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January 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I laughed so hard at times I nearly cried. There were a few typos, but they might have been intentional... so I won't comment on that besides this sentence.
Seriously, it's awesome.
Seriously, it's awesome.
schedule
December 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
you forgot one detail. CONSENSUAL TENTACLE SEX!!!!1 HOW DO YOU WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THAT BECAUSE ALLL WHAT I READ IS NO!!! PLEASE!! DONT DO THAT!!! THE GIRL ALWAYS SAYS THAT, I NEVER FOUND TENTACLE SEX WITHOUT RAPE. WERES A CHALENGE!!
HOW TO WRITE A TENTACLE LEMON WITH OUT THE GIRL BEING RAPED. THAT WOULD BE ORIGINAL!!! HOW TO WRITE TENTACLE SEX WITHOUT RAPE. FIRST MAKE THE MONSTER HAVE A CHILD HOOD. SECOND MONSTER AND GIRL ARE FRIENDS SINCE THEIR WERE CHILDS. MONSTER PROTECTS HER FROM PERVERTS. GIRLS FALL IN LOVE WITH MONSTER. MONSTER FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRL
THIS GIVES HOT TENTACLE CANSENSUAL SEX. AND IT IS ORIGINAL!! BECAUSE THE GIRLS WANTS.
MAYBE I HAVE BEEN DRINKING TO MUCH. BUT YOU FORGOT HOW TO WRITE TENTACLE SCENES.-__- AND YOU CONSIDER YOUR SELF TO KNOW ALL. MAYBE. BUT IN TENTACLE YOU DONT KNOW NOTHING.AHHHHHH THAT IS SAD
HOW TO WRITE A TENTACLE LEMON WITH OUT THE GIRL BEING RAPED. THAT WOULD BE ORIGINAL!!! HOW TO WRITE TENTACLE SEX WITHOUT RAPE. FIRST MAKE THE MONSTER HAVE A CHILD HOOD. SECOND MONSTER AND GIRL ARE FRIENDS SINCE THEIR WERE CHILDS. MONSTER PROTECTS HER FROM PERVERTS. GIRLS FALL IN LOVE WITH MONSTER. MONSTER FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRL
THIS GIVES HOT TENTACLE CANSENSUAL SEX. AND IT IS ORIGINAL!! BECAUSE THE GIRLS WANTS.
MAYBE I HAVE BEEN DRINKING TO MUCH. BUT YOU FORGOT HOW TO WRITE TENTACLE SCENES.-__- AND YOU CONSIDER YOUR SELF TO KNOW ALL. MAYBE. BUT IN TENTACLE YOU DONT KNOW NOTHING.AHHHHHH THAT IS SAD
schedule
October 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
*snorfles* Beautifully done and completely hilarious.
schedule
October 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow...this should be mandatory reading for everyone who wants to projectile vomit another poorly written fic onto our computer screens. If I have to read another \"Percy adn Snape finally express theri luv 4 eachother...\" I\'ll kill myself. Well done!
schedule
September 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
thats hysterical
I hope everyone realizes you\'re kidding and doesnt write a bunch of shitty poorly written lemons.
You pretty much point everything not to do when writing a lemon.
for my own amusment heres a list of things not to do:
dont be blunt, by which i mean dont use the words: dick, penis, pussy, cunt, fuck....etc
just like real life, foreplay is important. If the reader doesnt get warmed up, its not sucessful smut
dont draw from experience too much. Take advantage of the fact that its not real life and make it sound better.
Dont be unrealistic. understand the limits of human ability.
Dont be too realistic, remember it is your story
remember that your goal is to arouse the reader, so drag it out a long time.
Build suspense. Dont make two characters jump into bed right away. If you give them what they want up front, they wont come back for more.
Relax and enjoy yourself. Remember that lemon writing is fun. If you\'re not having fun, dont bother.
Follow these rules of mine and you\'ll have the perfect lemon. Or maybe not. But at least you\'ll have something.
I hope everyone realizes you\'re kidding and doesnt write a bunch of shitty poorly written lemons.
You pretty much point everything not to do when writing a lemon.
for my own amusment heres a list of things not to do:
dont be blunt, by which i mean dont use the words: dick, penis, pussy, cunt, fuck....etc
just like real life, foreplay is important. If the reader doesnt get warmed up, its not sucessful smut
dont draw from experience too much. Take advantage of the fact that its not real life and make it sound better.
Dont be unrealistic. understand the limits of human ability.
Dont be too realistic, remember it is your story
remember that your goal is to arouse the reader, so drag it out a long time.
Build suspense. Dont make two characters jump into bed right away. If you give them what they want up front, they wont come back for more.
Relax and enjoy yourself. Remember that lemon writing is fun. If you\'re not having fun, dont bother.
Follow these rules of mine and you\'ll have the perfect lemon. Or maybe not. But at least you\'ll have something.