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for Forbidden Fun at the Snake Temple

by ShadowCat13

person NightShadeGhost
schedule December 13, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Well it kind of blows that I'm the first person to write a review. Ah well. Moving on.

I want to like this story, but it needs to be edited. There are missing words or misspellings. And a few times it felt like the story skipped or hiccuped. If I ignore those problems, then I do like the story. I'm not sure if I was supposed to read this one first, but I did. I would like to see a second part to this, but understand that this was a oneshot.

Thank you for sharing!