Rogue Made

Chapter 9

I bolted upright, taking in a sharp breath of air as my body was instantly filled with panic. Where was I? Were Deni and Mikal and Rivaini all right? Did the village survive? Did anyone die? What was going on? Someone gasped in the room and I looked around wildly. What was going on?

“She’s awake!” A small voice I recognized a moment later as Deni’s echoed around me. I tried to focus, but on what? Why was I in Bann’s house? My head ached and swam with stray thoughts and emotions. I suddenly longed to kiss Ellery deeply and a second later I wanted to hit him. My brain fluttered around, trying to figure out what needed to be in the forefront.

“Auntie Crickie!” Mikal flew at me from the corner and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back, still unsure of what was going on. Where was everyone? Where was Ellery? And Rivaini?

"You’re awake.” The woman stood in the doorway, breathless and smiling. I blinked.

"Cricket is very confused.” I croaked out. My voice sounded like it had been attacked with all the knives in the village at the same time. I began coughing and was still coughing by the time Bann and Iain were in the room. Everyone waited patiently for me to finish my fit.

"How are you feeling, my dear?” Bann asked me. I gave him a look.

"Thank you so much for saving my family.” Iain held my hand and squeezed it gently. “I owe you a life debt.”

"The Serannas family has a habit of owing Cricket life debts.” I replied. Deni pulled himself onto my lap and I draped an arm around him.

"It’s not our fault you keep saving our lives.” Bann smiled.

"It’s not Cricket’s fault that they keep getting put in life or death situations.” The group around me laughed and warmth flooded my stomach. It was like being with my family. This family was the only family I had anymore. The feeling lasted for a good ten seconds before my stomach dropped and hardened. Why wasn’t Ellery here?

"When you attacked the majik wall, the Rogues turned and had a panic attack.” Rivaini explained. “They started firing at us right when you broke the wall. They missed and some of them collapsed in pain when the wall cracked. We rode past the wall and Solphi and Andri stopped behind the barricade just like you said they would. Ellery ran out after you and saved you from the Rogues. They retreated soon after the wall broke, I assume to take care of their wounded.”

“Where is he?” I asked. Rivaini’s face instantly turned from relief to anger. All the faces around me were furious. Even my two little nephews were mad. I waited for an answer.

“He,” Iain said tightly, “Won’t be coming.” My heart stopped. He was with Eliza. But, we had made up, hadn’t we? I had unconsciously forgiven him long before but I finally had forgiven him completely when he didn’t leave my side for an entire night. He didn’t shy away from his feelings for me. I knew I felt… something for him. My gaze paused on Iain, whose arm was wrapped around Rivaini shoulders. It wasn’t their proximity to each other that made me stop, but the way their eyes glittered with unconscious happiness when they were near each other.

Love. I gently pushed Deni and Mikal away from me and they sat on the end of the bed watching me silently. I loved Ellery. Why? He lied to me. He was completely different around me alone and in the light of day would shove me away. He was arrogant and immature and a jerk! But, I longed for him. He treated me normally. Like I didn’t speak oddly. Like I wasn’t a Rogue. Like I wasn’t an abomination. Like I was a person. I longed for the respect he had just started showing me. For his love. I wanted what Iain and Rivaini had. He saved me from the Rogues, but he also owed me two life debts, one now, so he had a motive. And where did Eliza fit in?

“We are all angry at him, Cricket.” Bann assured me.

"She’s not angry.” Rivaini said, sitting next to me and hugging me tightly. I buried my face in her arm and struggled with agony in my chest. I wasn’t sure why I wanted to sob hysterically or why I wanted to curl into a ball and never leave it. I didn’t want to hate Ellery, even though he was with Eliza. I didn’t want to fight him. I just wanted him to love me. It hurt to want so much. I didn’t want to cry, but it hurt to keep it in. I had to stop the pain.

"Da? Why is Auntie Crickie crying?” Mikal asked. I sobbed into Rivaini’s arm, trying to make the pain go away.

"Because Uncle El is being a jerk.” Iain said.

“It’s okay.” Rivaini whispered to me, rocking us gently and rubbing my back. “You’re allowed to cry.”

“Mikal, Deni, let’s go make lunch.” Bann said, pulling Deni into his arms. “And we can decide how we’re going to get back at Uncle El for making Auntie Crickie sad.”

"Oh, maybe we could burn his toast!” Mikal said, happily. Their voices faded as they wandered down the hall. Rivaini rocked me gently, whispering soothingly into my hair.

"Don’t worry, Cricket. This isn’t the first time we’ve helped Ellery see the error of his ways.” Iain said to me. “Hopefully, it will be the last.” I didn’t want to pay attention to anything. I just wanted to cry. It eased the pain in my chest and kept me from think about Ellery. I don’t know when I stopped crying, but the next thing I remembered was waking up to the smell of burnt bacon and burnt coffee.

"You should eat something.” Iain said from the doorway. Rivaini was gone and I was curled around a pillow in Ellery’s bed. I was caked in dried mud that was flaking off all over the covers. Iain noticed my gaze and waved it away. “You can clean up later.”

"They decided to burn food?” I asked, my voice sounding even worse than it had before.

“It’s our silent payback for him being a bastard.” Iain grinned. I quirked an eyebrow at him. The pain had dulled slightly, but the ache was constant. “He should be home at any time. We have an evil plan. He’ll know what’s going on.”

“Will he be mad?”

“No, he’ll be annoyed.” Iain shrugged as if it was inconsequential. “Come eat something.” I followed him down to the kitchen, where Rivaini was plating properly made food and laughing at her two children.

"Get down off the table.” Bann smiled. “Mind your manners.”

“Auntie Crickie!” My nephews threw themselves at me and I caught them with practiced ease. “We made dinner!”

“Auntie Crickie can tell that Papi helped.” I laughed. Bann shot me a glare and Rivaini laughed. “Auntie Crickie can also tell that Mum salvaged it.”

“Let’s dig in while it’s still hot. It may be spring time, but it’s still chilly.” Iain announced. Loudly and obnoxiously, the family settled down at the table and began eating. Mikal was in the middle of one of his mostly falsified stories when Ellery walked in. Everyone stopped and stared. He looked around, as if confused why we would be staring, and he saw me.

“Cricket!” He sounded pleased, and even took a step towards me.

“The food is on the counter.” Iain said his voice icy. Ellery flinched and stopped moving towards me.

"The children made it especially for you.” Rivaini added coldly. She was being ridiculously clever. It was true that Mikal and Deni made the dinner for Ellery, but Ellery would do anything for them, including eating a burnt dinner. Ellery walked to the counter and his face froze. My gaze found a bruise on his neck. Rivaini obviously saw it, too, because her knuckles turned white as her fingers clenched her fork tightly. Ellery sat down across from me and bowed his head, eating the horrible, lukewarm food quietly and quickly. The room was filled with awkward silence. Even my nephews were quiet, and I knew what the evil plan was.

"Well, it’s getting late. The children should go to school.” Rivaini said, standing from her seat and gathering plates. The school consisted of a one-room building and each age group had class all day once a week. All the children were allowed to go home for lunch before returning for more class.

"Yes, Mum.” That was what clued Ellery into the fact that he was being played. Mikal never agreed to going to school. Deni didn’t make a fuss, but he would move as slow as possible in rebellion against it. Ellery shot a searching look at his sister-in-law, but Rivaini was stoic as she took the dishes to the sink.

"Please take the children to school, Bann.” Rivaini’s parents had died long before and Bann had become a father for her. Just like he was becoming one for me.

“Of course.” Bann stood up. “Come along, boys.” The trio left the room quietly.

“Cricket will help Rivaini with the dishes.” I whispered before standing and joining her at the sink.

“I’ll go fetch some firewood.” Iain offered, leaving the room as well. Ellery sat, alone at the table, watching us as we cleaning the dishes. It was the most awkward several minutes I had ever experienced.

"So, what’s the deal, Rivaini?” Ellery asked, finally.

“I don’t know what you mean, Ellery.” The woman replied, not turning around.

“Why am I being subjected to the silent treatment and burnt food?” Ellery asked.

“Why?” Rivaini mocked him, turning and leaning against the counter. “I’m sure you know why, Ellery.”

“I had no choice!” Ellery snapped. “I owe him a life debt!”

"No, you owe Cricket a life debt!” Rivaini yelled. “Your life debt to him ended when you married Cricket. He gave it to her.”

“Rivaini, he said he would get everyone to stop hurting her.” Ellery said.

“And if I said that the shiny flecks in the river were gold, you would start panning the river, wouldn’t you?” Rivaini rolled her eyes. “He cannot be trusted, especially after what he did to our family.”

“We’re not technically married.” Ellery said softly. “She’s not part of the family. And so my life debt to Janjua isn’t hers.”

“Really?” Rivaini crossed her arms. “So, all those months in the cabin, and the arguments that you two had, and all the frustration you experienced with her makes her absolutely nothing to you, is that it?”

“I didn’t say that!” Ellery stood up.

"You say that you care about her well-being, but as soon as you had the opportunity, you left her. When she woke up, she was alone. Can you imagine what that must have felt like? Not to mention the fact that the night before, you two were trying to fix the rift between you.”

“She hates me! She will never forgive me!”

"Not while you keep being a two-faced dog!”

“I’m trying to help!”

"By kissing up to the man who abused her? By letting Eliza get close enough to you that she could mark you?”

“It was an accident!” Ellery’s hand flew to his neck. “And I don’t let her do anything! I would never talk to her again if I could have my way!”

“Ellery Serannas, you are so full of it, right now. You are as bad as Mikal.”

“I’m telling the truth. Cricket will never forgive me!”

“Cricket is standing right here.” Everything stopped. My voice was quiet, but the words came right before Rivaini could yell at Ellery. I watched in silence long enough. My eyes met Ellery’s and he flinched. “If Ellery would like to know Cricket’s feelings, he only has to ask.”

“Cricket, I –”

“Cricket is not done yet.” I interrupted. He clamped his mouth shut. “She doesn’t know what to do. Ellery is always gone, always pushing away. And yet, he wants forgiveness.”

“Cricket –”

“Ellery had Cricket’s forgiveness. He saved her life, so his life debt is fulfilled. Cricket does not wish to hurt Ellery’s ego anymore, so she will go back to the way things were. She will avoid Ellery and not talk to him. She is not Ellery’s keeper, and will not in any way prevent him from doing what he wishes, whether it be with Eliza or the man who raised her. Her only request is that she might stay ‘Auntie Crickie’ for Mikal and Deni.”

Ellery looked as though he had been slapped in the face. I stared at him and tried not to cry. My chest throbbed with pain and my heart leapt to my throat. A long, agonizing silence pulled tears from my eyes. His eyes widened when he saw the tears streak throat the mud on my face and his lips parted as if he would speak. I didn’t want to listen. I dipped my head and started to walk out of the kitchen, hiding the tears as much as I could with my hair. Ellery stopped me, holding my shoulders in his hands, despite the caked mud.

“Cricket has nothing more to say to Ellery.” I said.

“But what about the Rogues?” Ellery asked. I looked up, startled. What did they have to do with this?

“They’re using ancient majik.” I replied. How did I know this? “They are going to tear the mountain down from under us by calling on the spirits of the Rogues that were taken all those years ago. They never received a proper Rogue burial and are angry.”

“Cricket!” Ellery held me tightly on the kitchen floor. That kept happening to us. I didn’t want him that close to me. Well, I did, but not if he would take it away from me later.

“What’s going on?” Rivaini was kneeling beside us, white-faced and terrified. “What was she talking about?”

“She has visions of what will occur.” Ellery said. “She’s never wrong, but the events can be changed by making different choices.”

“What do you mean?” Rivaini asked.

“Cricket told me that she saw me getting shot in the chest.” Ellery explained. “She pulled me off Resa and I got shot in the thigh instead.” He continued, clutching me tighter even as his hand rubbed soothing circles on the base of my neck.

“So, what was she saying?” Rivaini asked.

“I don’t know.” Ellery replied. “She collapses and starts convulsing, sparking, and mumbling in another language.”

“I saw that much!” Rivaini snapped. “What did she See?”

“They’re going to bring the mountain down using ancient majik and the spirits of the tribe Janjua killed.” I interjected, shoving myself away from Ellery and stumbling to my feet.

“Are you okay?” Ellery asked, holding onto my elbow to steady me.

“No!” I snapped, ripping myself out of his hold. “Everyone treats me as though I’m not there and then you talk about me as though my opinions don’t matter, and now, my real family is using my dead family to kill my new family and I’m stuck in the middle and have to save the lives of a village who hates me, an ex-husband who cheated on me, and a father who abused me, all the while keeping the people who were wronged happy and I might just have to sell myself to them in order to keep them that way, not even mentioning that I love you and you don’t even care!”

Ellery stared at me, shocked. Rivaini looked proud. I shoved myself away from Ellery and glowered at him. He opened his mouth, trying to defend himself, or apologize or whatever, but I was in no mood to deal with it. I didn’t have time. I couldn’t deal with my personal problems when I had people’s lives to save. Pain stabbed through my chest as I walked away.

“Cricket?” I ignored Iain, who was walking in the building with a pile of wood. I just wanted Ellery to love me. If I had someone on my side, someone who truly cared, I would be able to handle it better. But I had no one. I plucked a towel from the closet and walked down the hill to the river. I heard people start yelling in the kitchen as soon as I left. With any luck, they would be done by the time I got back. I didn’t want to deal with any of it.

---

“I hope he figures it out.” Bann waited for me on the front porch, as I made my way up the hill, now cleaned of all mud.

“Who figures what?” I asked.

“Ellery needs to figure out that you’re honest. You really do love him. Everyone’s known it for a while now. Even Ellery. And Ellery loves you, too.”

“Cricket finds that hard to believe.” I replied.

“Ellery doesn’t know how to let people in.” Bann explained. “It took the birth of Mikal for him to acknowledge his familial love for Rivaini. He was helping her carry the groceries home when she went into labor. Luckily, they had been passing the bridge, and Ellery carried Rivaini and all the groceries to the Janjua house.” I had heard the story before. Memaw had helped deliver the baby. I had been in Bann’s stables, training his horses when it happened.

“What does this have to do with Ellery’s feelings for Cricket?” I asked.

“When it comes to his heart,” Bann smiled, “Ellery’s an idiot. Just be patient, Cricket. He’ll come around eventually.”

“Eventually being the key word.” I replied. Bann laughed.

“So, I heard everything.” He sobered instantly.

“Cricket is sorry she told Ellery she might have to sell herself to the Rogues.” I bowed to him, repentant. Bann jerked back, surprised.

“I completely forgot about that promise. It’s all right, my dear, I’m not angry. I was actually thinking about your vision.” He said, standing up from the rocking chair.

“Cricket doesn’t know when it will happen.” I said. “She also doesn’t know how Bann will convince the village that what she saw was truth, because they will never believe Cricket.”

“Leave that to me.” Bann frowned. “I have just as much power and influence as I’ve ever had, and people are coming to realize you’re not going to kill us all. Especially now that you’ve saved Rivaini and the children.”

“Won’t someone just paint it as Cricket being deceptive?” I asked.

“As if you could only get through the wall because you’re Rogue or that it was all an act to make the village trust you?” Bann asked. I nodded. He sighed heavily before continuing. “You have to understand the people of this village. When someone bleeds for someone else or saves their life, that’s the highest honor one can commit. I will simply point out that slandering our life debts is shameful and goes against everything this village stands for. People will shut up.”

“Cricket is thankful.” I murmured.

“Don’t worry about the politics.” Bann put an arm around my shoulders. “They’re for old, cranky men who like to argue, not for beautiful, young ladies who should be out dancing.”

“Cricket hasn’t danced since the wedding.” I replied.

“That is a crime.” Bann looked shocked. “You are the most talented dancer in the village.”

“Cricket has been preoccupied.” I shrugged.

“Ellery didn’t ask you to dance for him when you two were alone all winter?” Bann looked outraged. “My son is a damn fool. No matter, there is a celebration tonight over our victory.”

“They retreated.”

“A victory nonetheless!” Bann interrupted me. He shot me a smile. “We’re simple people, let us have our pride. Plus, no one died and all the injuries were minor, so it’s still a victory. There will be music, dancing, feasting… everything you should be able to enjoy.”

“Cricket’s a social outcast.”

“You’ve always been a social outcast.” Bann gave me a look. “Listen, people will be drunk and merry, and no one will pick a fight with you.”

“Janjua.”

“He’s probably not coming.” Bann winced. “Several villagers already are pointing the victory at your actions, so he’s been a bit cranky.”

“Cricket has nothing to wear.” I said.

“You really don’t want to go, do you?” Rivaini’s voice pulled our attention from the rising sun to the door.

“Cricket’s just…” I sighed. “Not in the mood.”

“And when you are in the mood, there won’t be an opportunity for you.” Rivaini rolled her eyes. “Listen, you will go to the party, you will have fun, and you will relax. You’ve been so worried about the Rogues that you are wound too tight.”

“You’re stressed out.” Bann added. “Go to the party. Live a little. You don’t know when you’ll be able to relax again.”

“Come on.” Rivaini offered her hand to me. “I’m sure Iain’s mother has several appropriate dresses to choose from.”

“What about Rivaini?” I asked, taking her hand. “Cricket won’t go alone.”

“Don’t worry.” Rivaini shot me a wink, pulling me through the house. “Da will look after the boys. And Iain’s grandmother was my size, so we’ll find something that will work for both of us.”

“And Iain?”

“Iain and Ellery are talking.” Rivaini sighed. “It’s their brotherly bond-thing. They trust each other completely and tell each other almost everything.”

“Almost?”

“Well, Iain hasn’t been telling Ellery everything since we got married. I’m his deepest confidant, but he still talks to Ellery and helps him.” She explained. “Sooner or later, Ellery will pull his head out of his butt and realize that you’re more than willing to do the same.”

“Cricket’s not good at solving problems.” I shook my head.

“Really, now?” Rivaini grinned at me. “You, who saved the lives of my children. You, who saved the life of my brother-in-law. You, who saved the lives of the villagers. You, who saved my life. You can’t solve problems?”

“Cricket mostly just improvises.” I sighed. “She just runs in head-first and deals with the consequences later.” Rivaini laughed, happily.

“You are a wonder.” She hugged me. “By the way,” Her face fell, “I wanted to apologize for earlier. I didn’t mean to ignore you or your feelings. I was so focused on Ellery and how stupid he’s being, that I didn’t even think about how you wanted to deal with it.”

“Cricket knows.” I smiled. “Rivaini has only ever done it once.”

“And Ellery?”

“Cricket doesn’t remember.” I shrugged. “But, her step-family did it often, so she’s kind of used to it.”

“So, why did you blow up?”

“Because Cricket’s new family keeps saying that her step-family was completely wrong in how they treated her. When the treatment became the same, Cricket got annoyed.” I explained.

“I think the really expensive clothes are in the attic.” Rivaini grinned at me, mischievously.

“Cricket is sure Bann would be more than willing to share his treasures.” I laughed.

“Right.” Rivaini nodded, stopping at the ladder that led to the attic. “After all, no one will be able to admire them if they’re tucked away.” Laughing, we went into the attic and started looking through the clothes from the past. All were beautiful, and several were very modern for their time, but none of them seemed to match me. Rivaini found a gorgeous chocolate brown dress. Its modest neckline made the dress look more conservative than the long slit up the side made it.

“Rivaini looks amazing.” I smiled.

“If I put my hair up like this,” She modeled it off, “Then Iain will be overprotective all night.”

“Rivaini likes that?” I asked.

“It means he wants to claim me in order to satisfy his manhood, or some other such nonsense. Basically, it means I get sex.” She shrugged. I flushed. “Oh please, Crickie. You know that sex is absolutely amazing. If I didn’t have children, Iain and I would have so much more sex than we actually do right now.”

“Cricket and Ellery didn’t have sex until they were running from the Rogues to get here.” I admitted, trying to calm my blush. It wasn’t working. Rivaini stared at me.

“Really? You guys weren’t that close when you lived together?” She asked. I shrugged.

“Cricket and Ellery would get close.” I said. “A lot. But, Ellery always ran away. When they were running for their lives, there was nowhere for him to run.” Rivaini gaped at me.

“So you two only had sex then and the other night?” She asked. I nodded.

“Nine times total.” Rivaini stared at me.

“Damn¸ you two were busy!” She laughed. I flushed a dark red. “Come on, we need to find you a dress.”

“Cricket’s not sure Rivaini will find anything.” I said. “Cricket’s too small. And, she has no one to be overprotected by.”

“Don’t worry.” Rivaini frowned. “We’re going to make you so gorgeous that Ellery will have no choice but to admit his love for you.”

“Ellery doesn’t love Cricket.” I sighed, rolling my eyes.

“Yes, he does.” Rivaini said. “He’s just an idiot at showing it.”

“Rivaini will never find anything to fit Cricket.” I sighed, watching her dig through the trunks. It seemed Bann kept everything from his long late wife and his mother.

“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch!” Rivaini said triumphantly. “Look what I found!” She pulled out a deep burgundy thing that looked like a piece of cloth. “Put it on!”

“But –”

“No buts!” Rivaini threw it at me. “Put it on, I want to see it.”

Dutifully, I changed into the burgundy dress, piling my clothes next to Rivaini’s. I straightened and began tying the ridiculous number of ties. Rivaini waited calmly next to the mirror, not looking at me, as if she was going to surprise herself. I finished the last tie and turned to her, sighing loudly. She looked at me and her jaw dropped.

“Cricket, you are going to be completely overwhelmed with overprotective Ellery.” She said, grinning. “Just look at yourself!” The dress had a bunched neckline that looked like it plunged lower than it really did and the sides of the dress from under my arms to my hips were tied up with burgundy strings. The skirt was long and flowing, making it possible for every inch of my legs to be seen if I twirled around. Experimentally, I spun around. Yep, every inch.

“Cricket thinks she should change.” My wedding dress didn’t show this much of my skin. At least, I didn’t think it did.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Rivaini dragged me out of the attic and took me into Bann’s room. I hadn’t been in the room much, but there was still a small vanity in the corner. “Sit. I’m going to do your hair.”

“How?” I asked.

“Just relax.” She said, running a comb through the snarls in my hair. “You will be gorgeous.”

---

This chapter was fun to write because Cricket finally stands up to Ellery and yells at him. This is her big moment when she stops taking all of his crap. ‘Cause he’s kind of a dumbass. There’s one huge moment when Ellery stops being so stupid and becomes adorable and dorky, but there are several chapters until then.

Thank you to my lovely reviewers: gyvareva, heyyeahh, and Lucky Star!

gyvareva – Cricket’s family always treated her normally and like they loved her because her “Da” holds the most power in the family and was threatening the people who married into the family if they didn’t do what he said. Some individuals, like Pereira, Melo, Basra, and Eaie, however, don’t listen to him blindly because they can see what a good person Cricket is. The others don’t know the truth of “Da” and his machinations. Also, Memaw and Papaw loved Cricket as one of their own and hated how “Da” treated her. There’s a reason they died so suddenly after Cricket’s wedding…

heyyeahh – I like Cricket so much because most of the issues she has to deal with are emotional, rather than physical. Because of that, she tends to do a lot less “action” and a lot more emotional trauma.

Lucky Star – I’m glad you’re enjoying the story. If you’d like more information on why her family betrayed her so quickly, just read my response to gyvareva, because there is a lot more information that I haven’t touched on that may or may not ever get put in the story.

Please review with any comments or questions you have! I promise I will respond to ALL of them! Also, Happy (belated) Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates it!

~LP