schedule
April 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Interesting story. I'd love to see where you take it. Update soon please!
schedule
April 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
...Huh. Unless they're well written, I don't normally read incestuous stories or stories involving minors, mostly as a matter of personal taste. This one happened to be well-written, and it was artfully done.
On the technical side of things, I noticed right away your use of hyphens on a few words that don't require them (the correct spelling is 'nonetheless', and the age description 'eight years old' didn't need them either), but other than that, I didn't see any other problems.
Artistically speaking, I found your piece well-written. For a first chapter, you seem to have a good foundation for a story set up. I guess all I really had a problem with was that it seemed so...basic, I guess, but considering it's written in the youngest sister's slightly innocent (dare I use the term 'naive') point of view, it's not really anything you need to concern yourself too much with.
All in all, it was very well done. I think your story, as well as a few others, may well bring me deeper down into the darker depths of this site. Keep up the good work!
On the technical side of things, I noticed right away your use of hyphens on a few words that don't require them (the correct spelling is 'nonetheless', and the age description 'eight years old' didn't need them either), but other than that, I didn't see any other problems.
Artistically speaking, I found your piece well-written. For a first chapter, you seem to have a good foundation for a story set up. I guess all I really had a problem with was that it seemed so...basic, I guess, but considering it's written in the youngest sister's slightly innocent (dare I use the term 'naive') point of view, it's not really anything you need to concern yourself too much with.
All in all, it was very well done. I think your story, as well as a few others, may well bring me deeper down into the darker depths of this site. Keep up the good work!