Give and Take

January 15^th, 2014 1:54 p.m.

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: hey

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: 8====D

8inchcock: goddamnit gillian change yr name

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: no lol

8inchcock: that happened like 3 years ago

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: it happened last week. and no one can forget you steppin in it. we had to ride home with you

8inchcock: i will hack yr compoter

8inchcock: *computer

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: ill just change it back

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: everyone will kno you smell like cow poop

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: >:)

8inchcock: i cant be gay AND smell like shit

8inchcock: that’s just unfair

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: ill reconsider if you come to johns party

8inchcock: ill have to ask my dad but yeah iprobably can

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: COOOL

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: its saturday at 8ish i think

8inchcock: okokok. i expect u to hold up yr end of the deal

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: lol whatever. my breaks over I gotta go bsack to work. see you tomorrow

8inchcock: :P bye losr

January 19^th, 2014 2:11 p.m.

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: where the hell were u yesterday??

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: i waited outside yr house for like anhour

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: i thought u said yr dad said yes??

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: seriously johnny, answer me

8inchcock: something came up

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: what the hell?? why couldnt u tell me tht yesterday?? and what happend

8inchcock: sorry gill, i comepletely forgot

8inchcock: ill tell u tmr

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: >:(

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: I was so excited to go out w u again

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: we havent rlly done anything in so long

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: seriously i miss u

8inchcock: I kno im sorry

8inchcock: we can hangout soon k?

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: ): fine

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: …our names on here r way too dumb for this convo lol

8inchcock: mine isnt dumb. its simply a fact

Johnnysmellslikecowshit: LOL ok then so is mine

8inchcock: godDAMNIt CHANGE YR FUCKING Name

“Johnnysmellslikecowshit” changed names to “morelike5inchcock”

8inchcock: ..

8inchcock: i guess i kinda asked for that

Morelike5inchcock: lol bye

“morelike5inchcock” changed names to “Gillian”

Gillian: I changed my name will u stop ignoring me now?

Gillian: serioysly where have u been?

Gillian: I mean it really wasnt tht big of deal that u missed the party but u havnt been at school

Gillian: nick told me he hasnt seen u either. what happened??

Gillian: pls, johnny, reply to me

Gillian: Im worried about u

I’m okay.

I’m okay.

Imokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimok

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kayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayim

okayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokayimokay

I’m okay. I need to be.

Friday night was a dream, a nightmare, a drug-induced hallucination. Except I was awake and sober, and it all felt too real. So now I’m stuck in a paradoxical dream-reality where nothing happened and I’m OKAY.

OKAYOKAYOKAY

January 26^th, 2014 8:19 a.m.

It happened again, which mean I’m definitely and assuredly NOT okay.

Maybe Friday night was a fluke, and maybe yesterday was too. But waking up with scars running down my legs was not, which means that it’s officially the start of my demise.

I’ve gone crazy. I’m mad. I’m not only off my rocker, I did a 180 degree flip off the top, and landed on my head. There’s no other reason to be seeing what I’m seeing.

Before the paranoia kicks in and I find myself doped up in a mental ward, I decided I best form logical, reasonable, approach to my situation. I would like to leave my peers a positive impression of myself, before I am reduced to a drugged, drooling mess. So, here are the facts:

1. I’m seventeen years old, gay, and a virgin. This is unrelated to the other facts, but I decided to first build pity before listing the rest.


2. A month ago, I started having dreams about a boy, probably my age, in a black suit


3. Two weeks ago, I started talking to him in my dreams


4. On Sunday night, I saw him on the street

And the kicker:

1. In the last week, I have died, then regenerated, 3 times.