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August 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 4, if James didn't kill his step father then he should get out of jail in my opinion. Erica needs help psychologically and her reasoning to sell herself doesn't even make sense. I'm glad Jennifer didn't agree to it but I think Erica is going to act out some how. I disagree with Omi's lifestyle/occupation. Thanks for updating.
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August 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter SFC! I'm glad the girls were saved and are going to be taken care of, but the minute I read about the leather-clad woman my mind went uh-oh! I am really curious to see what's the deal with Mr. Cronus. I liked the fact that James seemed to be so stoic in this chapter. I got the bit with the self insertion. It was funny! :)
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August 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 2, what an awful situation for Jennifer, Erica, and James to be in. Erica's and Jennifer's father is so sick. I dislike Jennifer right now. Because one no way in hell would I just lay in bed and listen to my little sister being violated and two she's only thinking of her situation. I would rather beg in the street then live with a father like that. Their father deserves to be castrated seriously.
The story is darker than I thought. I like how you integrated the conversation and the description of James and Mitch playing pool together. I found a mistake in this sentence "You're of legal age to live alone, Erica." I think you meant Jennifer not Erica. Thanks for updating.
The story is darker than I thought. I like how you integrated the conversation and the description of James and Mitch playing pool together. I found a mistake in this sentence "You're of legal age to live alone, Erica." I think you meant Jennifer not Erica. Thanks for updating.
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August 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey SFC! Good to see you back with this story!
God, these must be some of the most screwed up parents I've ever seen!
Poor Jimmy, Jennifer and Erica! Very good and dramatic chapter, the tension between the characters flowed freely and it actually made me connect and sympathize with them. Great work! :)
God, these must be some of the most screwed up parents I've ever seen!
Poor Jimmy, Jennifer and Erica! Very good and dramatic chapter, the tension between the characters flowed freely and it actually made me connect and sympathize with them. Great work! :)
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August 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
That was really well written.
Please continue.
Please continue.
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August 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey, I just found your story and I truly like the prologue. You should definitely continue it. This prologue is sad and I think I know what Jennifer is insinuating towards the end of the chapter, wink, wink, haha. You must continue. I would like to know the past, present, and future of these characters. I like the title by the way. Thanks.
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July 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
You'll see me again for sure! :)
I like your new work, sounds really interesting... curious to find out more about Jimmy's life... it's quite early and I cannot say a lot of things, but I will be checking for updates.
I like your new work, sounds really interesting... curious to find out more about Jimmy's life... it's quite early and I cannot say a lot of things, but I will be checking for updates.