The Empty Release

I sit here and squirm

The feeling coming again

I check the clock...

Count the hours to when I am alone

The feeling grows

I need the release

Quick moments stolen

Brief relief leads to more agony

I bite my lip

Waiting

I adjust my body

Quivering

Finally I'm alone

My fingers twitch

The anticipation builds

The first touch is made

Oh divine, how I hate you!

The drive pushed forward

Again!  Once more!

My adept fingers finding each wave

Sweet build up

I need more

My fingers search

Finding the next release

Divines!  How I loathe you!

The climb always sweeter

The destination always barren

The need drives me on

Can't this be enough?

Once more you say?

Once more, and again

It is never enough

I'm empty now

The release has left me

Sweat chilling my skin

Cold and alone

I don't want this

I don't want to need this

The craving a torment

The release a wasteland

The ache has returned

Quiet for now

But ever present

My eternal tormentor

Just a moments peace

Just a moment to breathe

Just a moment to be free

And not crave the empty release