rate_review Reviews

PLEASE WRITE MORE !!!!! STORIES LIKE THIS!! IT WAS SOOO AWESOME!! ALSO DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SAVE STORIES TO A FAVORITE LIST?? Please let me know.. noelle_armywife@yahoo.com

oh my god. u are the greatest person alive right to me, i just found this story and i've been reading nonstop through it all, pleaseeeeeee update soooonnnn,if not for my sake but just because this strory is to good to end without the proper finish.

I think your story is just awsome!
You're a author, I realy envie for his skills and ideas.

BUT

You've written:
Focusing on him, the unexpected center of her universe, Ariana drew from the calm emanating from him like a soothing mist and felt her racing heart decelerate and her breathing come easier.

...

Well... I kind of know a rasing hearth is a sign of fear if you're a human, but...
As previous mentiont in your story a Vampires hearth doesn't beat.
As he didn't have hearthbeat or pulse when he told her, he was a vampire.

I'm sorry, if I made some mistakes in this Review, but english isn't my native language.
Anyway, keep on with your great story.

"This chapter probably wouldn't have been posted for another few weeks if not for CutiePie."

Crap, now I feel like sh!t for disappearing off the face of the Earth, myself. I was also busy with my senior thesis, graduation, work, finding a "real" job (which hasn't happened yet) and just general life that got in the way. So no, I haven't abandoned this either. I simply just got off track a little bit.

Did this story die? :(

I liked it really I did. But you asked for a review and considering I've read the first chapter. Eh, the first few sentences screamed boring not attention holding and it didn't.. Usually when I sit down to read a good and I mean damn good book very little can get me to put it down. But, yours on the other hand I was looking for excuses to leave it and come back to finish reading the chapter. Please, do not take it to heart I'm just giving my honest opinion on the 1st chapter. You do have some great talent in there it just needs more fine tuning and crafting.

Awww... :)

DX NOOOOOOO, Maddening. :3 XD I don't mind waiting. (TBH I like Tobias best O= He has unexplored depths to him.) This is a nice chapter although as you said ending in an odd place. I can't wait for the next chapter.

First may I state that yours is the first work I felt qualified for a review. It's excellent, and I think it can very easily be published. It is exactly the type of story I would buy from the bookstore to read. Please keep up the good work. Incidentally if you need any backround research on horses and/or England(though you seem to have England very well researched already) feel free to message me via email.

Sincerely, Terpsikhore.

P.S. I'd enjoy it greatly if you did write a story about Tobias as well. He seems to qualify for a sequel. Perhaps he should find a lady of his own. ~.^

If I were Edric, I'd hunt down Ariana's attacker and give her such a swift ass-kicking, she wouldn't be able to poop for the next century!