One Foot In

Chapter 11- When Irish Eyes are Smiling

A/N: Big hugs to Owlet for reviewing! It gave me the determination to post this second to last chapter. Again my apologies for the slowness in posting, my fanfics get a lot more attention and I tend to spend way too much time working on them…Anyhow, just one more chapter to post.


I went to the dojo to work out. I still stubbornly believed that I had a right to go there no matter if the place were riddled with my husband’s associates and spies. I had a good, relaxing workout that left me feeling like I had jelly for arms and legs. I also loved that feeling of “okay now catch me when I collapse”. I showered and decided that now was the time to treat myself to a Venti (huge) sized cup of Stars cos coffee. I earned it. I was Queen of the Universe, proud boss of my very own Demon of Light. I definitely could indulge in a latte with skim milk with lots and lots of foamy froth on the top. Also, at this time of day, I’d most certainly get the best armchair, which I did.

I was sitting there sprawled out in the overstuffed chair with my feet up on my gym bag, enjoying the peace and quiet of a world no longer in immediate danger of invasion by Demons when from the corner of my eye, I spied him. Who? Three guesses. NO, not Leo, Thor or my Daddy. It was Josh and he was out of breath like he’d been running. Somebody had ratted me out yet again.

He collapsed into the armchair opposite me and I continued to sip my nectar of the Gods.

“Cindy, you are a hard women to get a hold of.”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve been out of town a lot. Are you okay, you seem out of breath?”

“I’m not okay. I miss you. I love you and I want you to forgive me and marry me.”

Right there and then he got down on his knee and produced one of the largest rocks I’ve seen without being gaudy (I mean, if it’s on my hand how could it ever be gaudy?) I opened my mouth to protest, but he stopped me with a deep kiss. Since I was sprawled in the chair at the time, it also meant his achieving more than the usual amount of body contact associated with a kiss. He was on top of me and pressing his advantage. I moaned and my traitorous hands reached to touch him. His biceps and hair, his neck and face were all on the list of things I missed and suddenly were feeling again. Oh Josh, I had missed you!

When he ended the kiss, I saw there were tears in his eyes. Now a lot people think that all actors must be touchy feely types because of what they can do on stage or in front of the camera. Not Josh, he doesn’t cry. He doesn’t know how to cry unless it’s on cue, but here he was on the verge of tears and it was tearing my heart out. The problem was, was it on cue?

“Josh? What are you trying to do?”

“I’m begging you to forgive me and come back. I’ve been going mad. I tried to find you at Sadies, but she would not let me see you and some madman nearly broke my ankle throwing me out.

“Cindy, I’ve gone into therapy. Twice a week! My therapist thinks it would be good if you came with me. I’ll rearrange my shooting schedule, anything. Just please try it. Even if it’s to,” and here he gave a little sob, “just help with closure on our relationship.”

Holy fuck, he was crying. My Josh was a big boy and he never cried. He had Irish machismo crawling out his ears. He had three larger brothers and they all terrorized each other while growing up. My Josh was crying and I fell in love with him all over again. Of course, I wasn’t going to tell him that. I couldn’t. He’d cheated on me. He’d befouled our relationship. He didn’t know that blowjobs most definitely do count!

I stared at him in horror as his took out a handkerchief and blew his nose.

“You okay, Josh?”

“Do I look okay, Cindy? I’m having a crisis here. The shit has hit the fan. My whole career could end and I don’t care if I can only have you back.”

My mind was going a mile a minute. I was not picking up anything with my Joshua Patented Bullshit Detector. All I saw was the man I’d loved for seven years in pain. Pain I was causing him in return for him hurting me. But now we were even, weren’t we? I’d had a werewolf and a demon. That was bound to be worth at least a half dozen slutty actresses.

“I don’t know Josh.” I knew. I was putty already, but I couldn’t show it.

“Cindy, just come once. You don’t like the therapist, you can leave and I’ll finish out the session without you. Just stay a few minutes even.”

I looked at him and I didn’t want to see him leave. So I acted like I was thinking about it. I sipped my latte and played with the long, wooden stirring stick. Josh sat there like a penitent, like it was Saturday and he was in his confessional.

“Okay, Josh. Tell me when to be there and where.” I hated saying it because then he would leave. In fact, I had been quite sure he was usually at taping at this time. He looked up and met my eyes. He didn’t even look triumphant, just grateful.

“Josh, aren’t you suppose to be at the studio?”

“I ducked out. They will shoot around me.”

“No they won’t. They’ll fire your sorry butt and it will be my fault. Get outta here!”

He hastily scribbled the name, location, date and time of the session, gave me a peck on the cheek and ran. I touched the cheek that he kissed. I thought we’d never kiss again anre hre he’d kissed me twice. I had an acute sense of vertigo from the excitement of thinking we might, just might have a chance. My heart had had some time to heal and accept that he’d made a very big mistake in taking me for granted. And I think that the worst of the pain was from the fact that he seemed to think he could get away with it.

I only hoped that I had made my point. Yes, there might be a second chance, but it would be his final one.


I showed up to the counseling session 30 seconds late. I knew because I’d set my watch before I left and then waited down stairs until I was quite sure that early was a physical impossibility. The therapist, Ms. Meyers, was a sweet heart. Warm and friendly, it was almost impossible not to like her. She laid down some guidelines and before I knew it, I was screaming at Josh like a fishwife. It also came out that I had now gone and evened the score. Josh was devastated and I relished the look on his face for all of about two seconds before I felt like shit.

Of course, then it was war and every little peccadillo either of us had was thrown out like we were first graders. Ms. Meyers beamed and said it was good that we were both artistic and were able to express ourselves and before I knew it, I was committed to the next therapy session. In between the sessions there wasn’t much to do. The building on 17th St. was as quiet as the crypt and I had the distinct impression that everyone had gone back to Folkland to try and get things back to normal again. It was kind of creepy. y bay bank account had for some reason, magically renewed itself and I wasn’t going to bother putting out a trace on where the extra money had come from. I don’t know, I’m just superstitious that way. But it gave me the freedom to actually do enough karate to advance a new color in the belts. Yeah, maybe it was Josh influencing the Sensei, but frankly, I don’t even think St. Peter had leverage with that man.

I also started doing auditions again. I didn’t bother with a new look because I realized, I liked the way I all ready looked. Maybe that in and of itself helped. Before I knew it we had another session together and this time things really heated up. I started finding out what Josh had been looking for outside our relationship, and it hurt. And then I was supposed to tell him why I had gone and had a couple of affairs. Well, I couldn’t very well explain that my father was the warlord of the Elfish. And I didn’t dare go into detail about werewolves who wanted to marry me, or really interesting beings from other dimensions. So I just told the truth. That what was good for the goose was good for the gander. And if he couldn’t keep it in his pants, well, I was going for some fun as well.

Was it good? He asked. Terrific! And how would you be willing to describe love making with Josh? Asked Ms. M. Was it dull, boring? Familiar? Yes, it’s fun stepping outside of a relationship. Maybe I should have done it more often.

Did we want an open relationship? I would have said yes, but Josh blew a fuse. He wanted the old me back. He wanted the me he could trust, the girl who would never even think of looking at another man-- The woman who worshipped and idolized him so much that he could get away with anything. Because that was what had happened, I had loved him too much and he couldn’t accept it. The rat!

It seemed at that point in therapy that there was no use in continuing. I’d changed. He had too, but didn’t like it. He was really in deep despair over that fact that he’d had a good thing and had ruined it. And even if I did come back to him, I’d always have the scent of two other men on me. Arrgh. I screamed. Was I supposed to tolerate the fact that he’d done stuff with twice that amount of partners that I had, but he saw me as the fallen woman. It was at that point that things were simply dissolving. It was Paradise Lost for both of us.

I don’t know why we even bothered to come to that third session. Stubborn as mules we were. But he showed up and I did, too. And I kept feeling this fluttering in my chest, like a little bird was trying to get out. He’d shoot looks at me and I’d not know what they meant. He was so miserable. Well, we managed somehow to stumble through the session. This time though, instead of simply going our separate ways, he asked me out to dinner. When? That night and some dancing, but only if I was feeling up to it.

I went home and got dressed in my best formal outfit and we met at a very nice upscale restaurant, which also boasted a live band. Not one of those noisy rock and roll type bands, but an old-fashioned nostalgia type one. He ordered my favorite foods in order to impress me that he did know me after all these years and then he had the band play one of our songs. He swept me onto my feet and danced me around the room. It was a soap opera moment with one of the hottest stars to come to the network in a while and he made me feel like I was on top of the world. He held me close and maneuvered us in his domineering and masculine way. I let myself accept his lead. I breathed in his expensive aftershave and felt the hard muscles of his body trembling next to mine. I knew I would be with him that night. I tried not to let it show, and I have to admit his self-control was admirable in letting me finish all the Death by Chocolate dessert.

We danced two more times and each time thncinncing was a little slower and closer. Eventually I could feel his hardened penis up against my thigh and I knew it was time to go home. Still, I wasn’t going to tell him that. He paid by credit card, American Express, I noted and he headed out to the street with me. There was an awkward pause.

“Cindy, I don’t want to ruin things by moving too quickly. However, I’d enjoy it if we could, could…”

Josh was not being his usual smooth self. He was choking and again I was shocked and moved by it. I reached up my hand and put my fingers over his mouth.

“Let’s go home.” And he kissed me hard and deep, right there in front of the restaurant. Eventually someone said, “Get a room,” and we broke apart. Josh ran into the traffic and haled a cab, offering double on the meter if were got there in less than five minutes. I’d always wanted to use that line. We held hands the whole way back to our mile high home in the sky. The cabbie made it and got his double fare plus a hefty tip.

We looked at each other like a pair of teenagers on a first date. The elevator came and we got on, wordlessly, each wondering if this would be able to work. He opened the door and I saw the place hadn’t changed. I don’t know what my fantasy would have been, that some bimbo would have moved in the next day and totally redecorated the place, stamping her mark on it forever. It had been less than a month since our colossal fight which had lead him to “helping” me on my way. I flinched from the painful memory and he must have been watching because he gently put his arms around me.

“I hurt you, and when I do that I hurt myself twice. I was so guilty and I was so pissed off over being caught that I just took it out on you. You never deserved that treatment. I’m sorry. I want to spend every moment of my life making it up to you.”

My tears were falling now. I was cursing myself for crying. I thought we’d come back here for a night of hot sex, not round four of the infidelity who-got-hurt-more games that we played in therapy. He started kissing my tears away and then he was breathing kind of funny, like I wasn’t sure if he was ready to cry or jump my bones.

“Oh crap, I’m ruining it by crying. This isn’t very romantic.” I sobbed out. And he picked me up and sat me down on his lap.

“No, you cry as much as you want. This isn’t about sex-- it’s about us. I’ll wait for you. Take whatever time you need. I just wanted to be with you and hold you tonight. This is all that I want, Cindy.”

And that, of course, made me cry even more. I couldn’t understand when my rough and ready Irishman had ever become a poet. He held my face between his hands and kissed me. Slimey, tear covered me!

Well, it was fine for him to wait for me, but the aching between my legs was telling me that I was ready for him and needed him. I sucked his lower lip into my mouth and tasted him. I heard him moan and I wanted to make him beg for me to take him. I wanted to be back in our bed with him on top of me, thrusting harder and harder until I screamed his name and tore his skin under my nails. I wanted things to be that intense and animalistic, because it had been a long time and I was ready for him.

I undid his shirt and I heard him swallow. It was a small, gentle sound but it meant so much to me. It meant that he was sincere and maybe this would not be a bullshit thing, but real and the start of a genuine, not fake relationship, where he wouldn’t be dicking around behind my back. It might mean there’d be some respect now, because he knew I’d leave him in a heartbeat if he ever pulled that crap again and hurt me like that. And I had made it oh so clear that I didn’t care if we were married and had a dozen kids, if he cheated on me it would be a lawyers office and him paying alimony and child support. I think I had him scared then, I think I’d finally reached him and made him understand that this wasn’t the naïve little Cindy White who loved him so much that it had never ever crossed her mind that he could cheat.

I touched his nipples lightly with the tips of my fingers, teasing and coaxing them into hard little points. I knew that he was stopping himself from doing the same thing, that tonight was about me and my doing what I wanted to him, even if it were torture. So I played with his tits and then I leaned forward and flicked them with my tongue, I enjoyed the salty tang of his skin. I could smell his cologne but also the fact that it had been some hours since he got ready to see me and he’d been excited while we danced. I could smell all that on him, and it made me sigh and almost swoon, it was so good! I rubbed my nose into the cleft between his well-defined pects and allowed the hair to caress my face.

His hands traveled to my shoulders and kneaded them lightly in tight little circles. Our eyes met again and I saw the tears still there and the honesty that hadn’t been there in so long. I pulled off my shirt and threw off my bra so my breasts could rub against him, giving me the skin to skin contact with him that I had craved all evening. I enjoyed the sounds of him, first the groan that happened as I pressed my breasts to him and then the sharp inhalation of breath as I trailed my hands down to his thighs. I knew what I wanted. I wanted him, his manhood, cock, penis, triumphant one-eyed warrior; I wanted them all between my breasts with his tip in my mouth. And he knew it. That was the advantage of our years together, no surprises, although I had planned a few, still he knew that I liked the sensation of his satiny cock rubbing up and down between my breasts with my tongue taunting and tantalizing him with every single stroke.

I rubbed my breasts against his trousers and he involuntarily thrust himself against me.

“Oh God, Cindy, what you do…” I saw that there were beads of perspiration on his upper lip. I lifted myself so that I could lap off the salty moisture, just as I was sure to be tasting some other salty body fluids soon.

I tucked my fingers into the waistband of his trousers and made contact with his cock, cliché or not, straining to be released. Of course, I could have stopped there, and tested him to see if he really was willing to just stop. I didn’t think he’d have that control. If I hadn’t kept going, if I hadn’t made it clear that my intention was to keep going, I was sure he would have lost all control and taken me right there. As it were, he allowed me to continue being in charge. He trusted me that having gone this far, I would take him all the way. I reached down and slipped off his loafers. I smiled remembering that he hated lace up shoes and that for him the ultimate in humiliate was a broken shoelace. If it had laces, he just wouldn’t buy them. Feet free of encumbrances, I continued to on his trousers. I found the button and undid it and then slowly and careful unzipped him, mindful of just how large and swollen he was!

Just then, his hands went to my breasts. He massaged one and then the other, slightly tweaking them, and I moaned in response. He was steeling my fire, letting me know that he too, could be a player here. I smiled at him and briefly shook my head before removing him from his restrains. My breathing went faster because his manhood was so beautiful. Its hot satiny surface was tempting me to give it my full attention and I didn’t want him to distract me from my mission.

I stroked him with one hand while pinching my breast. The sight of my self-stimulation caused him to harden and swell even further in my hand. I loved him and I loved his member. I brought my breasts over to him and pressed his penis between them. I loved the sensation of velvet hardness and I brought my mouth down and around his tip. I tasted his pre-cum and loved it. He was so delicious to me.

I took him even deeper in my mouth. I loved the smell and the flavor and the texture of him. I loved the fact that I had done this hundreds, maybe in thousands of times in our past seven years and it always excited me so much that I could cum just by licking him. His breath was sporadic now and I knew he was about to blow. I stood up and nodded towards our bed. Our Bed. He followed me and I peeled off my skirt and my soaking wet underwear as we walked. He hadn’t made the bed. Knowing him, the slob, I had to wonder if it had been made even once since I left. Would I smell my own perfume there on the sheets or some others? It scared me to think of it and I tried hard to put it out of my mind.

“Josh.” I laid back, now naked and extended my arms out to him. He made a throaty growl and embraced me. He started to kiss me all over, no thought left of our previous game. He just wanted to make love to me and I relaxed for a little while and let him. I didn’t touch him at all, knowing that he needed this time for the stimulation to calm down and for him to be able to last a bit longer. He tongued my nipples causing them to pebble and I again found myself gasping. Then he did something I didn’t expect, he brought his fingers down and began to play with my clit while tenderly sucking on my tit. My hips thrust up against his touch and I thought I’d be coming in no time. He smiled at me and stopped.

“I always wanted to see if that would get a rise out of you.”

I hit him and he then shocked me by lowering his face down to my sex. He lifted my legs over his shoulders and he started to eat me. He kept pressing down on my hips so I couldn’t just fly away from him, because that was what my hips seemed to want to do, just fly away in ecstasy. I didn’t ask myself who had taught this to him. I pray he’d picked it up from therapy. I could see the therapist now, “You mean you never went down on Cindy? And you call yourself a decent lover.” And I could imagine how he’d blush and say, “Well, they just don’t teach that in soap opera technique class.” And he’d be right. Almost nothing ever kinky happens in the soaps. Maybe they do it in a bathtub or shower once and a while, but everything is kept in a fuzzy focus.

So he was working it. His tongue was darting in and out of my cunt, making me want sometime much larger to fill me up down there, and then that old tongue would travel up to my clitoris and do marvelous things. Finally I grabbed him by the hair and just kept his mouth on my nub as I ground myself onto him. He pulled back and gave me a look like, ‘no fair’. But I didn’t want to play fair anymore. It was every man/woman for him/herself.

“I want you in me, now.” His eyes lit up and he kissed me hard while maneuvering that beautiful piece of flesh over my entrance. I lifted my hips to meet him and he sunk himself into me hard and fast. I screamed with the pleasure and with the excitement of the sensation of suddenly being completely filled up.

He waited a moment to let me adjust and for him to settle down so he wouldn’t come too quickly, and then we started again. I sunk my nails into this back and thrust my hips up time and again to meet him. I was panting like an animal in heat, sometimes sobbing because it all just felt too damn good. It felt great beyond measure. Our bodies harmonized, synchronized, you name it. It was just heaven. He pounded into me and I continued to return the thrusts. It was getting frenzied and I noticed that his hips were now gyrating as well. I was climbing to the big O and gritted my teeth and began to grip his cock in my cunt, stroking him and forcing him right into the good spot every time.

He went harder and then groaned. I felt him spurting inside of it and it was just the impetus for my muscles to start contracting and for me to explode into a ball of white. I scratched his back while ramming myself onto him as quickly as I could. Finally, the climax began to subside and we lay there in a puddle of our own juices.

We fell asleep intertwined with each other, and it felt totally natural, like we’d been doing this for years, which we had of course. I woke up just before dawn and grabbed my pillow. It still smelt like my own pillow. No other woman’s scent had been there. Never was I so grateful for my Josh being a slovenly housekeeper. I watched him sleep and more tears came. I loved him. Had loved him for a long time and I prayed that he really did mean it when he said that my love was returned. I mean why the hell go through all of this if he wasn’t sincere?

He woke with a beautiful smile on his face. “Come here you,” he said. And I scooted into his arms. He rubbed his face in my hair.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” He held me and looked into mes. es. “Forgive me.”

Was I supposed to? I guess so, because before I knew it we were at it again. Sex that is. And then we were having breakfast out at our favorite place. It was as if the past few weeks had never happened.

Over breakfast he asked if I’d be willing to consider moving back in. This hadn’t even come up in our therapy sessions yet. We were barely walking and he wanted us back on the skateboard. I said, yes, because I couldn’t imagine not saying it.wantwanted to go back to my life, my apartment and my Josh. We took a cab to the funny little building and we went up the stairs. It was quiet, just like the whole place was empty. And I packed my stuff and left a message for Sadie saying that Josh and I were back together again.

I took one last look around the apartment. I wondered what would happen if I knock on Leo’s door and realized it wouldn’t be pretty. We left and my life went back on its normal course.