Self
Chapter 3 II
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Chapter 3
After a
month in the infirmary I was completely healed, Mercury sat with me daily,
giving me draughts of Dante’s blood and talking to me, telling me all that went
on. These tiny drinks were administered
three times a day. The wound in my
shoulder was the only one that had scarred.
The flesh of the scar was bright and new, every now and then I could
feel the pain from what had happened, phantom pain they called it.
one day go away. Once I was healed
Dante came for me. He had been freshly
bathed, looked well fed, not only on blood but on Eva’s sex, and was focused on
me. I was still in the infirmary,
having just recovered from my ordeal.
“Get up
Damien, it’s time for your punishment.
Xavier is here to see you and to oversee your pain, if not administer it
personally.” Dante said, standing over me.
“You will
not punish him yet, he has not fully healed.” The doctor said sternly.
Dante
looked over at her as I sat up in bed, “It is time, I cannot delay it any
longer.”
Slowly I
got to my feet, “I am ready,” I said softly, looking right at Dante, “and I am
not afraid. I will take my punishment,
I will take what I deserve.”
“I said
no!” She spat.
“Terri, I
will take what I have earned and I will take it now, if that is what must be
done.” I said without looking at her.
She
sighed, “I guess I can’t stop you. Go
on, get out of my infirmary, I’ll see you when you are brought back.” She
looked at Dante, “You’d better not reopen any of his wounds, especially the one
on his shoulder.”
“The
wounds will not be reopened. The
punishment will not be totally physical.
Let’s go Damien.” He said, walking for the door.
I
followed after without a word. I had
found my footing; my body had fully regained its strength.
Terri had a problem with, she didn’t have anything to worry about though, I was
fine. I walked a few paces behind him,
knowing that I was essentially a prisoner awaiting punishment for my crimes.
corridor, he didn’t need to say anything, I knew that I would suffer.
know, and for some reason, I didn’t care.
We stopped in front of one of the guest rooms; I had a feeling that
Xavier was within, my thoughts were confirmed when Dante opened the door.
fire burned in the brick fireplace nearby, the flames lapping at the thick
logs. I bowed deeply as I stepped
inside, Xavier nodded in acknowledgement.
Walking over to stand before him I dropped down into a kneeling
position.
“I am
ready for my punishment Xavier.” I said softly, head bowed in reverence.
He laid a
hand on my head and got to his feet, “Rise and we shall begin.”
Carefully
I got to my feet, Xavier was taller than me and I noticed the difference as I
stood before him, he seemed a monster, a creature out of nightmares, but it was
only my mind playing tricks on me. I
feared him because he was about to administer my punishment.
down my face, my neck. Slowly he began
to lower his face towards mine, hesitating slightly before our lips met.
it’s hot wetness caressing my teeth, my tongue, my lips.
I returned the kiss, unsure of what I should do. I could feel him smile slightly as he gently began to undo the
buttons on my shirt. I stood stalk
still as he slipped my shirt from my body.
Softly he began to run his fingers up my side as he kissed me passionately.
love as he began to brush his fingertips up my chest. I closed my eyes as he began to caress my nipples.
look at him. A smile was upon his face,
his eyes filled with love and something else, something I couldn’t quite
place. Gently he cupped my face in his
hands, gazing into my eyes.
“Young,
beautiful, those are the words that best describe you my dear, sweet, Damien.”
He said with a gentle smile, “You will suffer for your crimes.” As he spoke, a
sudden jolt of what felt like electricity shot through me.
I let out
a quite whimper of pain as it spread through my body, caressing me, drawing me
out of the sweet pleasure he had given to me.
The pain began to grow, spreading outward from his gentle touch, the
careful caress of my face. I screamed
and my legs gave out, Xavier kept me on my feet, holding my face tightly.
grabbed onto his wrists and tried to push him away.
“Remove
your hands my sweet one.” He said, the pain amplified ten fold as I resisted
him. Slowly I complied, becoming the
slave that I so recently was. I stopped
myself from screaming; biting my lip, blood began to flow from the wound, “It
is not wrong for you to scream, do not injure yourself.” He said, stopping the
flow of pain and gently lapping the blood from my chin and lips, “I do not want
you physically injured, at least not yet and not by your hand, it is important
that you do not become more harmed than you already are.
to cease your biting. Promise me you
won’t bite your lip.”
“I
promise.” I whispered.
“Excellent.”
He said with a smile as the pain began again.
I
screamed and he gently lowered me to the ground, his hands unmoving from my
face, the pain never ceasing. I heard
the door open then close again, signaling Dante’s departure.
chance to breath, before amplifying ten fold.
Every nerve in my body created a mass network of pain.
him, gently stroking my head. Softly I
began to cry, the pain lingered, still a part of me. Every move I made ached so I remained still, unmoving in his
arms.
“It hurts.”
I whispered.
“And it
will hurt much more.” He said softly, “We are not finished yet dear one.
crimes. I punish you not only for
running off on your own but for your past crimes as a slave.”
“What did
I do?” I asked softly, “I know what I recently did but didn’t you punish me for
my past?”
“Nothing
and everything. For every matter that
you may not have been punished for. For
everything in your past that you got away with. You are to start this night, this life, with a clean slate.” He
gently brushed his hands through my hair, “Get up, you need to be whipped.” He
said, moving me off his lap. Slowly I
got to my feet, my shoulder throbbed, my body ached, but I complied.
your hands against the wall.” He said, pointing to his left at the wall next to
the fireplace. Slowly I complied,
bracing myself against the bricks, “Take a deep breath, I want you to prepared
for what is to come. Although your body
can quickly heal the damage that I will soon inflict upon you I want you to be
prepared.”
I took a
deep breath in preparation for the coming pain. I expected pain, not the searing heat that came with it.
close by a string of liquid flame. I
screamed, loud and long as another cut was formed followed by that same burning
fire. I didn’t know what he was doing,
could feel nothing except the pain. I
couldn’t think, I couldn’t feel, there was nothing except the fire.
deep into my throat. I let out a cry of
pain as I felt my blood bubble out of me and into his waiting mouth.
my throat and he began to explore the quickly healing wounds.
myself from dropping to my knees, I could hardly keep myself up.
down my sides, drawing me back against him.
He lapped up the rest of the blood on my throat and ran his nails down
my chest, raking the flesh. I let out a
soft cry of pleasure as he ran his fingers around my nipples, stimulating the
flesh. I shuddered against him as he
continued to caress my chest.
“Do you
like this sweet one?” He asked with a soft laugh.
“I can
still feel the pain but the pleasure I am enjoying.” I said soft“My
“My
shoulder burns.”
He
laughed and pulled away, pressing me to the floor as he did so.
seeking a release, it wasn’t given to me.
The wounds on my back had healed completely and Xavier dug his fingers
deep into my back, raking them downward.
The feeling was almost erotic until his nails cut into my flesh, digging
downward and hitting bone. I screamed
as he tore into the muscles of my back.
When he pulled away I heard the soft sucking sounds of him cleaning his
fingers.
“We are
almost finished dear one. On lit little
more to go, your pain is almost done, your suffering almost finished.” He
whispered, I heard him get to his feet and move towards a chair, casually he
sat down, “Once you have healed I will finish.” I slumped to the floor, lying
on my stomach, “Rest now, sleep if you can.
Soon you will be in darkness, I know you would do this willingly but I
do not want you to enjoy this.” He laughed softly. At those words I knew what he had in mind, “Your back is healed I
see. When you awaken you will be back
in the infirmary.” He smiled as he got to his feet.
I closed
my eyes and allowed myself to be taken into darkness. He would be sure that when I awoke my body would ache.
time make it a punishment. ng
conscious would be better for me, as I could serve him fully, but I wouldn’t
suffer as he wished. Only in the beauty
of the dark would he be able to make me suffer. When I awakened I felt drained and a sharp pain spread from my
loins. Hd usd used me, I didn’t doubt
that, but I didn’t know what he had done to make me feel pain, I didn’t want to
know either. With a sigh I turned my
head to look around. I was in the
infirmary, just as Xavier said I would be, but a thick white curtain cut me off
from the outside. Reaching towards the
curtain I let out a soft moan as a jolt of pain spread through my arm, forcing
me to return it to my side. Every
movement was painful but the pain in my loins never ceased, there didn’t seem
to be an end in sight. I looked up at
the ceiling and closed my eyes, attempting to ignore the pain.
back and Terri stepped inside, closing the curtain behind her.
her. There was a bowl of steaming water
in her hands and a white cloth over her arm.
She shook her head and sat the bowl down on a small table before dipping
the cloth into the water. Slowly she
began to clean my body, starting at my neck and working down.
continued to wash me. Not a word passed
her lips and for a moment I thought of asking her why she was cleaning me.
“What are
you doing?” I asked softly.
“You need
to be cleaned up so that I can see if the damage has healed.
healed.” She said, brushing the cloth down my chest.
I winced,
“Do you know what he wants?”
She
laughed, “No, I don’t ask about his affairs, it is none of my concern.
patients.”
I sighed
and closed my eyes, “Very well. I
believe I have suffered enough but if he wishes to see me I cannot stop him.” I
said bitterly.
Finally
she was finished, “Get some rest, I’ll go get Dante. You’re well enough to speak with him.” She said before leaving my
little closed in section of the infirmary.
I shook
my head and closed my eyes, “Oh great and powerful Dante.” I sneered, “Oh come
and see me, hurt me, punish me.” I laughed making my chest hurt, “I’m still
conscious, beat me into submission, destroy the will that I have suddenly
gained, make me into your willing slave, make me belong to you.” I felt as
though I was going mad, my head ached and all I wanted was to be free from the
pain. I didn’t know what I was saying,
I was angry, upset, “Come and hurt me.
Allow me to serve you, let me fulfill your every whim, your every
desire.” I laughed again; I didn’t recognize my own voice.
curtain be pulled aside, “Break my will, I dare you to try.” I was about to
continue on but I heard a quiet laugh.
“You
should mind your tongue my dear Damien.” Dante said with a soft laugh.
“Mind
your own tongue.” I spat, “I have my old will back, I could feel it growing
inside me long before I undertook the challenge.”
Dante
laughed and gently brushed his fingers through my hair.
pain as I tried to escape, “You will learn your place my sweet one.
now like me you are still my property.” He smiled, “I will do what you
asked. I was listening from the
inniinning. I will hurt you, punish you,
beat you into submission, if that is what you want. I will make you serve me willingly. I will break your will, destroy what you have just gained.” I
gasped, “Did you expect something else?
I will take care of you first; make sure that you are in perfect health
before we begin your retraining. You
have served me well for many years and I expect you to continue to do so.
upheld. You willingly bound yourself to
me, you said the words and you meant them.”
I closed
my eyes, “I will resist you, I will resist you.” I whispered.
“You may
resist all you want my sweet one.” He whispered, lowering his lips to mine, “I
actually prefer it if you resist.” He kissed me and I tried to pull away,
between his hands and my pain I was rendered immobile.
mouth, nicking it with his teeth.
Slowly he sucked away the blood, lapping at it with his tongue, “Rest
Damien, I shall see you when you are out of pain.” He said, pulling away
slowly.
I watched
him leave, a look of anger upon my face.
My mind was filled with thoughts of opposing my creator, of ways to make
his job more difficult. What had
happened to me? Why were these thoughts
bombarding my senses? I had never had
thoughts like these, never wanted to do what I was thinking.
master and creator and I would do so.
“I will
not do as you demand.” I said before closing my eyes and falling asleep.
I slept
for what felt like days. I awoke when
Dante came for me. It was the feeling
of a ridding crop biting into my chest.
I tried to pull myself up but all I got was the sound of creaking
leather. I realized that I wasn’t in
the infirmary anymore, no warm blankets covered me, there was only the cold,
hard press of a metal table and the black leather that held me down.
down again. I was shocked; I didn’t
understand what was going on. Then it
hit me; he was doing exactly what I wished him to, or more like what I told him
to.
“Stop!” I
screamed.
My cries
for release only made him bring the crop down harder. Each stroke carefully placed to create a crisscross pattern on my
chest. I struggled against my bonds,
hoping that I could break them, they were too strong, I couldn’t even get them
loose.
“I am
giving you what you wanted, I am beating you into submission.
you rather I continue with this?” He smiled at me, that wicked smile that said
he was enjoying this, “Answer me.” He said as the crop crashed down upon my
upper legs.
“Please,
just stop.” I sobbed.
He sighed
and sat the crop aside, “Stop your sniveling, you can take more damage than
this!” He crossed his arms over his chest, “You asked to be beaten into
submission. Even I know that you are no
where near that.” He laughed, “I enjoy seeing you struggle, it is not something
that I get to enjoy very often.” I strained against the leather straps that bound
my arms and legs. The one across my waist
I knew I couldn’t escape from but the others I hoped, “You cannot escape.” He
said, snapping a leather strap over my neck, stretching it upward.
head immobile, “You will remain still for me, won’t you?” He asked sweetly.
I could
hardly find my voice but I managed to speak, “Yes.” I croaked.
He smiled
and removed the strap from around my waist, “I am going to release you now
but,” He paused, “you will wear a collar.
You do not know your place and humiliation would be good for you.
leave you tied up for awhile longer.”
“This
collar?” I asked softly.
He shook
his head, “No, you will not be subjected to that. I do not want you to be completely uncomfortable.” He smiled,
“And you will not wear a shirt or shoes.
You will remain here and allow every vampire here over the age of five
hundred to have access to your body.
You belong to me and by doing this without question you will be
fulfilling your pact. Perhaps I will
not have to beat you into submission after all.”
I glared
at him, “I will not give myself over to anyone who desires my body.” I spat, “I
will do everything else but I will not do that.”
His eyes
narrowed, “Very well. You do not have
to perform in that manner but you will not speak with Eva if you see her, you
will not touch her, you will not have contact with her, am I understood?”
I closed
my eyes, “Yes, I understand.” I said as he removed my bonds, “I do not like it
but I understand. I will do as you say,
as long as you remove this collar.” I growled as he un-strapped my legs.
replace it with a smaller leather one.
There was no hook for a leash, which was a relief for me, but I felt a
sharp pain in the back of my neck, “What is this?” I asked softly.
“A small
spike.” He said as I sat up. Gently he
ran his tongue up my spine, drinking the blood that had trickled down, “You’ll
get used to it.” He gently pulled me against him, “You do realize that you are
mine.”
“You
share a pact with Xavier and he doesn’t treat you this way.”
He
laughed, “He used to. When I was still
in training he did. He did things to me
that are much worse than what I am doing to you. I had my moment of insanity and asked him to beat me.
did. You will learn and until you have
completed your training you will remain under my control.
please, you may even leave me if that is your wish.”
I scowled
and got to my feet, “It hurts.” I mumbled.
“My
Damien, you must be hungry, shall we go hunt or do you simply wish to feed from
one of the slaves?” He asked, walking to the door.
“Well,
according to the conditions you just laid out for me I cannot leave.
shoes.” I said, my voice bitter and upset.
He
laughed, “You may leave only if I accompany you but you must still be without a
shirt, shoes you may wear.”
“Thank
you for your generosity.” I said, my voice filled with sarcasm.
“Mind
your tongue Damien.” His shoulders were tense as he spoke, I could tell that he
wanted to hit me.
I bowed
my head and the spike moved in my neck but I shut out the pain, “I’m sorry.” I
said softly.
“Well,
what is your decision regarding my offer?” He placed his hand on the doorknob
and waited for my response.
I took a
deep breath, “I think that I would prefer to stay here.
“You’ve
done it before, what makes this so different?” He didn’t move from his place at
the door.
I closed
my eyes, “It is not the day and age that it was before.
slaves, it wasn’t an uncommon sight to see people with collars.
you the pleasure of watching me squirm as I am forced to follow you through the
streets.” I said softly.
A
full-throated laugh escaped Dante’s lips, “Very well Damien.
“I don’t
care as long as I get to feed. I am
quite hungry having only fed from your blood.” I spat.
“We shall
see how well you do. The wonderful
thing about being turned into a vampire is this, you gain back that human fear
of blood, even if you were once a slave and got over it, it returns to you.” He
laughed and opened the door, “I’m sure that Sylvia will supply you with the
blood you need.” I scowled and followed him out.