rate_review Reviews

Damn, I bet there will be many twists again.update soon !Aida

Awww, cute chapter! I'm so glad it wasn't as angsty as I thought, lol. You're quite good at decieving the reader, I know I should have seen a trick or something coming but I didn't, lol, good misdirection :)

Love the new chapter - it was so much easier to read and had a much nicer flow to it :)

Lol, sadly I have to admit that if they do force him with the abortion I might have to stop reading it, not that there's anything wrong with your plot but angst isn't really to my personal taste, lol, especially when the characters are so enjoyable, it just makes you want to cry when they suffer so much. I do look forward to more though :)

Oh my...what will it take ? a divine intervention ??? you little evil...UPDATE.A

oh my God ! I didn't see that coming.It sure will get them all in troubles...great story so far, update soon ! A

You have a really good story, interesting plot and quite enjoyable to read. I have to say though your punctuation leaves something to be desired, lol, an elipsis (the . . . ) indicates a long pause, or in quotations a missing out of words in order to shorten the quote to contain just the main points. When you have so many elipsis in speech it forces the reader to constantly pause and it jars the dialogue - your dialogue is otherwise fine, but for the reader to constantly pause it's quite frustrating and breaks from reality as not many people speak like that. I think you need to use the comma instead, though of course for a long pause an elipsis is fine.

Anyways I look forward to more from you - you have a lot of potential.