schedule
October 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hey.. there's still a few spelling errors. Escalate instead of escalade, and criticism instead of critisism.
You write very well, just check your spelling. :-)
You write very well, just check your spelling. :-)
schedule
October 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i LOVE iT! PLEASE UPDATE S00N!
L0TS 0F L0VE,
-MiLA J
L0TS 0F L0VE,
-MiLA J
schedule
October 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Pretty nice story. I like your descriptions; they add a sort of sweet, soft touch to it. However, I do think separating the story into paragraphs would be a step up. Still, very nice.
schedule
October 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hey, this is pretty good, I like it so far. It definitely fits the category it falls under. There are just a few grammatical errors, but nothing really wrong with it. Nice job. ^^
schedule
October 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hmmm very nice way to wake up.
My only suggestion is could you break the large blocks of text in smaller paragraphs, as large blocks can be difficult to read.
I look forward to chapter two!!!!
My only suggestion is could you break the large blocks of text in smaller paragraphs, as large blocks can be difficult to read.
I look forward to chapter two!!!!
schedule
October 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i loved it. it was delisiously descriptive which brought the reader to the situation. whom ever you wrote this on is a lucky guy.