The School for the Grotesquely Unique: Madagascar

Quick A/N: Hello! I am terribly new here. I just have had this idea forming in my head for quite a lonnng while and I have written many fun starts. This is sort of quick humor and entirely inspired by my odd music choice, a dream I had involving a boy who was too tall and his friend who had hair on fire, and oddly a friend’s horse who though is the sweetest, gentlemany, expensive stallion, is the most conformational odd horse I’ve ever met (Whose name may or may not be Tino...) Definitely a light hearted, supposed to be quick read. Each chapter should be a bit jumpy. There will be slight angst, but mostly just much fun. Hope you enjoy!—Muchness

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.Chapter 1.

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Dear Mr. Frank Unstein,

                Hello. I’m a devoted fan. Really devoted, like I’ve got a shrine the size of the EPA’s respect for BP in America. Okay, I’m not really a fan. I loathe knock offs of knock offs. Yet I am being help at grade point average here which I’d like to say is twice as scary as any gun point really. I read your Biography, “Life Through the Ages: A Tale of Despair, Woe, and Anguish.”



Personally I found it a little redundant; the whole vampire theme has gotten so old. I mean what with all the stories out there already yours just sort of fell flat on its face. In my very humble opinion I found it trite and boring. The surmise of the story is the idea of a stuck forever at twenty-eight year old Vampyre and the story of his life through all the ages, from 113 B.C. to present day…I think the violence was too little, the romance was way too unbelievable- the thirty wives, and over thousand husbands was a bit fantastical to me-, and the story line was just blah. Plus it was totally cheesy to write about how you were one of the firsts ever to undergo cosmetic makeover, done by a 12^th century witch, and for a few centuries lumbered around with your hands out, green and with two giant metal knuts out the side of your neck.



Until of course in the 14^th century when another witch was able to undo it.  Way killed it for me. Anyway, sorry but I really prefer honesty over anything else. To graduate from The School for the Grotesquely Unique I’ve got to do a research project. We had to choose a book that was over five hundred pages which had a living author, write a detailed critique on it, then we had to write another paper on what we would have done differently and why we think the book did or didn’t do so well on the charts, and lastly we have to contact the author and ask for an interview. If this is reaches you, then well this is me asking if I can shoot you another email/letter with some questions in it?



So, yeah. Otherwise I’d not have bugged you. Sure you’ve got loads of busy work to do, like job searching and what not. I’m like fairly positive this isn’t even a real email address. If it is well then, here’s hoping!

Yours truly and always,

Maddy Machiavelli

Madagascar Machiavelli

The School for the Grotesquely Unique

1331 West Gremlin Road Bucket, Transylvania 92198                      

 

Frank looked down at the letter in his hand that he’d just printed off of the computer.  It matched completely to the one he’d just received in the mail the day prior. There was an odd mixture of fury and amusement at this “Maddy’s” tenacity. Snorting at the juvenile writing once more he tossed the paper back onto his desk. Oh he’d answer the boy alright but they were on his terms.

“Ms. Maddy,

I’ll give you your interview in return for an advance copy of your papers. Shoot me the questions and I’ll answer them.

-Mr. Unstein.”

 

Maddy scowled somewhat fiercely at the email that dinged into his email. He had been totally surprised and then irritated by the email. This Mr. Unstein was a real jerk. The papers weren’t really ready yet. Well, he’d written them already just very passionately and without any edit. Chewing briefly on the back of his thumb Maddy debated to himself. Finally with a quick shrug he attached his papers and clicked send. Cracking his knuckles he began to type up some questions for the author.

 

Frank felt a serious eye twitch at the email that had popped into his inbox just mere moments before. The boy’s paper had been rather interesting. It was no doubt that the boy was argumentative, fiery, and a little asshole. The paper had many logical points that gave Frank pause, but none were backed by anything and so merely gave him a headache. Truthfully, Frank laughed a little at the amusing truths that this Maddy brought up.  However, it was the “few” questions that had seriously boggled his mind. The few that truly struck out to him were:

Interview With A Vampyre



Maddy: Now that your book has been on the Transylvanian Tymes Best Seller List for fifteen weeks in a row, do you plan on writing more or retiring at your substantial age with the money that your profited off of it?

Maddy: At what point in your life did you decide to go from psychopathic, murderous bastard to peaceful, garden growing author?

Maddy: Were there extenuating circumstances to why you obtained from any sexual exploits from 1604 to 1904? And, are disease related in any way? Such as the Human Infectious Virus, Human Putrefying Virus? Or perhaps the Auguste’s Internal Decaying Syndrome caused by poor care of the already dead internal organs, that was discovered by August Auguste in the 12^th century?

Frank didn’t know if he should be irritated, amused, or if he should even bother responding to this child. Tapping his pointer finger upon the space bar for a few moments his lips twisted wryly. If the boy wanted to know such personal things, well he’d show him just how easy it was to write over a thousand page book.

“YUCK!” Maddy exclaimed, his hair flaming instantly around him. Tino who had been lounging indolently on his best’s bed rolled over in surprise.

 

“What?” he asked as he rolled off the bed to come check it out. Maddy waved him over to look at the screen.

Tino’s brows lifted quite comically. “Didn’t know that was actually physically possible,” he commented as he read about the author’s sexual moresome that was one of the more prominent reasons that led to his few centuries of celibacy. Maddy had equal looks of horror and fascination adorning his face as he read and reread the entire letter. Tino laughed and clapped his friend on the shoulder as he returned to the comfortable bed. When Maddy had his fangs in something it’d take a massive emergency to divert his attention.

 

Sure enough within seconds Tino heard Maddy’s fingers flying scarily fast upon the keyboard. The clacking keys and spontaneous smoke swirls that Maddy produced chased Valentino into a peaceful slumber. Maddy had mostly already pushed his friends company to the back of his mind. This author was really something!

Re-reading carefully what he’d already typed Maddy triple checked to make sure it wasn’t too personal before hitting send. This email had to be extremely professional and polite.

 

Frank laughed loud and long, startling the Flesh Eating Plant on his desk into quivers. But his attention was firmly on the very curt and polite letter he’d received in favor of his interview answers.

 

“Mr. Unstein,

                Everything dictated to me in the letters is viable information for my paper. Hopefully nothing you have said in this private conversation could be offensive if handed into my professors. Wanted to be absolutely certain before submitting this to the entire class. As each interview will be on display for each classmate to purview. Yours till the end of this, Madagascar.”

He’d finally gotten to the little bugger. Frank smirked at his computer. Well, here came the unwilling human on the sacrificial slab for him.

“I’ll be there to read it in person. Yours till the artery clogs, Frank.”

 

Maddy tugged at the confining tie around his neck. Already it was askew, off to the side, and the first three buttons of his shirt undone. His parents were wandering around somewhere, probably trying to bribe or threaten the teachers into ignoring his triplet brothers’ mischief. His eyes lit up when he saw his best linger awkwardly at the door. His heart broke a little when he saw the way Tino shuffled in hunching his skinny shoulders in an attempt to appear smaller, a lesser target. His lips tightened when he saw the shabby, old, ridiculously hideous clothing that he had to wear. It wasn’t fair!

 

What he loved most about Tino was the way that Tino needed only a small smile from him to make his entire face alight. There was no lingering on the hardships or sadness that so bogged the tall boy down. As he made his way to Maddy’s side a genuine smile twisted those thin lips. Maddy beamed up at him, his own frustrations aside now.

“Hey Vallie.”  He followed it up with casual arms linking around the slim hips.

Tino’s arms slid confidently about his shoulders and Maddy pressed a smile into the sternum in front of him. To any looking on it’d almost appear to be a lover’s embrace. It wasn’t the kind of love that came with lust though. It was a truer, longer love. It was the love of honest friendship.

 

Pale gray eyes watched the two from the side of the room. Moments before those same eyes had flipped through the thick packet that made up Madagascar Machiavelli’s portfolio paper. An amused smile had lit the face as he read the teacher’s comments on the last page. It was much more polished than the first version he’d read to be sure. He watched now as an olive skinned boy with hair so black it almost shone incandescently approached the two. Before his arrival the room had only been filled with a few parents and younger classmen no one threatening to say the least. As the new boy approached the stranger watched as the awkwardly, tall boy’s body stiffened and disengaged almost hastily from the smaller red head.

 

The gray eyes narrowed shrewdly as he watched the oblivious red head greet the stranger affectionately. The tanned boy greeted Maddy just as affectionately, yet distancing the taller boy even more. It was a shame that Maddy didn’t realize it, but within just a few moments the tall boy was isolated from the two.

 

“Milo!” the red head laughed as the newly christened boy grabbed the red head’s hand and pulled him out into the hallway. Maddy didn’t see the cruel smirk directed back at the awkward boy, but the stranger did. He also saw the way the tall boy seemed to fold in on himself even more.

 

Humming low in his throat he strode out from where he’d been concealing himself away. The distance to the boy was not a large one and he made it quickly. The boy was tall for his age, he determined but not overtly tall really. He himself towered over the boy by quite a bit still.

“Hello there child.”  he greeted the boy, offering his hand for a shake.

For a moment he wondered if he’d gotten blood on his hands when he’d had his lunch earlier and not noticed. A quick peek told him no indeed he hadn’t. But, he couldn’t figure out the look of surprise on the child’s face. Very, very, very hesitantly, as if Frank might bite, the child offered his own hand.

The moment Frank’s fingers closed around the skinny, bony hand he regretted it. The outpouring of pure emotion that sang for someone, anyone to hear it almost overwhelmed him. It took every bit of his patience to keep from yanking his hand back. Instead he shook it once gently and then released the boy.

To cover his shock he introduced himself to the boy. “I’m Frank, it’s a pleasure to meet your acquaintance, young-err?”

Tino blinked for a moment, totally floored that someone from this school had not only offered a hand in friendship but asked for his name!

“Valentino, sir. Or just Tino.” He quietly replied, hoping the man didn’t feel offended that Tino dare offer a nick.

Frank smiled then though it was not a happy one. For the look of shy wonder and dry suspicion told him much more than he’d wanted to know. The boy was cute, in an odd way. Round eyes that were framed by dark, long lashes. Big, copper eyes that were guileless in their openness. A small mouth with very thin lips, framed by very slight dimples in the cheeks. His hair was curly and hung about his head in a shaggy display of a crazy mix of red copper and chocolate brown. Cute, though not his type. Not a typical type for this school either really.

Slipping a hand on the boy’s far right shoulder he ignored the way the boy flinched slightly and then tensed in surprise. Instead he focused on maneuvering him around the room, asking him all sorts of questions about the school and its inhabitants, and putting the boy at ease. It was an easy way to kill two birds with one stone. He detested sad children and he wanted to get some inside information about a certain red headed boy.

Maddy didn’t realize it had happened until awhile later and he planted his feet and looked about.

“Where’s Vallie?” he asked, surprised that he’d not noticed until just then that his best wasn’t still there. Milo rolled his eyes and tugged him forward by a hand around his bicep.

“Forget the dork, let’s go see if we can sneak into the kitchen and plant some Irrational Fear Tablets in the drinks. My brother got them all the way from Grunge for me!” Milo excitedly showed him a handful of blue and pink tablets he’d pulled from his pocket.

“Don’t call him that you ass hole. And, do it yourself, I’m going to find him. I can’t believe you distracted me!” Maddy stomped away, angry with himself for being so easy to distract. He couldn’t believe he’d left his best there by himself! Poor Vallie! It was just so easy to get caught up in the excitement that other people generated in him. Growling under his breath at himself he hurried back to the class.

He stopped short in dead surprise. A very, extremely very handsome man had his arm around Tino’s shoulder and had gotten him to smile! In school! Gob smacked Maddy sauntered quickly to them. The instant Vallie saw him his face lit up, making Maddy feel even guiltier.

“Vallie,” he whispered when he got closer. Any worry he had though was replaced with relief when his best merely smiled crookedly.

“Hey Maddy, did you know that Professor Anbulo was once covered from head to toe in hair?” Vallie laughed at the end, shocking Maddy even more. Valentino was the shyest person in the world. For him to be able to relax enough with a complete stranger, enough to laugh! Was seriously something else.

Instantly he liked this man, no matter who he was he couldn’t be a bad sort if Vallie liked him.

“Hello, I’m Maddy.” He said, offering his hand to the man. He was deadly grateful for how this man treated his Vallie.

With a very wry smirk the man pulled Tino closer to his side so he could reach over the boy with his right hand.

“Frank, Frank Unstein. Nice to meet you in person Maddy.”

Maddy’s hair promptly burst into flames.

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A/n: Hope you enjoyed the first bit! More to come soon, promise. [= Thanks for reading, and I’d love to hear what you think of it. No beta, so I’m sorry for any mistakes. Soon the story will have sense, I think. B]  –Muchness. -btw, sorry if the formatting is odd. I keep tweaking it and it gets botched every time...Terribly sorry!