Ghost of you

Thanks for the reviews! My answers at the bottom of the page.

And Merry christmas to everyone reading! *hugs*

Betad by: Teeta

*****************************************************************************************

Chapter 10



He wasn’t able to concentrate, trying to paint the lake before him, but ending up sketching the familiar face that he had grown to love. It would not do, he sighed; Alexander was constantly on his mind, every minute of every hour. He thought of the dead lover of his, feeling jealous of this boy that he didn’t even know, a boy that had died years ago. But whoever this boy had been, held the heart of the man he loved.

Who had he been? What had his name been? Olavi would have liked to know. At first when the man had told about him, he hadn’t been interested in knowing these things, thinking that it would be better if he didn’t, and now? Now he yearned to know more. He closed his eyes, trying to will himself to stop thinking about it, but what ever he did, he just couldn’t. He didn’t know if the man loved him or not, maybe… Maybe Alexander just couldn’t love him? He cursed himself for feeling so strongly, for falling in love, he should have known better. Why did it hurt so much? He would lose Alexander, the summer would end and the man would leave him. He couldn’t help a few tears that fell down, gritting his teeth he made up his mind not to cry for it, but it was easier said than done.

At times like this he really missed his mother, real mother. The warm hold of her, soothing words, the love that only a mother could give. That was how he had always pictured her; gentle, warm and loving.

He distantly remembered the boat trip to Sweden, holding on to his sister, scared and confused about what was happening and where they were going, where his mother and brother were. He had cried almost the whole trip there.
First weeks and months he had never parted his sister’s side, the only one familiar to him. They had refused to sleep separately, Aino had always held his hand where ever they had went.

He remembered all those different people talking in a language that they couldn’t understand at first, and sometimes they had screamed, yelled at them. Anton had often hit him on his head with his toys, telling him to not touch them. And then there had been Emma, her mother, his stepmother. Speaking the language that they knew. And slowly he and his sister had begun to trust these people, slowly they started to feel comfortable enough to leave each other’s company for small moments.

But many times, when they felt so out of place, felt like their new family couldn’t love them enough, when their stepparents were displeased with them, Aino told him that their brother would find them, that he’d come to take them back home, but he never had. When his stepmother had acted coldly towards them, treating them a bit differently than her own, Olavi also began to dream of his own mother, that she would come back somehow, that she’d take them home, but she never did, either.

He decided to give up the painting for now and walked back to the house. On his way there he encountered Hanna and her friends. The girls blushed and greeted him with a giggle. Hanna whispered something to them and then approached him.

“Where were you?” She asked, walking by his side.
“I was at the lake, painting.” He told her.
“Oh, wait,” she stopped him and Olavi looked at her with confusion. “You have a little bit of paint there.” She said touching his neck and starting to wipe it off.
“Oh well, it happens often, so it’s okay,” he said and she took her hand away, smiling, blushing.
“You haven’t called on me for some time.” Hanna said then. He hesitated.
“I’ve been occupied and I-,”
“Oh I understand. Take me to the next dance on Saturday and I’ll forgive you.” She grinned and quickly kissed his cheek.
“Hanna I-,” He started but she was already running off.
“I’ll talk with you later then!” She yelled after.

Sighing deeply he continued his walk. Why didn’t that damned girl get it through her head that he did not care for her? He thought to himself. A part of him wished, well a big part of him wished that he could feel for her that way, it would make his life so much easier. But his whole being, his heart couldn't stand the thought, it disgusted him to even think about touching her in that way.


When he had dropped all of his painting stuff into his room and sat there thinking about things, he decided to go to the man, just to see him, talk to him, perhaps. For some reason, he felt slightly depressed, scared of the future, perhaps, and he needed to see him, needed to see that he cared.


He could hear the laughter from afar. The other men were having a coffee break near the house, they were joking, making fun of Russians, of the Soviet Union telling jokes with loud voice, loud enough for Alexander to hear them.
Olavi stopped to his tracks to look at them and then at Alexander who simply continued working, trying his best to ignore the rude comments coming from the others, but Olavi could see that it bothered him.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to work?” Olavi asked while passing them, unable to keep his mouth shut. “And honestly, one could think that grown men have better things to talk about besides these childish insults and jokes. It seems to me that the one you keep insulting works a hell of a lot harder than the bunch of you.” He looked at the men coldly, getting crumby looks back.

“Oh just mind your own business boy, what do you know of anything? And we do have the right to take coffee breaks.” One of he men spat while getting up.
“Indeed you do, but how long have you sat there already? And as the owner of this house, I will not tolerate any insults here. You are adults, do try to act accordingly.” He said and turned his back on them.
“Insolent brat… Russian lover.” He heard the muttered comments thrown at him. He decided to just ignore them, he said what he wanted to say.

Alexander had disappeared from view, so Olavi went to seek for him, finding him on the other side of the house.

“I am sorry for them, I’m sorry that you have to stand for those jerks.” Olavi said leaning against the wall and looking at him. Alexander glanced at him, smiled.
“I’ve been through worse, trust me, nothing that I couldn’t take.” He said and walked closer. “But I was very proud of you just now, for standing up to me the way you did, you just keep surprising me, don’t you? Talking so maturely.” He smiled, looking around and then planting a kiss on the boys lips.
“I know what it’s like, being insulted for being different, being insulted because of your nationality. It’s so silly, but people do odd things, think in odd ways. It doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t hurt.” Olavi whispered back, touching his hand and then his cheek.

“Come with me.” Olavi whispered still holding his hand.
“Come with you to where?” Alexander asked with puzzled expression.
“Just come.” He smiled, leading him towards the near forest, first looking around to make sure that no one would see them leave. Alexander followed, not letting go of Olavi’s hand, walking deeper into the forest with him, wondering with curiosity what the boy was up to.

They walked quite far until they reached a small stream. Olavi sat down on the ground looking up to him and smiling.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” He asked and leaned to touch the water with his hand, the sun shone through the trees and the boy’s hair glimmered with it, golden, angelic…
“Aye, beautiful.” Alexander breathed out looking at him.
Blue eyes looked up to him again, smiling, the boy offered his hand towards him. “Won’t you sit down with me?”
Alexander knelt slowly beside him, looking at the surroundings more carefully; it truly was a beautiful, breathtaking place. Olavi moved closer to him, leaned towards him and kissed him gently.
“There’s no one here but us.” He whispered close to his ear and this time it was Alexander who grasped him, lifting the boy up on his lap and kissed him more deeply.
Olavi started opening the buttons of the man’s shirt as they continued kissing. Alexander looked at him, grinning.
“You’ve changed, not so insecure anymore, are you?” He said then. Olavi blushed slightly but then locked his eyes with his.
“No, you’ve seen me already, you’ve been inside of me, why should I feel insecure anymore?” He asked then. “Perhaps I am trying my best to seduce you, to… well perhaps I shouldn’t reveal all of my plans to you as of yet.” He grinned then and kissed Alexander neck, slowly undressing his shirt.


“Seduce me? But you’ve already done it. What is your plan I wonder?” Alexander asked with lust filled voice as he undressed the boy’s shirt. He laid Olavi down on the soft grass, kneeling over him starting to open his pants. “I should be working…” He whispered and kissed Olavi’s lips. “But just one taste of your sweet lips and I’ve forgotten all reason…This is getting dangerous.” He continued. Olavi brought his head up and kissed him with hunger.
“Oh god how much I want you.”

They got rid of their remaining clothes, both trying to slow themselves down, but it felt hard to slow down when both of them wanted it so bad. Hungry kisses, touches, feeling of each others bodies, wanting to feel and touch every spot possible.

Olavi moaned when feeling Alexanders first finger going inside of him, then the second. He bit his lip from the pain that he felt. He didn’t care though, even if there was some pain he wanted to feel the man inside again. He found it strange how fast things could change, such a short time ago he hadn’t even known of this, of how good it could feel.

“Inside, I want you inside.” Olavi whispered then. Alexander didn’t have to be told twice. He positioned himself and slowly thrust in. Olavi threw his head back, squeezing his eyes shut and moaning from the pain that he first felt. Once completely in, Alexander started kissing him, waiting. It was hard to wait, but he didn’t want to hurt him more than he had.

Slowly he started moving, both so lost in the moment that they didn’t even remember to worry about the possibility of getting caught. Sweat glimmering on their bodies, soft moans, whispers and continuing kisses.


After their love making, they laid there together on the soft grass, Olavi’s head resting on Alexander’s chest. Feeling peaceful, happy for that one small moment, Alexander gazed at the sky above them.
“Let’s not go back Alex, let’s stay here, never leave this forest. Hide from the rest of the world.” Olavi whispered. Alexander kissed the crown of his head.
“I wish we could.” He whispered back. “But even if it was possible, could you really leave your sister?” He asked. Olavi was quiet for a small moment.
“No, I could never leave her.” He said then. “Aino means the world to me, she’s the only one, who’s always been there, she’s my life and I am hers. One can not live without the other, and we’ve never been apart for more than a couple of days. So how could I leave her?” He asked. There was a moment of silence. Olavi got up, kneeling on the stream side and splashing some water on his face. They were both still naked. Alexander got up as well, wrapping his arms around the boy and kissing his shoulder, a hand was gently placed on his.

“Why can’t life be easy? Why can’t I just love you and tell the world that I do?” Olavi asked then with a whisper. Closing his eyes, Alexander sighed, breathing in the scent of his hair.
“I’ve been wondering the same thing…I hate the idea of losing you. You've brought me to life, and what is going to happen if you walk away from it?”
“You care for me?”
“More than you know.” He told him. ‘And I must tell you something, I’ve waited too long with this already.’ he thought to say, but the words refused to come out.
“I love you.” Olavi whispered and kissed him.
“And I you.”
“You do?” Olavi’s eyes brightened, he smiled when looking at him, waiting for the answer.
“Aye. As in yes. How could I not?” They kissed once more.

**^^**^^**^^**^^**^^**^^**

Aino watched her brother with curiosity when he came back. Olavi was smiling to himself, seeming to be lost in his own thoughts. Her brother seemed to be doing a lot of that lately and Aino was dying to know what was going on. It seemed that for once she could not get a straight answer from him, so she would have to keep an even better eye of his doings.

When they were eating dinner that night, she caught few stolen glances that Olavi and the Russian seemed to give to one another, the secret smiles on both of their faces… Something was most definitely going on, making her worry for Olavi to grow. She would not let it rest before she would find out the truth, she would not lose another family member because of some Russian. The man was hiding something, she knew that much at least, perhaps it was time to get some answers?

TBC.

*****************************************************************************************

*womo* I know, I miss Elias too. Thanks for reviewing! :)
*Onde* Glad you're reviewing now and so glad to hear you like! =)
*Mayo* Thanks for reviewing *hugs*
*Teeta* Glad you've liked! Yes it can get a bit confusing with the little fellow having the same name, lol
*Midnighteyes* Sweetheart, I couldn't live with myself knowing that I got you mad at me, I wouldn't want to upset you again. Don't be scared okay? :)
*Yblue* yes, he is quite well informed isn't he, though Emma might have forgotten to tell him something important, lol And yes, by all means, do come and claim your cookies someday, I'll have them ready for you then, hehe
*scribbles05*: Thank you! =) I feel sorry for Emma too, well for all of them really.
*Madlodger* Thank you again, you always make me smile.
And yes I read those stories too, hope there's an update soon ;)if there already isn't..?