His First

His First: Chapter 1: Caught in the Rain

Brendan scowled into the darkness as he waited for the bus. He was cold, he was hungry and he was wet. The rain poured down in sheets blowing right into the bus shelter. ‘What a shitty-assed day’, he grumbled to himself. The headlights of the bus shown down the dark street. He stood up and stepped into the full brunt of the rain to reach the curb but the bus did not stop. In fact, it flew on by him like he didn’t even exist.

“Son of a….” he yelled out as he turned from the cresting wave of water the bus threw up as it passed. ‘Some sort of weird paranormal shift happened today and I no longer exist, do I?’ Being passed by the bus was only one item in a long list of bad things to happen to him today. Frustrated and on his last nerve, he checked his backpack. ‘Great, not enough money for a cab.’ Did he want to wait another 20 minutes for the next bus to ignore him? “Fuck that. Fuck everything!” Brendan hoisted his pack up and stepped head long into the driving rain. He was crying and he didn’t care. Everything had gone wrong today: late alarm clock, fucking surprise quiz, Michael and Anne, stupid hospital, assholes around every corner…no lunch…funckin rain… “Did you just suddenly decide you hated me or something?” Brendan yelled up at the sky. There was a flash of lightning and a loud crack of thunder. ‘Whatever…’ He continued to seethe as he angrily slogged through the wet night. There was a long walk ahead of him and if he wasn’t miserable before he certainly was now. Brendan lost himself in the dismal feeling of the cold rain soaking him to the bone and the sound of the cars, with their warm dry passengers, swishing quickly past him. He was probably gonna catch pneumonia and die. Life sucked.

A car horn beeped next to him. He ignored it and in a few feet it sounded again. ‘Just what I need, some jerk off trying to pick me up.’ About the time Brendan turned 15 men started approaching him in clubs or even on the street. They all wanted one thing, his sweet young ass. It was anything but flattering. Girls at school were always cooing over Brendan telling him how cute he was in his vintage baggy clothing, unruly black hair pulled into spiky tufts on either side of his head, and his delicate eyes outlined in black make-up. Brendan’s appearance rendered a delicate fusion of girl and boy. Unfortunately there was a certain group of 4o-something men that *really* got off on it. Yes he was gay but sex was something he hadn’t experienced yet and he sure wasn’t gonna make his first time with some random sleazy bastard from the street. ‘Friggin horny morons.’ The horn blasted a second and then a third time.

“Fuck off!” he shot behind him as he tried to walk away. He cringed as the window rolled down.

“Ah come on sweetness….I just want you to suck my dick, pleeeease pretty boy?” The man in the car was laughing and making gross smoochy noises, but it was a voice Brendan knew. It was Colin, his best friend, Michael’s, older brother. “Get in before you drown looser!” Colin bellowed out.

Brendan gratefully grabbed at the door and slid in. He squished as he eased into the warm dry seat. “Thanks man, sorry,” Brendan let out a heavy sigh as they took off into the traffic.

“What’s up? Why you out there strolling in the monsoon?”

“Fuck if I know.” Brendan wiped at his dripping eyeliner. He probably looked like a damn raccoon by now. “ The whole friggin world is against me today. You might wanna toss me back out before it gets you, too.”

Colin glanced over with a reassuring smile. He was surprised to see an attractive young man sitting in his car instead of the little kid his brother palled around with. Brendan’s wet clothing clung to his slight form suggesting that there were fine waves of well toned muscles underneath it. ‘Damn’ he thought as he moved form Brendan’s chest to his full bottom lip jutting out in a little pout. “Now why would I toss back a catch like you?”

Brendan sank low in the seat with a shrug assuming Colin was simply continuing his teasing. Colin and Michael had witnessed a few of Brendan’s unwanted admirers. The brothers continually teased him about it. They said it was funny because Brendan was such a prudish virgin. He’d only just admitted to Michael a year ago that he was gay. Michael was cool with it and even tried an awkward kiss just to test things out. The best friends ended up in the floor laughing their asses off.

“I don’t know, man. Everything just… got all fucked today…” Brendan trailed off as he looked out the window. He couldn’t really pin down what went wrong. It was more like a series of events that just made him feel like shit. All he wanted to do now was go home and sulk.

Colin let the kid pout. He didn’t seam to want to talk and besides, Brendan was adorable as hell sitting over there wet and brooding. Colin looked ahead at the wet street and smiled to himself.

The radio played as they drove through the slick streets. Brendan was grateful that he wasn’t walking in the rain any more. He curled into the seat and listen to the sound of the windshield wipers beating over the music. He watched Colin drive. It was hard to see him in the dark. It’s funny how night changes things. Colin’s dark blond hair and cool blue eyes faded into something else, something wild and unknown in the dark. It sent a shiver down Brendan’s spine. Not that being around Colin didn’t usually send his body into hyper-sensitive mode. It seamed rude to sit in silence and just stare at Colin. “So what are YOU up to this fine evening?”

“Me?” Colin asked, “I don’t know. I was just driving over to the parents’ … maybe watch a movie with them. Most everybody at the university has left for the long weekend. Sometimes it sucks being a ‘native’, you know? Mike told me Anne’s parents are out of town so we all know where he is.” Colin looked steadily at the blurry road. He was proud of his brother for staying friends with Brendan after Brendan came out. It was one thing to have a gay brother but a gay best friend brought a whole new set of issues.

“Ya the bastard.” Brendan grumbled.

“Is that jealousy I hear?” Colin looked over to the other boy.

“Naw, he was just my back up plan. Mom and I had this birthday thing set up and she got called in to work so…guess I’m shit out of luck.” ‘for the umpteenth time today’ Brendan moped.

“Whose birthday?” Colin was finally pulling into the driveway of Brendan’s tiny house.

“Mine,” Brendan whispered. He fought the stinging behind his eyes. He’d spent birthdays alone before but today with all the other little things that got to him, hell, he should just give up.

“Oh, so that explains the whole world hating Brendan deal.” Colin tried to tease Brendan into a smile and instead found the boy staring a hole through the window. He couldn’t leave the kid alone in this foul of a mood. He touched the boys shoulder, “What do you say we two lonely guys team up and make a night of it?”

Brendan released a deep sigh, “Beats crying in my bed room and feeling sorry for myself.” He opened his door and plunged out into the rain.

“Dude, you sure have the angst-ies tonight.” Colin quipped as he prepared to step into the deluge himself.

They ran up to the house together and Brendan got them inside quickly.

“I’m gonna change into something dry. Make yourself at home.” The phone began to ring as Brendan got to his room. “Could you get that?” he yelled back.

“Sure, Hellooo Greenwood residence where Brendan the uber-angsty, sexy, goth god lives.”

“Fuck you Colin!”

“Oh Hi Ms. Greenwood. Sorry about that. It’s Colin. Unhuh, Michael’s older brother. Well, I found him wandering aimlessly down the street and gave him a ride home. What? huh? un n-n-no…He’s fine. No I was just teasing, m’am.” Colin mentally kinked himself in the head. “Ok , ya, Ok sure…No think we’re just going to hang out here. Ok uhuh, Ya thanks. Here he is. Sorry dude.” He handed the phone over to a scowling half dressed Brendan.

“Hey Mom.” Brendan shoved a towel at Colin so he could dry his hair.

Colin put the fuzzy white cloth to his head and began to rub. Through the edges of the towel he watched Brendan. The younger boy had changed into a pair of old black dress slacks, which hung precariously from his hips. Brendan twisted a white t-shirt in his hands as he talked to his Mom. Colin smiled at how the usually shy boy stood so naturally in front of him half dressed. The bare chest now confirmed what the wet shirt had suggested to Colin. Brendan’s body was beautiful. He respectfully ducked his head under the towel.

“Yes I’m fine. Colin is just a moron in training. No Mom, Mom… MOOOOM! I’m ok I understand. We’re gonna hang here and watch a movie and pig out kay? We’ll go out to Vinny’s next week when you’re off. I know. ya. I know! Ok I love you. I will. BYE!”

Colin met Brendan’s glower with an apologetic face.

“Way to go man. Now she’s all ‘sorry sorry sorry’ and worried I’m gonna sit here alone and sulk.”

“Well, you were,” Colin jeered, tossing his towel into an overflowing laundry basket in the hall.

“Ya but she didn’t need to know that.”

“Ok whatever. Go put in a movie and I’ll call for some Chinese. What do you want?” Colin slid his hand softly down Brendan’s arm as he moved passed the boy back to the phone.

Brendan didn’t notice the small touch. “Snow Pea and Chicken. Number’s on the fridge.” Brendan pulled the white t-shirt over his head and settled it around his hips before he perused the movies his Mom had gotten for them to watch. Well, god definitely hated him. He couldn’t watch these with Colin. They were all kids movies and sappy love stories. Not a manly one in the bunch. He could not honestly sit next the guy he’d had a crush on for the last year and watch these things. Especially since Colin probably only saw him as a little kid.

“Interesting selection.”

Brendan jumped at Colin’s close proximity. He could feel the other boy’s body heat against his still chilled skin. “ya well Mom and I kinda have this ritual,” he stammered. “We watch sappy movies together. Been doing it since I was eight. When Dad died. Michael says that’s why I’m so ‘sensitive’” he snarled the last word as if it bruised his tongue.

Colin reached for one of the movies in Brendan’s hands his body briefly coming into full contact with Brendan’s. It was tempting to linger there but instead he turned and slipped the movie into the player.

This time Brendan did notice the touch. His stomach fluttered and his heart sped up. He quickly stepped away from Colin and plopped onto the couch.

“You and your Mom are close, huh?” Colin slid down next to him. He had the remote in his hand and pressed play. A lush countryside splayed across the TV and a small mouse voice announced the opening scene.

“I guess,” Brendan looked out at the rain. He felt like there was a big gapping hole inside him. If he could just curl up in Colin’s lap maybe it would go away. His eyes moved back to the TV and watched the pale pink pig be lifted up by the farmer’s knowing hands. He’d seen this move a hundred times with his Mom. It always made them cry.

Colin glanced over at Brendan. His eyes looked so far away. It worried him. “You OK? You seem more than just pissy about a change in plans,” he asked softly.

Brendan felt Colin’s shoulder pressing against his. It was nice. Nice in a way that made you want touch yourself, or kiss your best friend’s older brother. He sighed and pushed those fantasies away. Colin was a nice guy and a good surrogate brother, nothing more. Brendan laid his head back on the couch and looked up at Colin. “I don’t know. Everything’s just….” he trailed off with a shrug. Brendan couldn’t find the words to describe what was happening inside him. He felt the waterworks in his face starting up again and wished for once they just wouldn’t.

Colin saw the inner struggle play across Brendan’s face and the tears welling up at the rim of his eyes. The eyeliner the kid donned every once in a while was smudged. Colin reached out his hand. He cupped Brendan’s cheek and rubbed the make up back into place with his thumb. Brendan’s sad hazel eyes drew him in. “I like that you’re sensitive,” Colin whispered. Spell bound in the moment, he drifted a little closer to Brendan just as the door buzzer sounded making both boys jump away from each other.

Brendan quickly got up and grabbed money from the kitchen counter to pay the delivery guy. His heart was beating terribly fast. God must still be playing games with him. He could have sworn Colin was moving in for a kiss back there. Brendan brought the food to the kitchen. He stood with his back to the living room where Colin was. Colin, who’d just tried to kiss him? Brendan touched his check where Colin’s hand had been. No. It hadn’t happened. He only imaged Colin leaning in, crystal blue eyes gazing steadily into his. Brendan grabbed the plates steadied his breathing before heading back to his guest. What a joke. It couldn’t be anything more than wishful thinking. Why would Colin want to be with an inexperienced 16-year- old like him?

TBC