rate_review Reviews

I'm not sure what you were trying to accomplish. Your story reads very fast and the style kept changing so it was hard to find a groove. I liked that you gave Antros a way out, being a wanderer and all, just incase you wanted to end the fic. There were a few gray areas and the formating was a bit tough to digest. Where one characters dialoge would end another would start right after. Otherwise the story tickled me and I don't regret reading it.

Great story! The smut was very hot, and Ayisa and Antros were both very believable, sympathetic characters. (Extra sexy points go to Antros for having blue hair!) I know one reviewer thought that the dream didn\'t fit with the rest of the story, but to me, it seemed to fit perfectly. On the surface, it obviously represents the fact that Antros does initially hurt Ayisa by rejecting her, and the faceless bodies are all the people he\'s rejected in the past. But, for me, it also had another layer of meaning. In some sense, Antros does kill Ayisa, because love changes people so much that it becomes a sort of death -- the death of the person they used to be. So the dream forshadows all that, and comes true in two ways.

And thanks for the happy ending. Contrary to what you might think from reading my stories, I do love a happy ending!

Love,
Falcon

Harpling:

Yeah, ok, I know there were errors and such, everyone makes mistakes. If you want to blame me on that, then blame me for not bothering to correct them. I know, a bit lazy.... but hey what do you want from me?

As for the story, yeah I know some things might have not made too much sense. But it\'s my first original idea, and it was a bit rushed.... if you don\'t like it, that\'s fine. You don\'t have to read it. But I\'m glad you took the time to speak honestly to me about it.

I\'ll try your ideas on my next story. Thanks for the review.

you might want to have this read over by one of the beta readers. check the link at the top of the page. there are quite a few spelling and grammatical errors in your writing, as well as limited word choice and some flow problems. also, you never explained why she was dreaming of him before meeting him or why the dream included so much death. for all the attention you paid to the dream, i had thought it would be a rather significant part of the story, but you never fully explained it.

i also think the characters could use some more development, and maybe some stuff about what kind of country it was, what th people were like, what the land was like would also be nice.

Wow. This is a really good start. Very mysterious and chilling. The dream was very creepy and well described. I look forward to the smut! ^_^

Woah. That was really good. Very well described. I like this story very much!

Aww. He stayed. How sweet! Nice work!

very interesting ya must update