Rebecca

It's been a shockingly long time since I updated, and I can only apologies. Please do read this last installment of the story, though if you think that I've left a suitable door open for a sequel please do tell me. Also, if you've got anything you;d like me to write about next, do give me suggestions. Thank you all, especially if you've been with me from the begning.


Four years later.


Unusually I have post this morning, proper post. Not just a big pile of leaflets catalogs and bills, a thick white envelope, expensive paper, it feels smooth and it's a perfect crisp white. I prop it up against the toaster whilst I make a cup of tea and look at it, bemused. It clashes quite beautifully with the rest of the room, my shabby student's flat. Not a lot to write home about image wise, but I owned it, it was mine. After three years of working and saving through university (fee's payed for by my ever elusive albeit financially involved parents) I had managed to get together enough money to rent this tiny Oxford flat, a one bedroom, kitchen bathroom affair, very simple but very comfortable, and most importantly very mine. It was a Thursday morning and usually I'd be at a lecture, only it's the summer break, I was about to go into the last year of my History degree at Oxford, Magdalen Collage to be specific.
I perched up on the counter, took a sip of my tea (Earl Grey, Three sugars, no milk) and slid my finger under the flap of the envelop and slipped out the stiff white card. There was only one thing that this could be, it was a wedding invitation.
“Mr and Mrs Bennett-Brown invite cordially invite you to the wedding of their daughter, Miss Annabelle Bennett-Brown to Mr Jack Holden.”
Fuck.

I drop my cup of tea. My tracksuit bottoms are soaked with brown liquid, I raise my hands to my mouth and hesitantly start to chew at the corner of my nail, a truly teenage gesture that I thought I had abandoned. Apparently not.

My first thought. He's getting married.
My second thought. Why the fuck would he invite me?
Fuck.
Four years. It's been four years since that man ripped out my fucking heart and stamped all over it, and now he's inviting me to his fucking wedding? What the fuck is going on?

Standing in the cold bath room I turn on the taps and watch the bath fill up with hot water, I peel off my tea stained trackie bums and slip into the hot water. As I lie there stewing in the water I contemplate that fateful evening four years ago.

I'm running along the corridor to his rooms, chewing on my nails and full of anticipation, in the corridor earlier he'd said that he had something to tell me, some news. I remember knocking on his door, full of hope, skipping into his study and perching on the arm of the sofa, pouting and flirting for all i was worth, not noticing how grave his face was, the expression of vacant resignation.
“So Jack, what did you want to tell me” I smile at him, looking interested.
“Oh. Right, well yes.”
“What's the matter?” I ask, concerned. He sits down on the sofa opposite me and takes a deep breath.
“I'm not sure how to put this Jones. It's about us.” Silence hangs in the air between us, when has anything good ever come after those words?
“I don't want any bollocks Jack, just tell me the fucking truth. Are you breaking up with me?”
“I'm leaving.” he declares flatly.
“Leaving?” I reply. This information refuses to process. “Why?” He looks uncomfortable and shifts his gaze to the fire.
“Because.”
“That's not an answer.”
“I don't have an answer”
“All I want is the truth”
“I don't have the fucking truth Jones.”
“Thats bollocks! Just tell me whats going on. Why are you leaving?”
“Can't you see? I have to go Jones. If I don't then we'll keep going like this, and I'll either fuck it up, or we'll get found out. Either way what we had is ruined. If I go now then it will always stay like this, perfect in our memories.”
“Bullshit.” I reply. “You're lying to me.”
“Yes.” He retorts bitterly. “They've told you, haven't they? That your far to fucking perceptive for your age?”
“Don't change the subject.” I say, steadily. “What's going on?”
“Annabelle.” The one word is filled with bile and hatred. Trying very hard to keep my temper I take a deep breath.
“Explain. Now.”
To this day reliving this moment makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach.
'My parents have given me an ultimatum, either I move in with Annabell, which will inevitably lead to marriage, or they're going to cut me off.”
“Cut you off?” I ask.
“Finatinally, no more money. No car, no apartment, I wont inherit their house, nothing.”
“And that matters?”
“Are you really that naive? Of course it matters. I'm a fucking teacher, I need the money!” I looked shocked,
“So you'd rather have a Porsche and a flat in Knightsbridge than be with me? Is that what your saying?”
“Calm down Jones, your getting hysterical.” He moved away from me and poured himself a glass of water.
“DON'T fucking tell me to calm down. I'm in love with you and your trading me in for cold hard cash.”
“That's really unfair, you know it's not like that. What if I told my parents to stick it, and I stayed with you, I'd be completely broke and the chances are that we wouldn't last anyway.”
“I really, honestly, can't believe you sometimes. I thought that you loved me.”
“I did, I do, but love isn't enough. There are bigger things in the world.”
“You're a sell out.”
He didn't reply to that for a while, he just left my words hanging in the air. Eventually he took a deep breath and replied slowly.
'Yes. I suppose I am. The thing is Bex, I do love you, but I love my job and I love my life style and I'm selfish, and when it comes down to it, I care about myself” He came and sat down next to me. He tried to put a hand on my arm but I shrugged him off.
“That probably makes me an evil bastard, but I've got to look out for myself, and this is what I have to do. All of my life I've been brought up knowing that this was going to be my life. A suit, and job, children, Marriage. Marriage to Annabell. That's always been the way that it is.” Again he tried his hand on my arm but the feel of his touch made my skin crawl and I shrugged him off.
“This has been amazing, you've let me be who I truly feel I am, I've explored myself, but it's not time for that anymore. It's time for me to go back to real life.”
“You're talking about me as if I were a holiday, or a Christmas tree that you wheel in and have a great time with over the festive period, only as soon as it's over you dump it outside on the road. Is that really all I mean to you?”
He didn't reply.
“You disgust me, Jack Holden,”
“You're a child Rebecca. You'll learn about the world one day, you'll look back and see that you've behaved like a petulant child, you will feel so stupid that you will want to hunt me down and beg for my forgiveness.”
“Don't hold you're breath. Bastard”
I got up and walked out if his office, I slammed his door, and then I never look back. I skipped his lessons for the rest of the term and at the end of term it was announced that he was to be leaving. Our new history teacher was a middle aged, married woman. I got an A at A-Level, and I'm doing my degree here at history. Four years later I still stand by everything that I said to him on that fateful evening.
The last question that is unanswered is, why am I invited? I come to two conclusions, he's invited all of the sixth form from when he was teaching, and he's forgotten all about our dalliance, or there is of course the somewhat disturbing prospect that he wants to see me. Neither of these two arguments satisfy my curiosity. I hope that I can rightfully blame my curiosity for what I did next.
I get out my stationary, about to write a very polite refusal letter to the Bennett-Browns, only my pen seems to have have life of it's own.

"Miss Rebecca Jones is delighted to accept the invitation of the Bennett-Browns and eagerly anticipates the wedding of their daughter."

I expect this probably means that I'm going to have to buy a hat.
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A/N: Well dear readers, we have come to the end of the line on this particular section of the story, if you've enjoyed it, why not leave a review? I'd particularly like your opinion on this- Would you like to see the future of Rebecca and Holden? Or do you think it's time for something new? Or both? Please do tell me what you think.