rate_review Reviews

Good story thanks for the update. Please continue. Poor Devin. His Dad is a jerk.

Short, but at least it alleviated the tension that you caused with the previous chapter ^_^ I do kind of agree with the lack of character development. I think that if you can write a good story, then you CAN develop characters. Just think of it this way- as the author, you are definitely allowed to let us, the reader, think of these characters however we wish. But, most readers don\'t want that. We want to be TOLD what to think, we want to be told about the conflicting inner turmoil that rages within these teens. Not necessarily angsty stuff (although that definitely keeps the tension high and pulls people back to your story), but something to let us feel like, on some level, we can connect, or at least sympathize, with these characters whose lives we are allowed to read about. Think of what you would do, feel, think, if you were in that situation. Or, better yet, think of what you WOULDN\'T do; maybe have your characters do crazy things, feel crazy things, think crazy things. If nothing else, just try it...just write and write. If it sucks, so what? You don\'t have to post it, we never have to see it. But, you never know, we may LOVE it! Don\'t fear what we, the reader, think! You write because you feel that you have something to say, someone\'s story to tell, and that\'s what we really want to see. We just want a little more insight into WHY you\'ve decided to tell us this story- which happens through developing your characters more. That doesn\'t necessarily mean that your chapters have to be longer; maybe just have one chapter devoted to one character and what he or she is doing, feeling, thinking, interspersed within the craziness that is high school life (and yes, it really is that crazy).
This is all meant for encouragement purposes only, I hope you know ^_^ I wouldn\'t have even bothered to review your story if it hadn\'t caught my eye, if it hadn\'t pulled me in. I think that you are on the verge and all you need is to just take a deep breath, relax, and write!
And now, since this is officially the longest review I have ever left ^_^ I\'m going to leave you alone so you can tantalize us with more chapters that leave us all wanting more. I love it, I truly do! More more! ^_^

OOooohh! What a terrible and absolutely AWFUL cliffy! That was a great chapter, but it was a really mean way to end it! Update soon! ^_^

i am really liking this story nothing like something to bring back good ole high school memories. keep up the good work

Hmm... the chapters are really, really short - which is a bit of a let down. You\'ve got a good way with storylines but you seem to be rushing things a little, there isn\'t much time for character development and you don\'t really get a chance to get involved with the characters due to the time shifts, I found it a bit hard to follow - but the beginning was nice, for sure.

I say, keep this up.

- Micah.

Hey, Your story is GOOD! I\'m hoping to see more interaction between Devin and Regina next chapter. I wonder if they still talk to each other or just stoped completely after the incident in the last chapter. Anyway I wanted to tell you that I know who sings the song you have named your story after. The singer is a guy named LUTHER VANDROSS. Here\'s a link to the lyrics just in case you might want to check them out: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/luthervandross/ifiwastheone.html

OMG!! whats wrong with Devin? ummm maybe pissed off at the fact that she\'s using him? ;) i can\'t wait to see what happens next!

OOOoooo! I love a girl who\'s smarter than she let\'s on! I hoped she smacked some sense into Devin! Steriods...jeez ^_^ Anyway, I like these last two chapters. I think that you are good at the banter between them. As always, can\'t wait for more!

I meant to review earlier -like when I actually read the new chapter ^_^- but lunch is only so long. Anyways, I just wanted to say that I really hate Devin\'s dad...and if that\'s what you intended, then you did a great job of it! So, now I\'m even more curious to see where you take this. No pressure, but update soon! ^_^

Evocative, it being that at some level everyone can relate -specially the type of people who come to this site ;-)- with Devin and to some degree Regina. I look forward to see how you manage the time lapses and character growth. Don\'t fret about the shortness of the chapters, everyone would much rather read well thought out small passages than rambling volumes. Keep going, we are listening.