Fate

Chapte 11

Another week passed before Ella made up her mind. Life was too cruel, and she was too weak to keep living this way. Stevie reported that Sebastian had dropped by with a rose a couple times, and Ella refused to see them. Roses for what? Love? Roses die, so does love, and so does life. Ella owned a small dagger, which she seldom used. When she did it was in self-defense. This would be the last time she would use it, and it still would be in self-defense: Self-defense against herself.


It was late at night, or rather, very early in the morning. Kat was asleep, so were Stevie and the rest of the house. Ella pulled the dagger from its hiding place, and gathered her belongings. She would end her street life where she had begun it: Not at her house of birth, but in the doorway around the corner that had been faithfully hers until she had gotten her job at Sty’s. She curled up on and in her coat, her bag of clothes nestled between her knees and the corner of the doorway. The street was empty. She looked at the blade, cold and silver in the moonlight. She ran it across her finger lightly, and a second later, a stinging sensation told her she had cut the skin.

Ella rolled her sleeves up. The moon was so bright she could see as clearly as in daylight. Her veins stood out, slightly darker and slightly blue, against her skin. Calmly, with her right hand, she pressed the point of the dagger at the vein in her wrist, and methodically pulled it back, dragging open a line of blood to crook of her elbow. Her left arm shook just a little as she transferred the dagger to her left hand, and opened her vein on her right arm. The blood flowed serenely, and she hardly felt the pain. Wanting to be sure she would die soon, she slashed both her wrists as well, then let the dagger fall, and rested her head against the wall. Weariness overtook her, and she fell into slumber, sure to never wake.


She was surrounded by dark. Her pain was gone. She seemed to be moving, but it was impossible to tell since there was nothing to measure her movement by. She was floating. Someone seemed to be calling her name…

“…Ella……Ella…Answer me…” but it was coming from far away, like an echo. It was, she dimly registered, a man’s voice. A hope filled her chest as she thought of her father. Perhaps he was trying to lead her to him? She would see her family! There was a good reason after all for her suicide. She would be reunited with those she loved above all others.

“…Ella……Ella, please…” Something hit her cheek, and her head jerked to the side. Now she was very confused.

“…Open your eyes, Goddess damn it, Ella! ...” The voice seemed to be closer. It was not her father’s voice.

*go back* this new, female, voice spoke to her in her mind.

“Ana?” Ella tried to speak.

*Now is not your time, go back*

“Ana, I don’t understand,”

*There is nothing to understand. Trust me, as you have in the past. Go back*

That is when Ella realized her eyes were closed.


“Ella? Ella, wake up, please… show me your eyes… your beautiful chocolate eyes…” were the whispered words in her ear.

Her eyes seemed to flicker, but she didn’t move. Awareness slowly came back to her. A body was pressing hers to his, and she lay relatively limp. Heaviness had settled in her limbs, and she couldn’t move them no matter how hard she wanted to. She felt wetness on her cheeks, and didn’t know if they were her tears or someone else’s.

She couldn’t remember where she was, or what she had done. Everything was hazy.


She swam in and out of consciousness. She felt herself being picked up, and tried to mumble something about her belongings. She didn’t know if she was heard. The cool wind did not wake her, nor did she feel lips being pressed to her own.


Ella awoke again several hours later, though it might’ve been minutes for all she knew. She registered two people moving around her, as well as an itchiness along her arms. She forced her eyes open, anxious to know where she was. The lights were dim, but still she squinted, trying to see. An unfamiliar face swam into view.

“Liana, she’s awake,” said the figure.

A second figure joined the first.

“…Wha—” Ella tried to speak, but all that came was a croak, and the pain of forcing parched lips into movement.

“You’ve been out of it for a day. Do not speak, do not move, until I say so,” Liana said in a firm but gentle voice. She got a wet cloth and pressed it to Ella’s lips, then wrung it above her mouth and allowed the water to trickle in. Liana moved a few things around, took Ella’s pulse, and checked her arms.

“Do you remember what happened?” she asked, as she carefully unwrapped a length of linen from Ella’s arm.

“I… I tried to kill myself,” Ella answered, her voice slightly wavering. She had not succeeded. She would not be seeing her family. ‘Damn whoever found me!’ she cursed.

“Yes. You were lucky someone cared enough to stop by and bring you in.” said Liana.

“Who? Who was it?”

“I don’t know. You were deposited at my doorstep, quite literally,”

Ella sighed softly. She didn’t even have a name to hate.

“Why did you try to kill yourself?”

“There was, and still is, no point to my life. Do you know my living situation?”

“No,” answered Liana honestly.

“I’m sixteen and I work at Sty’s on Tendri. I lost all my family many months ago in a fire. I stupidly fell in love and ended up breaking my own heart. Life is not worth it on the streets. I’d rather die than keep living.”

Liana just listened silently.

“I don’t even know why you’re caring for me. It’s not like I have any money to pay for this.” Ella didn’t know where her money was. She needed to open a bank account somewhere, but everyone so far had turned her down, because of her social status. As far as she knew, all her belongings were still in the doorway where she had tried to end her life.

“Your care is being paid for. Anonymously, but I suppose it is by the same person who brought you here.” Liana said softly. She was filled with respect for the young girl.

“What about my belongings?”

Liana pointed to the chair. Draped across the back was her coat, while her bag rested next to it.

Ella couldn’t take it anymore: she burst into silent tears. Liana, sensing the girl needed to be alone, wrapped her arm up, and left, quietly shutting the door behind her. She would change the bandage later.


She wept for the miserable turn her life had taken. She had lived with blissful happiness until the fire, and then had known love four months after her time on the streets. Fate was cruel in denying her suicide. There was no doubt she had lost much blood. With new resolution, she wondered if the wounds were fresh enough to easily open up once more. She pushed herself upright, wincing slightly as she used her arms. Yes, the wounds were definitely fresh enough. She looked around, and saw nothing sharp. ‘Of course,’ she almost snorted at her own stupidity, ‘they would hardly leave sharp objects in a room where a suicidal girl is staying.’ She flopped back onto the bed. Sleep would heal her to some extent.

She closed her eyes, yet sleep did not come. Ella did attain a detachment from her body however, and she hardly heard the door open and close with the return of Liana, and the changing of the bandages. Some more time passed, during which Ella may or may not have fallen asleep. The door opened and closed once more.

‘Liana must be checking on me…’ she thought, until a chair was moved to her bedside, and warm hands picked up her left one and just held it. A kiss was deposited on the back of her hand.


“Ella…They told me you’ve awoken.” Sebastian began awkwardly, “I suppose you’ve gone back to sleep now…” he let his voice drift.

“I miss you,” he said softly, “I’ve missed you since you turned away from me nearly three months ago. And more than that, I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. Father wanted me to marry, and I was in no position to argue, nor delay the wedding. He chose Miranda; if I had had the will to have my way, you would be my wife, not she… I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m hoping you can, because I need to say this, and you need to hear it. I know you well Ella, I know you still love me. I could see it in your eyes yesterday.”

A sob escaped her, and tears dripped from the corners of her eyes into her hair. Sebastian stood, and gently wiped them with his fingers, without letting go of her hand. Ella kept her eyes closed; she didn’t dare open them and find that this was all a dream. She trembled slightly as his lips found hers in a soft kiss. He licked her lips, and was rewarded with access to her mouth. His fingers twined with hers as his other hand stroked her cheeks, wiping the tears.

“I love you Ella,” he whispered against her lips.

She couldn’t find her voice to reply.


A knock at the door made Sebastian jerk away.

“Excuse me sir,” it was Liana, “but Ella needs her rest. The hour is up.”

“My thanks, Liana,” Sebastian said, fighting to control the emotion in his voice, “When may I come back?”

“It depends on her condition, is there a way to contact you?”

There was a short pause before, “No. I can come by around the third hour of the afternoon, however.”

“That should be fine.”

“Thank you, good day,”

“And to you, sir,”

The door closed, and Liana came over to the bed, to find Ella’s tear tracks still fresh. ‘Oh my poor girl, who is he to you?’ she thought, as she checked Ella’s vital signs.


Ella turned Sebastian’s visit over in her mind many times, only to come to the same conclusion: He must’ve been the one who brought her here. That would explain the secrecy of depositing her, then running off. He wouldn’t want his family to find out.