rate_review Reviews

Ok....first I want to say that you are a good story teller and I liked the story. However, you really need to work on grammar and syntax. The errors you made with spelling and grammatical context are just unacceptable for a college student. High school students should not be making the mistakes you made much less a college student such as yourself. That piece of constructive criticism is coming from a recent college graduate. Neverthless, I want to congratulate you on completing your first real story. Just proofread and edit and proofread and edit again before publishing a story. What you write is apart of you and it reflects the type of artist and writer you are, and you always want to give your best because you never know when a brilliant opportunity could present itself. When that happens you want your best work, which should be anything that you publish, to speak for you and your talent and brilliance as a writer. Keep up the good work!!!

good story i read it all the way through w/o stopping

this was a cute story and i must say, choosing topic dealings with rape, naivete and first love, was brave. but story could have had a better 'flow' if you used some sort of spell/grammar checker. it was distracting reading jsut and trying to get over too/to when you meant two. syntax/grammar was interesting also. i hope for the sequel you will use microsoft word or something like that before you post. this is not a flame and not an attack on your story. your writing, being your first, has great promise because it holds attention and was a fairly easy read. i am merely suggesting some fine tuning. also, i was really happy you chose savannah as the city because i love the city! please continue writing!

Aww... this is it?? *sniffs* this was such a good story I really loved reading it, please finish your other stories so I may read your new story that involves Robin and Marcus. But if I may ask will Kevin come back and get revenge on Robin and Marcus or what is this new problem that will occur now that there no longer in college and that? Oh please please hurry so I may read and find out for I hate suspense..... Anyways awesome story I really truely did love it

oh very good please update soon this is getting interesting

hey taye! waiting for an update over here! you\'re driving me nuts!!!!!

Oh nice chapter it was awsome.... anyway I can\'t wait to see what happens to Kevin?? I wonder what Marcus will do to him??? Oh please update soon

OMG this chapter was awsome in away... I can\'t help but wonder if Marty is going to tell Marcus and when she does what the outcome would be for if it was me I\'d go for a cry/fight scene for guns aren\'t always the answere plus there to messy fits are better for they make you hurt like hell anyway please update again soon

Oh the suspense..... please, please update again soon.... I wonder what\'s gonna happen next and I hope robin doesn\'t shut down on marcus after seeing kevin again for that girl seriously needs to tell marcus this before it drives her either crazy or insane or maybe both... *ponders* Is that really possible??? Anyway very good and like I said please update again soon

It seems kinda hard for me to believe they love each other truly, when for most of the relationship so far, they\'ve been apart. I can\'t believe Robin is \"naive\" enough to supposedly be in love with Marcus but has feelings for Kevin?! I mean... it could happen, her liking two guys at one time but she keeps telling Marcus she loves him and I\'m not convinced. Her dimwittedness kinda aggravated me but you got me feeling something for her by pulling the sympathy card with the rape.
I hope she tells him so that maybe they can face it together as a couple. Kevin definitely deserves his but I hope Marcus doesn\'t do anything to jeopardize himself.
Thanks for posting. Can\'t wait to see the next chapter.