Damn Me

“God damn me,” she whispered against the smooth marble of the tombstone. A single tear, swollen with despair, rolled slowly down her cheek and she blinked back more as she lifted the handgun up to her temple. “God damn me,” she repeated pressing her lips to the cold surface of the gravestone. She pushed the end of the titanium barrel sharply into her pale flesh and put her index finger, with its ragged and gnawed on cuticles, against the trigger. She closed her eyes as she felt the warm flow of her menstrual blood running down the inside of her thigh, flinching at the sound of a nearby thunderclap and knew that the rain would be here soon. She opened her eyes one last time to cast a last living glance at the carved letters that spelled out the name of the man she was giving her life, soul and virginity to. Cassie let her eyes fall close again and tightened her finger on the trigger, applying more pressure, “God damn me,” she screamed, until a single gunshot rang out in the cemetery and she ceased to speak. Rain began to fall and fat raindrops splashed on Cassie’s exposed skull, her remaining grey matter mottled and seemed to shrivel under the assault of rain. Cassie’s blood oozed sluggishly from the gaping mass that her head had been reduced to with the single bullet that had traveled into her skull when she pulled the trigger, her heart came to a still and her blood soaked into the ground underneath her which seemed to rumble with an anticipatory appreciation.