laborer, a shopkeeper’s aide, I even worked briefly as a clerk, but at the time, my

handwriting was atrociously illegible, so that did not last very long. I lasted another two

years in the city flitting here and there from job to job, never settling into anything.

Either I was too unqualified to last long, or the job or its practitioners were too coarse

for me to stand.

“When I turned twenty-two, an odd parallel between us, love, I too left the city, but

for me, it was to return to my childhood home, in hope of forcing some sort of aid from my

parents, either financial or simply the use of their influence to obtain a position

somewhere. In my absence, my father had died, leaving my mother with a tangle of disordered

affairs. The woman was ill-equipped to deal with such matters, and most of the servants had

gone, and much of the furniture had been sold. But even in that desolation, without the

weight of my father’s ill-natured temper weighing on her, I found my mother a changed woman.

We had been too estranged in my childhood and came to it too late to share the loving bond

most children form with their parents. But rather than the cool jealousy she had always

displayed to me, for my father always doted on me in her presence, to vex her no doubt, she

was warm, and so pleased to see me.

“So, the circumstances of my homecoming were exactly contrary to my expectations; rather

than forcing aid from unaccommodating parents, I found no means of aid and an affection I

had never experienced. I helped my mother resolve her affairs as best I could. And though

we had to sell the house and move into a smaller cottage of sorts, in the end there was

enough to ensure her comfort, though not so much that she could offer me anything. Though I

found my mother’s company much more pleasant then I had remembered I found her trivial

manner and her constant chatter wearying. So, a year after I had arrived, I left my mother

and went back to the city with only an extremely small sum of money in my pocket.

“My circumstances were hardly improved. I still struggled to find my way with only an

occasional amiable letter from my mother with perhaps a coin or two in it. For the next

year I starved, I became disheveled, and unfit for anything but common laboring, though I

was hardly even fit for that. Finally, in the span of a few short days I lost my job, my

room, and received a letter from my mother’s housekeeper stating that my mother had died and

everything had been sold to fulfill her final expenses, the remainder, again, just a few

coins, included in the letter, which I had suspicion were actually from the housekeeper

herself. It was as if my life were a bad melodrama. I knew no one who could aid me, I had

no where to go, and I had no prospects for improving my situation.

“You told me once that you briefly courted suicide as a reaction to returning to your

old life. Well, another strange parallel between us, my thoughts were also on the river in

those days. I spent several nights standing on a bridge peering over the water and

contemplating how it would feel when I jumped in. The only other alternatives I could see

were slowly wasting away and theft. The thought of an immediate end to my pain was much

more appealing than lingering through it and even in my destitute state the thought of

descending into a petty criminal was distasteful to me. So, when my money had run out and

my attempts to find another job had been unsuccessful, I went to the bridge one final time.

“I stood staring out at the water for a long time. It is the only time that I can ever

distinctly remember crying. I was a failure. My life had defeated me and here I was, just

twenty-four, too destitute to continue. I wallowed in self pity, thinking that if I had had

one truly happy memory to see me through, I might have been able to persevere. But even

riding horse as a child was tainted by my parents. And learning to care for my mother in

her final days was never free of the association with how she had treated me as a child. I

had never had a lasting friend, and no employer had ever been truly kind to me or had taken

pity on me. I felt completely alone, helpless, unimportant. That was the thought that had

me climbing over the railing of the bridge. When I jumped in, no one would miss me. Even

my death would mark me as apart, separate from my fellow man, mourned by no one.

“When I was about to release my hold on the railing of the bridge and fall forward into

the water, I felt a presence near me, and then a cool hand on mine. I turned toward the

man, thinking it would probably be a policeman, and I’d have to find a different bridge to

jump from.

“But, it was Tobias. He asked me so kindly, without any indication of judgment, what it

was that distressed me so that I would go to such extreme lengths. His concern for me

seemed so sincere, and it had been so long since anyone had spoken to me with so much

compassion, with such selfless interest. It was as if he wanted to help me, but if I was

intent on jumping he would not stop me. He would allow whatever it was that I wanted

to occur. I found myself telling him everything, in even more self-pitying detail than I am

telling it to you now.

“When I had finished, he simply nodded and patted my hand in that way he has. His face

was full of such empathy, as if my pain gave him pain, a stranger he had just met. Nothing

had changed, but somehow the sympathy of this stranger made me feel better. We stood there

for awhile, not speaking. He then asked me if there was another way out of my present

troubles, would I take it, rather than needlessly destroying myself.

“I couldn’t see any way for my fate to be softened, but his words gave me hope. So, I

acquiesced. He asked me to climb back over the rail, lest I momentarily forget myself and

tumble in accidentally. I did so, and he put an arm around me, gently leading me off of the

bridge. He told me that he had begun to become increasingly lonely as the years passed and

found he longed for a companion, a ward of sorts to care for, someone to have discussions

with, and to impart wisdom and knowledge to.

“I found his declaration absurd, and I wondered if he were trying to trick me in some

way. He seemed to me a rather good-looking man in his early thirties who could have won the

affections of any sensible girl and had a flock of children of his own to bestow his

affections on. Since then, I have learned that Tobias is rather like a monk. He is content

to live quietly with his books and simple companionship. He loves all things, but with

equal intensity, singling out no one for a more passionate affection. Though I may have

become a slight exception, and I believe you are becoming one as well.” He smiled at her.

“That is just his nature. But at the time, it seemed very strange to me that this amiable

man was offering himself as a benefactor to a suicidal, dirty young man with no obvious

talents or redeeming qualities.

“Ever the practical man, Tobias offered me a trial week, much as he offered one to you,

in order than we might both test out the potential for such a relationship. And, if after a

week, I found his companionship unappealing in any way, I was free to return to my bridge.

I was wary, but I agreed, after all, if it didn’t work out, the river would still be there

in a week. So, he brought me here and for a few days we sat together in the study and he

began attempting to fill in the holes in my education.

“One day, Tobias ended our lessons early and asked me to go for a walk with him. He

asked me if I’d noticed anything about him that gave rise to questions. I must admit, I was

far less observant than you, and I had noticed little, and the things I had noticed I

chalked up to Tobias’ eccentric nature. He shook his head at me, rather indulgently, like I

was a child who was missing the obvious. He still does that from time to time, though I’m

getting better.” Edric laughed. “He explained to me very calmly some of the things that

were different about him, eventually leading up to his revelation, though he did it much

more subtly and with greater finesse than I did with you. When he had told me, he said that

I had three options: to return to the city with his blessing and a substantial sum in my

pocket and his aid in finding me a respectable job, to remain with him as his ward as long

as I pleased, even until my eventual death, or to become more than a ward, more like a son,

and to become a vampire as well.

“Well, I was loath to leave him. He was the first consistent positive influence in my

life, and under his tutelage I could see myself actually becoming a worthwhile person,

someone worthy of respect and admiration. And though it was clear he left the decision

entirely up to me, I knew he would be saddened if I left. So I decided to stay with him,

and since being human hadn’t seemed to be such a positive thing for me in the first place, I

also decided to be turned. The thought of unlimited amounts of time to learn from Tobias,

history, geography, science, music, languages, everything, excited me to no end.

“So, the next day, it happened. And at first, I was perfectly content. I found I was

actually somewhat intelligent, much to my surprise, and it didn’t take me as long as I had

anticipated learning new things. I read voraciously and debated with Tobias constantly,

learning as much as I could from him. He taught me music, and even some dancing, though

that was admittedly a little awkward until he had a female friend come and stay with us for

awhile to help me. We traveled together, seeing the world and observing other cultures.

And it was all extremely fascinating.

But as the years passed, I found myself more and more unsatisfied. After awhile I found

there were less new things to learn, and many of them did not interest me. I still relished

Tobias’ guidance and company, but like I told you before, I longed for something else. I

never had a proper childhood, and even my adolescence was stunted. I was never allowed to

be carefree and wild, and Tobias’ gentle nature, though he did not censure these traits in

me, was unable to partake in them. And so, after nearly a decade with him, I began looking

for that something else. But to no avail. Nearly all the other vampires that Tobias knew

were much older than me, closer to his age or older, and they, like Tobias were much more

settled in their natures.

“A few years ago, when I finally found the courage to confide my desire in him, trusting

that it would not wound him, he began inviting all sorts of younger male vampires to stay

with us. Many of them were interested in horses, or sports of some kind, but it became

swiftly apparent to me that I did not long for a friend or companion, per se. I already had

Tobias for that. He was, and is, a greater friend to me than I could have ever asked for.

I found myself, a century and a half earlier, longing for what Tobias had sought me out for:

someone to care for. But, unlike Tobias, I wasn’t looking for a son.

“Then, when I had made my desire for the endless parade of arranged playmates to end,

Tobias began thrusting young women at me. Thankfully, he knew precious few. And though

many of them were lovely and some of them were charming, and a few were kind, none of them

were appealing to me. They didn’t understand the need for fun the way I did, the need for

boisterous activity and laugher. They were all too dainty, too concerned with being

properly lady-like. So I went looking for you on my own. And the rest you know.”

Ariana was silent, her eyes brimming with tears, absorbing the highlights of Edric’s life

story. She had thought her own suffering was rather more pronounced than that of the

average individual, but in comparison to his, her life seemed a veritable walk in the park.

And for all his self deprecation, she knew that to give himself a chance, to take Tobias up

on his offer and possibly fail once more, was a braver act than he gave himself credit for.

Her affection for the older man grew as gratitude was added to it. Tobias had saved Edric

from himself.

Wondering if she had fallen asleep during his rather long speech, he looked down at her

curiously.

“Oh, Edric.” That was all she could manage for the moment. He stroked her hair again,

smiling.

“I’ve had a happy life here with Tobias for about as long as my miserable human

existence lasted, and some of that was unmemorable infancy. My happy memories have long

over taken my old pains, especially since your addition, love.” He brushed the tear that

had escaped from her cheek.

“But to think that you nearly…” She shuddered at the thought of Edric ceasing his own

existence, a thought which she could not bear to linger on.

“What’s passed is past, love. I would rather revel in my hopeful future and my blissful

present than wallow in my sorry past. It will not change, no matter how much I think about

it and wish it weren’t so.” He kissed her forehead, gently closing her eyes, urging her to

sleep. He whispered to her. “And think if I hadn’t been on that bridge, and if I hadn’t

met Tobias, I would not have found you. And for that, I am thankful for every wretched

moment of my human life that led me there that night.”

His calm reminiscence and his reassuring words comforted her. Though she could not be

thankful for anything that had caused Edric pain, the thought of not being with him

almost made his observation seem reasonable. She smiled, and with her eyes closed her

exhaustion returned. Yawning, she snuggled closer to him and quickly headed toward sleep.

As she drifted off in his arms, Edric whispered to her again.

“I love you Ariana.”