Love, Lose, Live
folder
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
20
Views:
2,846
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
20
Views:
2,846
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
If this resembles anyone, dead, alive or otherwise, it is purely coincidental.This is a work of fiction. I, the author, hold exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited
Chapter Ten
Kylee: you make me happy. It makes me feel better that somebody actually reads this and doesn't think it's complete crap. You are hitting on the exact things that I am debating within myself. I can tell you that I have delved almost completely off from where I was originally going to go. Maybe one day I'll write my original thought process. Thank you for your reviews. It made my day and I have been having very bad past few days. =)
violetstorm: I can understand the start being confusing. I was not originally going to have it be first person so there may be issues that I need to go back and fix. I am glad the story has your attention and I know it is heartbreaking insofar. Lucas does not have the happiest of stories but I don't want to change it. This is an honest portrayal of this character's life.
It may take me some time to get chapters up. I am writing a great deal now but exams are coming up and a bunch of projects and papers so the writing speed may slow down. Plus the future changed on me so I am having to redo the story in my head. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reading, voting and especially reviewing. It keeps me going knowing that people actually read and enjoy my story. Hugs and kisses all around. ^_^
I did actually edit this chapter because the people of AFF told me that Author's Notes could not be included so to keep them from hiding my story, I added a shorter version of a chapter than I had originally planned. Here you go:
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I wake up to sunshine on my face. I reach for Brian and my sadness returns when I find only a pillow and remember. I sigh and sit up in the bed rubbing the crusties from my eyes leftover from all of my tears. I jump when I hear “you’re finally awake.” I turn to see James in the doorway dressed in the same clothes from yesterday. “Now that you’re up, I’ll go see what I can do for breakfast.”
“Then I will go take a shower. I feel like I need one. I’ll be downstairs soon.” I get up, grab a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and take it to the bathroom. I shut the door behind and lean against it. With a second sigh, I set my clothes on the counter and turn the shower on lukewarm. I get in and stand for a second. I look down at my body seeing scars and wounds that years of abuse and self-hate inflicted upon it. For a moment I entertain the idea of finishing the attempts I had done before but I hear James’s accusation of selfishness again. I finish my shower, step out to towel myself off and see myself in the mirror. Brian would be mad at me if he were here. My eyes are puffy but my cheekbones are jutting out again. I’m too thin. I haven’t eaten much in the past few days or done much sleeping and I look sickly. I look away and pull on my clothes. Going downstairs, I smell bacon and my stomach grumbles loudly. Moving into the kitchen, keeping my eyes off the walls in the hallway, I see James setting a bunch of plates on the kitchen table.
“What would you like? Bacon? Eggs? Pancakes? I found some milk and orange juice in the fridge.”
“All of the above except the orange juice please.” James begins to pile the foods on a plate and I sit behind it my stomach demanding that I start consuming quickly. I begin slowly, mostly just picking at the food when James sits opposite of me.
“Lucas you need to eat. Today is going to be a long day and you’re going need the energy to get through it.” I continue to push the food around. “Come on Lucas. You need to eat.” I feel James looking at me and notice that he isn’t eating either. I begin not eat the eggs which my stomach accepts greedily. After some time I finish my plate, and go for my glass of milk. I curl up in the chair, with my arms around me knees sipping on the milk. James stands with his plate in hand, “would you like some more?” I shake my head. James takes my plate over to the sink, and opens the dishwasher.
“I can do that.” I unfold my body, set the glass down and walk to the dishwasher. James has continues loading it. I put my hand on his shoulder “I’ve got it James.” He looks up at me and moves out of the way.
“I’ll put the leftovers in the fridge for sometime later” he says grabbing a plate to put everything on.
“Ok. The saran wrap is in the pantry, bottom left side.” I continue putting the dishes away, enjoying the menial task’s ability to take my mind off of the day to come. I put the detergent in the dishwasher and start it up then move to the sink. I fill the sink up with water, grab the soap off the windowsill and do something I always do: I pour some of the soap into the sink and then squeeze the bottle to make little bubbles squirt out the top. I smile as the light from the window refracts through the bubbles. Brian always told me I was a child because of my fascination with bubbles. I wash the pan that the eggs were made and go to put it in the dish rack but James nabs the dish and begins to dry it. We go on in a tense but somewhat companionable silence. The dishes are done so I wipe down the counter but when that is done I don’t know what to do. “What time is the funeral? I never found out in the hospital” I ask starring out the window at the willow tree in the side yard.
“It begins at 2.”
“What time is it now?”
“10:30. We need to leave here at 1:15.”
“So that leaves two hours and forty-five minutes.” James makes a noise that I assume means he agrees. “I don’t have anything I can wear. I never really wore nice, black clothes.”
“We can go get you some. I need to stop by my house to get my things anyways. You’re dressed but I need to go get ready. I’ll be back shortly.” James disappears around the corner and I hear him go up the stairs. I turn towards the counter and my eyes land on the knife block. I begin to reach for one but I realize I wouldn’t have enough time before James came to find me. I turn away and go sit in a chair at the table. I hear James coming down the stairs, so I stand and try to find my shoes. I find a pair of flip flops sitting by the backdoor so I slip them on. “Ready to go?” I nod my head and follow James out the front door. I shut the door behind me and realize that the sunny day just could not be more opposed to my mood.
violetstorm: I can understand the start being confusing. I was not originally going to have it be first person so there may be issues that I need to go back and fix. I am glad the story has your attention and I know it is heartbreaking insofar. Lucas does not have the happiest of stories but I don't want to change it. This is an honest portrayal of this character's life.
It may take me some time to get chapters up. I am writing a great deal now but exams are coming up and a bunch of projects and papers so the writing speed may slow down. Plus the future changed on me so I am having to redo the story in my head. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reading, voting and especially reviewing. It keeps me going knowing that people actually read and enjoy my story. Hugs and kisses all around. ^_^
I did actually edit this chapter because the people of AFF told me that Author's Notes could not be included so to keep them from hiding my story, I added a shorter version of a chapter than I had originally planned. Here you go:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wake up to sunshine on my face. I reach for Brian and my sadness returns when I find only a pillow and remember. I sigh and sit up in the bed rubbing the crusties from my eyes leftover from all of my tears. I jump when I hear “you’re finally awake.” I turn to see James in the doorway dressed in the same clothes from yesterday. “Now that you’re up, I’ll go see what I can do for breakfast.”
“Then I will go take a shower. I feel like I need one. I’ll be downstairs soon.” I get up, grab a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and take it to the bathroom. I shut the door behind and lean against it. With a second sigh, I set my clothes on the counter and turn the shower on lukewarm. I get in and stand for a second. I look down at my body seeing scars and wounds that years of abuse and self-hate inflicted upon it. For a moment I entertain the idea of finishing the attempts I had done before but I hear James’s accusation of selfishness again. I finish my shower, step out to towel myself off and see myself in the mirror. Brian would be mad at me if he were here. My eyes are puffy but my cheekbones are jutting out again. I’m too thin. I haven’t eaten much in the past few days or done much sleeping and I look sickly. I look away and pull on my clothes. Going downstairs, I smell bacon and my stomach grumbles loudly. Moving into the kitchen, keeping my eyes off the walls in the hallway, I see James setting a bunch of plates on the kitchen table.
“What would you like? Bacon? Eggs? Pancakes? I found some milk and orange juice in the fridge.”
“All of the above except the orange juice please.” James begins to pile the foods on a plate and I sit behind it my stomach demanding that I start consuming quickly. I begin slowly, mostly just picking at the food when James sits opposite of me.
“Lucas you need to eat. Today is going to be a long day and you’re going need the energy to get through it.” I continue to push the food around. “Come on Lucas. You need to eat.” I feel James looking at me and notice that he isn’t eating either. I begin not eat the eggs which my stomach accepts greedily. After some time I finish my plate, and go for my glass of milk. I curl up in the chair, with my arms around me knees sipping on the milk. James stands with his plate in hand, “would you like some more?” I shake my head. James takes my plate over to the sink, and opens the dishwasher.
“I can do that.” I unfold my body, set the glass down and walk to the dishwasher. James has continues loading it. I put my hand on his shoulder “I’ve got it James.” He looks up at me and moves out of the way.
“I’ll put the leftovers in the fridge for sometime later” he says grabbing a plate to put everything on.
“Ok. The saran wrap is in the pantry, bottom left side.” I continue putting the dishes away, enjoying the menial task’s ability to take my mind off of the day to come. I put the detergent in the dishwasher and start it up then move to the sink. I fill the sink up with water, grab the soap off the windowsill and do something I always do: I pour some of the soap into the sink and then squeeze the bottle to make little bubbles squirt out the top. I smile as the light from the window refracts through the bubbles. Brian always told me I was a child because of my fascination with bubbles. I wash the pan that the eggs were made and go to put it in the dish rack but James nabs the dish and begins to dry it. We go on in a tense but somewhat companionable silence. The dishes are done so I wipe down the counter but when that is done I don’t know what to do. “What time is the funeral? I never found out in the hospital” I ask starring out the window at the willow tree in the side yard.
“It begins at 2.”
“What time is it now?”
“10:30. We need to leave here at 1:15.”
“So that leaves two hours and forty-five minutes.” James makes a noise that I assume means he agrees. “I don’t have anything I can wear. I never really wore nice, black clothes.”
“We can go get you some. I need to stop by my house to get my things anyways. You’re dressed but I need to go get ready. I’ll be back shortly.” James disappears around the corner and I hear him go up the stairs. I turn towards the counter and my eyes land on the knife block. I begin to reach for one but I realize I wouldn’t have enough time before James came to find me. I turn away and go sit in a chair at the table. I hear James coming down the stairs, so I stand and try to find my shoes. I find a pair of flip flops sitting by the backdoor so I slip them on. “Ready to go?” I nod my head and follow James out the front door. I shut the door behind me and realize that the sunny day just could not be more opposed to my mood.