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schedule
November 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
lol well done, this is an awesome story. just for feedback...
I love the writing style. It really suits the theme of the story and the descriptive nature of it brings the world to life even more.
Storywise, it\'s very engaging and seems to have had alot of thought put into it, seems that Serenity isn\'t the only one with a great imagination huh? :P
Anyway keep up the good work, look forward to reading the next section!
I love the writing style. It really suits the theme of the story and the descriptive nature of it brings the world to life even more.
Storywise, it\'s very engaging and seems to have had alot of thought put into it, seems that Serenity isn\'t the only one with a great imagination huh? :P
Anyway keep up the good work, look forward to reading the next section!
schedule
November 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Quite an interesting plot you have going. I\'m enjoying it a helluva lot.
schedule
November 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hehe I just love this chapter too. I do hope you get more reviews. You\'re very talented.
schedule
November 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
should have done with the nude scene. But otherwise good story, good plot. And i hope good fortune comes opon this story.
schedule
November 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
AWW!!! I\'ve read all the chapters and I LOVE what you have so far. This has to be my fav story from this site so far. I hope you continue on more. Do you already have an idea if Serenity has a few unknown secrets about her? I love a story with twists! I also suggest you add more mythical creatures to it and add more humor too for this sounds like it\'s going to get pretty dark at times.
schedule
November 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Looks good so far.
Though for formatting try not to put unnecessary spaces between quotation marks or parentheses and the text within them.
Though for formatting try not to put unnecessary spaces between quotation marks or parentheses and the text within them.
schedule
November 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Caught sight of this from another site, and must say, I like it thus far. Hope you update when you can.
schedule
November 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love the little girl, and the hurt you can already tell that\'s forming with her mother. The discription is great, and I love the whole part out side in the snow! Keep up the good work girl, you\'ll go far!
schedule
November 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Maybe one of Serenity\'s characters will come alive! UPDATE please!
schedule
November 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hmm.. she reminds me of someone... always playing video games and always talking about them hehe... Anyways this is good so i hope you update!!!