Abyss

Chapter 11: Taking action



Still, something had shifted between them, broken. Pheus was not sure whether it was due to his small outburst of frustration – he somehow did not see how that could affect Ayve so strongly –, but it was undeniable. Ayve was distant, almost unreachable. It was as if he merely tolerated Pheus’ presence but allocated no importance to it. There were no more nights in which Pheus could hold him in his arms, no silent compliance. Ayve’s will was back; and it was bent on things far away from Pheus.



Many hours the nymph spent alone outside, straining his body to the limits, demanding the impossible of it in order to train it, to prepare it for the tasks Ayve was going to assign to it and himself.



A rasping sound heralded his arrival in the early evening before the slender figure entered their shelter, a walking stick in one hand, the other hand holding a piece of cloth he had converted into a bag. His every breath, his every move plainly displaying his exhaustion, he crouched down and poured the contents of his bag, a wild assortment of eatable blossoms, into a bowl.



Pheus tended the fire over which his prey was roasted, gazing darkly and full of worry over to his involuntary (or so it seemed) companion. “I have found some eggs for you,” he told him. Ayve’s stomach still could not handle meat. He pulled them out of the embers and sent them rolling over to where Ayve was cutting their stock of roots for the salad.



When he had finished preparing his part of the meal, Ayve moved a little closer to the fire. I have convinced Seya and the others to join us when we set out to seek for the others, he informed Pheus. I think we should do so within a week. Winter will be milder further South.



Pheus frowned. “How do you expect this to work? I can hardly take care of three nymphs that are incapable of defending themselves and a person that is barely able stand on his own two legs! You overexert yourself, Ayve!” he reprimanded the frail man.



Ayve stared resolutely back at him. My body may be broken, Pheus. My will power is not, he clenched his fist in determination so that his bones stood out sharply. I admit that your help would be useful – and I would be grateful for it – but I am not defenceless. I will do what is my purpose, no matter if you assist me or not.



Pheus turned away to pull himself together before he replied. “You are unreasonable. Wait until you have recovered further, Ayve, I besiege you! You risk your health with this stubbornness!”



That cannot be helped.



Pheus clenched his jaw and bit down hard on his answer.







He loathed the company of the other nymphs. In silence they trudged on, no one trusting the other and therefore holding in whatever they would have liked to communicate, vigilantly eyeing the potential opponent. Seya was the worst of all. He should have been a good example for his shy female protégés, but instead he was the embodiment of the difficult relation between Ayve and his tribe. He clung to all the old prejudices that had caused so much pain to the half nymph.



The first evenings, when they sat around the fire – keeping the appropriate distance – none of the nymphs accepted the meat that Pheus hunted. Ayve could not eat it for obvious reasons, but the others held back out of sheer distrust. Green eyes bore into Ayve, prompting him to bring his people to terms. After all, he had insisted on this mad journey.



For about two weeks, the three nymphs fed only on what they collected during their day’s walk. When Ayve started preparing food for them in the traditional way, however, – cooking tea and soup, spicing the meat, and creating salads – the two females hesitantly accepted it, probably set at ease by being presented the food by the rightful leader of their clan and feeling obliged to show some amount of gratefulness.



Seya watched them suspiciously for a while, but seemed to decide that not accepting the offered treats would be impolite in the end. He looked rather sheepish.



Pheus snorted deprecatingly and was eyed for it once more.



What bothered him the most was the lack of any opportunity to be alone with Ayve. Even though there had been no intimacy between them lately and it seemed unlikely to return anytime soon, Pheus had still enjoyed their evenings of companionable silence that now where gone as well.







Ayve did not choose a direct path south. In contrast, they travelled in wide arcs from East to West and back, only slowly getting closer to the Southern parts of the British Island. Pheus was constantly on edge, loathing the continuous proximity of humans. Ayve, however, sought them out deliberately, often walking freely, only disguised by his mental gift, through their inhabitations, taking a look-out for any signs of his kinsmen.



“Why do you need to go into their settlements?” Pheus enquired when Ayve prepared once more to separate from them for a few hours to roam inhabited areas whereas the others were to go on in the woods. What they discussed was none of the other’s business, so he spoke in his own kin’s language. “You can sense people from a distance, after all. Use your talents!”



There are too many people. I might miss the one nymph amongst them. You told me yourself that you would have nearly missed me even though you were seeking very carefully. I am just copying your method, Ayve replied calmly.



“Let me go in your stead then,” Pheus suggested pointedly as a last resort.



Ayve looked at him indulgently as if he should know better. This is my task, Pheus. Although he spoke with his inner voice, Ayve looked about to make sure that the others were not paying them any attention before he fixed Pheus intently with his stare. I am grateful for the patient care with which you have brought me back from the twilight, Pheus, but surely you realise that this alone would not have given me the energy to go on? He looked at his uncle with a silent demand for understanding. My will to live originates in the task my father has left me. Help me to fulfil it when my strength leaves me, but don’t take it away from me. I need it.



Pheus stared at him taken aback. How could live anyone like this? Ayve isolated himself deliberately… Not only from Pheus, but also from himself, from his own needs!



Ayve dropped his gaze and turned to leave. On second thought, he faced Pheus once more. I told you I could not give you what you seek. I wish I could show you my gratitude… He shook his head, a frown upon his face as if the mere thought of letting Pheus touch him irritated him. I know this must be a disappointment for you; I know you have no love for my tribe. There will be no bad blood between us should you decide to go. Not that I had the strength for such feelings. He turned, his shoulders hunched as if heavily burdened, and walked slowly but steadily toward the hill behind which they knew lay a village.







Ayve moved past small herds of sheep and fields covered with barley as he slowly approached the number of houses that lined up along a muddy path. Every step of his was carefully measured, every breath carefully drawn. He knew the limits of his mortal coil, had painstakingly explored them in advance to this exhausting journey. They would have to travel far, further than he had gone in the past, not only to find as many members of his tribe as they could but also to find a new dwelling place for them.



They advanced slowly, he was aware of that. His slow motions were stalling them. Even if they had not, the low morale would have sufficed to produce the same effect. Seya was worried about the outcome of their wanderings, doubting both Ayve’s and above all else Pheus’ motives. The ladies in turn were concerned about their future. And neither of their morale was lifted by a month’s worth of travelling without finding a single familiar soul.



However, this was not the time to pity oneself. Had Ayve directed one thought at seeking comfort, he would not have found the iron will to carry on at high personal costs. This was the reason why he discouraged Pheus so vehemently in his hopes of a future for them. Admittedly, deep down Ayve knew there were more reasons for that. Yet he could not face them now. He needed his strength.



A young girl plucked corn flowers at the rim of the field. He passed her by without being noticed and stepped into the village. It was midday by now.



Ayve walked in the centre of the narrow path, forcing the people to take a wide arc around him. It was trying for him each time to be in these dreadfully familiar surroundings. He suppressed the blurry images that threatened to emerge from his subconscious. Forcing his hitching breath back into its rhythm, he set one foot in front of the other, clutching his stick, and caught the voices that surrounded him. His wanderings amongst humans on his return journey from Pheus’ people and later encounters had given him a base understanding of their language that was enhanced with each of his visits, now.



Pheus of course did not understand why Ayve sought such deep knowledge about humans. For him they were not worth the trouble. He loathed them. Ayve could well understand this sentiment, but he did not share it. He found himself strangely detached from them. There was no feeling at all in him - as long as they did not get too close. The idea that any of them could step close enough to touch him, especially one of the males, sent cold shivers down his spine and robbed Ayve of his breath. It petrified him. He was relieved beyond measure that he had no recollection of what had driven him to this panic-like reaction.



As for why he thrived for deeper knowledge about humans, there were many reasons. From his point of view, it was obvious that mankind was going to play an even greater role in their lives. The Humans spread further and further; it was getting more difficult with every month to avoid them. Therefore, it was essential to learn about them. Ayve was not yet sure to what use he would put the collected knowledge in the future; at this point, understanding the human language(s) was a helpful instrument of gathering information for his quest.



He arrived at a well in the centre of the settlement. Women were washing clothes and chatted animatedly while they worked. They gossiped about a farmer that lived a little secluded. An old man that had lost his family years ago. Now, so the women said, he had company again; a young girl, a stray, that had stolen food from him repeatedly before she had been caught. In the mind of the woman who contributed the most details, Ayve found a clear picture of where to find the farm.



He proceeded towards it, after he had drunken a few handfuls of clear, cool water.



The old farmer was out in the fields. That suited Ayve. He approached the house that was not in very good shape. “Keeps her with the chickens to keep the fox away at night,” the gossip monger had said, laughter accompanying her words. Some of her listeners had shaken their heads.



Ayve found the chickens.



She was bound to a brittle joist; a meagre hen was sitting in her lap. A small amount of relief swept through Ayve. Finally he had found someone. His search was not in vain. It was his sister, Ceira. That fact did not have any meaning for Ayve, unfortunately. He had only met her a few times. There was no special bond between nymph siblings. Their age difference was always too big, and family was not as highly valued amongst nymphs as it was amongst other people. The tribe was what kept them safe. The tribe was their home. Ceira was a member of his tribe.



The nymph revealed himself to his half-sister.



The young woman stared at him in disbelief.



Ayve explained that he had looked for her together with others of their tribe. Careful not to scare her, he slowly stepped up and undid the fetters. How long have you been here? he asked her calmly.



“For five days, I believe. He caught me at stealing eggs,” Ceira admitted ashamed. “I was hungry and desperate,” she tried to justify her actions. The belongings of others were sacred to nymphs. “When I returned to the tribe, no one was there anymore… I did not know where to turn to…” She could not look her brother in the eyes.



Are you hungry, now? Ayve enquired. The walk that lay before them would cost strength, after all.



Ceira negated. “He gave me food.”



So the farmer had at least shown some mercy.



Ayve motioned for her to follow him, making sure neither of them was seen as they crossed the field.







Pheus was worried when the sun slowly disappeared further and further below the horizon and still there was no sign of Ayve. He had not spent a single thought on doing what the fragile nymph had encouraged him to do. His place was with Ayve. He was certain of it. In truth, beside all the anger he felt for not getting what he wanted, Pheus was admiring Ayve’s determination, his devotion.



A muted discussion was taking place between the three nymphs that were with him. One of the females had accepted the food Pheus had offered her, and Seya was scandalised by her behaviour. Their dark haired observer smirked amusedly and listened with all his might for any signs that Ayve was approaching.



Suddenly, he glimpsed movement in the distance. There were two figures stepping through the thicket. Pheus rose, which caught the attention of the others who followed his gaze. Their eyes were not as good as his in the dark, so it took them a while until they saw what he was looking at. Then all of them jumped up and hurried forwards.



Ayve arrived alone at the fire, glanced at Pheus, and cut himself a piece of the meat. The arm with which he supported himself shook as he sank slowly, eyes closed in concentration, to the floor.



Pheus handed him a bowl of water, his eyes raking over the exhausted body in silent concern that it might forsake its inhabitant. “You seem to reach your limits,” he addressed the evident problem cautiously. “Perhaps we should rest for a day. No one will mind after today’s success…”



Ayve moved the bowl to his lips with a trembling hand and took a sip. He glanced sideways at the man that refused to let him go. Perhaps, he conceded reluctantly.







They found two others, a male and a female, while they took their winding path south. Late in the year, the group of eight took refuge from the cruel storms outside in a sea cave. Pheus and Ayve had ‘procured’ supplies during their last excurse to a fishing village.



When the group of nymphs had grown, Pheus had decided that it was no longer necessary – or that he was no longer willing – to stick with them while Ayve was limping off alone. Instead, he had followed the frail man. At the beginning, Ayve had protested, but since he had no right to dictate Pheus what to do, he had soon given in to him. From then on, they had set out together whenever Ayve was driven by the urge to look for his kinsmen in inhabited areas. They hardly spoke a word during those wanderings, but Pheus dwelled in these opportunities to have Ayve all to himself nonetheless.



Now, they sat in one corner of the cave, close to the fire, and held a silent conversation while the nymphs exchanged tales of their wanderings and of the horrors back home in a different corner.



How do you intend to go on? Where are you headed to? Pheus asked what had long been a burning question in the back of his mind but had not yet left it because he had feared to discourage Ayve by addressing his uncertain outlook. He scrutinised his companion closely.



His long, black mane enveloping his upper body, the nymph leader looked out onto the nightly sea. His hands rested lifelessly in his lap. A single, grey hair danced in the wind. Eventually, Ayve turned towards Pheus, his countenance revealing his anguish. I am not sure. I had hoped to have found more of my people by now. Either we have missed them, they are… deceased or they have travelled further. Many of them were interested in seeing the lands I had been to.



Then again, he came around, even if more of them were with us, now, I would still be the eldest and – leaving you out – the most experienced by far. So, where to turn? I think we should go overseas. Still, it will not be an easy feat to find a new home for us. We are so few at the moment. Even if we picked up a stray or two on the way that lies ahead of us, he shook his head minutely, we would not be enough to form a functioning tribe. A group of youngsters without any role models, without any structures to be geared to… It would be better if we could join an existing tribe for the time being.



Pheus was not aware of any other nymph tribes. You are not talking of my people, surely?



Ayve smirked faintly. No.



I bet my brother has taken over leadership by now, unless my father has undergone a mysterious recovery. Pheus listlessly scratched grooves with a stick into the floor.



So you know another nymph tribe? he urged Ayve on to speak after a moment of silence.



I know of one. Hada told me about it. Unfortunately, the stories about it are very old and vague. If it still exists, it must be very far away, much farther eastwards than your people live, even now that you have moved. None of my tribe have met even one foreign nymph in ages. From your surprised reaction I take it that you haven’t seen any or heard of any encounters with foreign nymphs either.



Pheus negated.



My predicament is: shall I lead these young people into uncertainty? Promise them a new home, lead them on a hard, long journey, without knowing if what we steer towards still exists? Do I really have a choice?



Pheus’ mind started to work frantically. On the one hand, he was looking for the objectively right answer to Ayve’s problem; on the other hand, he was analysing what would be the best solution for himself. The frail man would depend on him on such a long journey. He did not see an alternative either. However, Ayve was right to worry about how the long time of uncertainty would affect his young protégés.



I guess all I can do is be honest with them and include them in the decision. That way, they will know what they are facing and cannot complain, Ayve reasoned.



Something in Pheus laughed at the thought of letting subordinates take part in the decision making. It was so typically nymphish. Still, he could not deny the merits. That would at least stop those ungrateful people from complaining loudly.



He looked over to the six. It would be best to talk to them, now. They are in good spirits.



Andreji copied his movement, then closed his eyes for the tiniest of moments and rose labouredly. Pheus backed him up.



Immediately, all eyes were on them.



Even though Pheus could tell how much it strained Ayve, the frail man sank slowly down where his kinsmen had allocated a place to him in their circle. The cold and wet weather had worsened Ayve’s condition.



We have to decide how to continue. There are three possibilities that I can think of, but none of them are simple; therefore, I think we should discuss them. Ayve paused to give them the opportunity to speak. Yet no one seemed to feel the need to. We are a very small group. We could go and find ourselves a nice place to live, but it would be a hard life. We would have to work tirelessly to sustain ourselves, and I am not healthy. In my view, it would be better to join an existing tribe.



Seya’s eyes widened. “The eastern clan…!” he whispered excitedly.



Pheus smirked. This went better than expected. Now they were actually suggesting the route themselves.



Ayve made a high clicking noise. There is also the option of joining Pheus’ clan – the look that Pheus was granted at that clearly stated what Seya thought of this possibility – but we don’t think this is a good option. The use of ‘we’ clearly defended Ayve’s companion from said stare. They are facing an uncertain future themselves and would not welcome us with open arms. Nonetheless, even though you have named the third option, the one that we favour, yourselves, I have to warn you – if the eastern clan still exists, it must be very, very far away. It will be a very long and trying journey. We will have to travel through unknown lands, in hot summers and freezing cold winters, we will travel through lands inhabited by humans and over mountains. Above all, we will not know what awaits us and how long we will be on our way. Perhaps we are lucky and meet others. However, we cannot rely on our hopes. We need to face the likeliness of spending a long time with each other. Depending on each other. We will need to stick together, trust each other. Will you be able to do that?



Most of the nymphs immediately declared their incomprehension why that question had to even be asked, but the eyes of one of them still lingered on the man that sat behind their leader. Ayve stared at him in turn, calling upon him wordlessly to speak his mind.



“How can we trust a person that we don’t know?” Seya asked forthrightly.



Ayve’s eyebrows rose slightly. You could judge him by what he has done for you so far. Three of you would still be lost if it weren’t for him.



“It was not he who found them,” Seya objected.



Ayve held his gaze calmly. He found me. Don’t fool yourself. Would you have come looking for me? Or would you have hit the road all by yourselves to find the others? Of course, those questions were rhetorical, but Ayve paused another moment in case someone dared to say yes. Without Pheus, we would not be here. We owe him for that already. Additionally, he will be very valuable on our trip. He is much more experienced in travelling than any of us. There was much more in the back of Ayve’s mind that made him glad that Pheus was so set on staying by his side, but it was better not to mention Pheus’ physical strength and other qualities that would add to their safety – they might set the others at unease.



Ayve still looked at Seya. What do you say?



Seya looked away in defeat. “I say we have no choice.” He locked eyes with his leader again.



That is true, Ayve admitted, Yet it is not enough. There will be no place for distrust. And I don’t see a reason for it either. Granted, Pheus is not a nymph. He has learned to handle things differently than we do. Still, that does not make him a bad person. He is as loyal as we are.



It was amusing to see the two men argue over him. Pheus had to suppress a smirk.



“Why should he be loyal to us?” Seya countered Ayve’s reply.



He is loyal to me.



“Why?” Seya insisted.



Because I am family.



Now, Pheus had to literally bite his cheek to keep a straight face. This was perfect, ingenious. Ayve had just asked the ultimate question – did they trust him? After all, that Ayve openly admitted that he and Pheus were related was also an unmistakeable confession that he was indeed not the deceased nymph leader’s son. It was the ideal opportunity to contest Ayve’s claim on the leadership.



The crackling of the fire and the hissing of the storm outside were the only sounds in the cave. No one said a word.



Are we agreed, then? Ayve enquired after waiting some time.



There was a concordant murmur of consent.





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