Of Love and Madness

Hugo was frustrated by a lot of things...... His job was terrible, his sex life dreadful, and his family impossible...... A few days

after his mother died he found himself wondering aimlessly late at night...... He'd walked down this particular street a

thousand times but not so often at three in the morning...... The air was chilly and damp, it had rained that evening...... He

tromped through mud puddles as if they weren't there...... He eventually wandered to a tiny park. He was very familiar with this

park, he had visited it countless times before, but always during the daytime...... It had been a bright, busy place then...... Birds

were singing, squirrels scrambled about and children laughed...... Now it was quiet and dark and very still...... Hugo collapsed

on a bench with his head down, the surroundings suited his mood...... He lit a cigarette and smoked. His thoughts centered

on Sherry...... It made him feel sick that she'd dumped him simply because he was always broke and lacking in ambition.

Behind every great man was a great woman and Sherry had hardly been that...still he'd loved her desperately...... Hugo

finished his cigarette and suddenly felt terribly tired...... His head tilted forward and he shut his eyes. Without meaning to he

fell into a troubled slumber. Strange dreams tortured his repose and vague, yet disturbing images filled his psyche. Then he

was awakened very abruptly by loud voices, angry voices. Nearby a woman and man were arguing. Hugo was shocked to see

that it was dawn. The voices grew louder and angrier. "I'll choke you to death you stupid bitch!" The man shouted...his rage

filling the park with hate. "No, please don't Edward, I didn't mean to make you mad. Please calm down."..... The girl pleaded.

.....Her voice had changed from angry to frightened, very frightened. Hugo watched in startled silence as the man's hands

went around the girl's throat and gasping sounds barely escaped from her mouth...... Hugo was no hero but he couldn't stand

being witness to a murder. .....He flung his body recklessly towards the two and shouted, "stop it you maniac, you'll kill her!"

The assailant was a large man, much larger than Hugo...... He turned and glared dangerously at the intruder. "Mind your own

business you pathetic bum..." Then he threw a punch that landed solidly against Hugo's collarbone and sent him flying to the

ground. Hugo was light and agile, he bounced up, his face red and grim. .....His hand flashed to a jacket pocket and the

switchblade glimmered beneath the first rays of new dawn...... "Put that toy away before I hurt you seriously," the woman

beater spat...... With lighting quickness Hugo struck and made a deep slash in the man's cheek. Blood spurted and the man

screamed like a frightened schoolgirl before running towards a nearby car. He fired the ignition and drove away. "I suppose

that's that." Hugo shrugged as he searched for some leaves to clean his knife...... "He asked for it, the bastard." The girl was

pretty but her huge eyes flashed disbelief. "You could have killed him!"..... "Would you rather I had let him kill you instead?

Maybe that little nick will teach him a lesson about roughing people up...especially girls and strangers." "He wouldn't have

killed me." Hugo didn't say anything else. He lit a cigarette and sucked down the smoke. He was anxious to leave, the police

might come. "I have to go, I'm not in the mood to get hauled in this morning, my mom just died and I'm a bit pissed off at the

world." "What am I going to do, I can't possibly go back to Edward's place now. Maybe you were right, he might have killed me.

And now?" "I live near here, come over to my place and rest a bit, get yourself together. We'll have a bite and you can clean up

a bit until you figure out what to do." Hugo was feeling generous, and she was very pretty. "But you're a complete stranger."

The girl said. "Fine, then stay here." Hugo was feeling irritated and he was stiff from sleeping in the park and getting banged

around. "I'm going before the cops come and besides its breakfast time." "Alright." The girl replied. "I suppose I can trust you,

you did save me from Edward. He would have beaten me to a pulp otherwise." She fell in beside the brooding man as he

walked quickly. She deftly dodged the water as he stomped through a mud puddle. Twenty minutes later they arrived at his

little apartment. Hesitantly she went inside. "Its very cozy in here." She said, "does a woman live here with you?" "Until

recently...yes, but that's all ancient history now I suppose. "She dumped me because I didn't have money for a car." "My name

is Leah by the way." The girl stated as she slumped on his couch. "I'm Hugo, do you want something to drink, or a sandwich?"

"Both would be wonderful Hugo, what are you drinking?" "All I have is beer." "That will do fine." Leah lit a cigarette and smoked

until Hugo came out from the kitchen with the beer and sandwich. He switched on the tv and for the longest time they sat

without speaking. Hugo no longer had cable, they watched something from his dvd collection. He enjoyed old movies and the

film he picked was an old Bela Lugosi movie. Leah seemed to like it. "This is a weird old movie." She said. "I like it." Hugo

replied. "Everything on tv today is garbage. I don't waste my time with it." Leah shrugged and finished her sandwich. He pulled

her skirt up slightly to scratch an itch on her thigh. Hugo noticed her lovely long legs and shapely thighs. He felt a tingle in his

crotch. It had been quite a while for him and Leah was damned pretty. He wondered briefly if he should just jump on her and

rape her? He didn't have enough beer to get her drunk. Life sucked. "I have some pot, want to get stoned?" Leah asked. Hugo

never smoked weed but for some reason he agreed. She rolled a fat join from a little red box. After a few hits the conversation

seemed to move along a bit better. "What was that dude beating your ass in the park?" Hugo asked, assuming it was ok to

ask. "He thought I was seeing another man." "I suppose you were then?" "Yes, of course." "Why don't you call him, this other

fellow, if you have no place to go?" Leah laughed, it was an appealing laugh. "He's married Ding Dong, all girls have a

married man on the side to give them money...don't you know anything?" Hugo felt offended but supposed it was the pot that

made her so bold...... She definitely seemed to be enjoying it...... Hugo went to fetch his last two beers...... He could handle

the paranoia weed gave him if he washed it down with suds...... When he returned Leah was finishing off the joint. She had

stretched out on the couch and was singing quietly to herself. Hugo

slumped in his worn out recliner and listened after giving her a beer...... He took a big swallow himself and was surprised that

is mood was much, much better than it had been in awhile...... Looking at the dark haired girls legs were only making him

hornier. "Do you enjoy sex?" He blurted out...... "Of course, but it depends on whom I'm doing it with? Why do you ask?  Is the

pot making you hot, its the kind that does that you know." "I guess I am a little horny. My girlfriend has been gone for several

days and I'm not really the type to masturbate." .....Leah laughed, "I see, instead of playing with your dick, you play with that

nasty little blade of yours. You're pretty good with that thing you know...... Have you ever cut a woman.....?" "No, I would never do

that. That asshole boyfriend of yourw hit me and knocked me on my ass...he was twice my size you know. What else could I

do?" Leah stretched and yawned. "Don't be so defensive, you're the one with the knife, not me. I just don't want to be

associated with Jack the Ripper you know." "Don't worry, I'm not famous." Leah laughed long and hard..."hey, that's a good

one. Would you do me a favor, I've such a terrible time of it." "Maybe." "Be a dear and massage my feet. It was a long walk over

here and my poor footsies are killing me." Hugo shrugged, he wanted to touch her...even if it was only her feet. "I suppose that

isn't asking to much." He moved to the end of the couch and gently took her shoes off. Then he massaged her feet as softly

and thoroughly as he could. Sherry had also loved having her feet massaged. Leah didn't remind him of Sherry...she seemed

to be a much more relaxed and sensual creature...and prettier too although Sherry had been plenty attractive in that

wholesome girl next door kind of way. Once or twice he heard Leah sigh in appreciation of his efforts. He was feeling the

effects of the weed and it all seemed rather surreal but he was enjoying himself. It was strange but wonderful how a new

woman could come into one's life and suddenly your entire perspective would change. After several minutes he noticed she

was asleep. He sat and considered what to do next. Finally he picked her up off the couch...she was surprisingly light. He

carried her into the bedroom and lay her down. He felt very tired and fuzzy in the head...... He stripped to his underwear and got in

the bed beside her..... Within minutes he feel into a very deep slumber without any haunting dreams. Late that night Hugo woke

.to the smell of cooking food..... He got up and found his pants before stumbling into the kitchen. Leah was cooking eggs and

.bacon. "That smells damned good." Hugo said...... "It was about all you had but that's okay." Leah said with a smile. She was

wearing one of Hugo's shirts and a pair of his short pants...... "Did you sleep alright?" Hugo asked...... "I slept great, but you could

have left me on the couch you know."..... "For some reason I wasn't in the mood to sleep alone."..... Leah shrugged and served up

the food. "Come and get it cowboy!" After they'd eaten their fill the went back into the little living room and turned on the tv. They

lit cigarettes and watched another old movie. "I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do now." Leah said all of a sudden. I

don't have any money, all my clothes are at Edwards place and I'm sure he's thrown them in the trash by now. I don't even

have a phone and don't know who I'd call even if I did have one." "Well, I don't have any money either." Hugo said. "But if you

don't mind doing a little walking we could go down to the cash advance and get maybe fifty or seventy five dollars. Then we

could go to the Goodwill and buy you some clothes on the cheap. Maybe even find you a pair of shoes you could walk in."

Leah stared at him..."you would do all that for me? First of all I want you to know you're not going to get any pussy for it. I'm

giving up men for good. I'm really a lesbian anyhow you know." Hugo was taken aback but he tried to play it cool. "Well, I said I

would do it and I meant it. Unless you have a better idea." "Actually I have a wonderful idea...let's smoke some more weed."

The next day was Monday. Hugo called in sick for work. The new friends went and got some cash before going to Goodwill.

Leah searched for clothes and Hugo browsed the movies and books. He found a couple of all VCR tapes that looked

interesting. Then he sat for a long while as Leah picked out her things. She was a woman and he knew that would take

awhile. An old man sat down beside Hugo and asked for a cigarette. They sat and smoked and watched as the customers

searched for the little treasures of their choice. At last Leah finished. Hugo paid for the large pile of clothes and even had

enough left over for more beer and a pizza. They stopped to rest in the park where they'd so recently met. There was no one

around so they got high again and drank a beer. Hugo lit a cigarette but felt a bit uneasy. "Are you really a lesbian...I mean most lesbians

don't have two guys if you know what I'm saying." "I'm bisexual, but I prefer fucking women."..... Hugo felt annoyed. .....His tone became sarcastic.

"I suppose a plastic dick is better than a real one...never goes soft and all that?"..... Leah rolled her beautiful violet eyes. "Men are hopeless,

always worried about whether their dick is good enough or whatever." .....Hugo killed what was left of his beer. He wanted an end to this conversation.

He wondered why in hell he'd

taken this bitch in and how would he get rid off her. Simply kicking her out would be for the best. He wondered about the best

way of doing it without to many complications...... Then he chided himself for even giving a damn. Women were nothing but

trouble. He decided to get a dog or maybe a gerbil...... He'd heard that some gay men put gerbils up their ass...... Why in hell

he'd thought about that was beyond him. Getting high so much was not a good idea. Leah was a bad influence and a bitch.

But she was beautiful. He wanted to see her naked, he had large breasts...... He wanted to suck on them and kiss them over

and over. He wanted a lot of things, that was his problem. ....."Let's go home and cook this frozen pizza."..... He suggested. He

decided that the park was nicer at night. If Leah was still at is place this evening he decided to walk back here and do some thinking...alone.

He fingered the switchblade in his pocket. He was glad it was there. He remembered the blood spurting was Edward's face and

he smiled. "You're acting strange. What are you smiling like that for?" Hugo was startled out of his

meditation. "Oh, I'm just not used to being high so much. Not sure I like it that well but I guess its ok. It makes you wonder

about so many strange things." Leah giggled nervously, "you are weird Hugo, cute but weird. I'm not sure if you're going to

make a good house broken pet...yet." Hugo put his hand on her breast and squeezed. She didn't seem to notice and puffed

on her cigarette. "I'm hungry, let's go." Hugo said. That night they got ready for bed. "Do you want to share the bed again?"

Hugo asked. "Or would you rather I sleep on the couch. I'll leave it up to you." "It's your bed, of course we'll share it. But I must

warn you no funny business...and I sleep naked except for my panties. Can you deal with all that?" Hugo was taken aback

again but he desperately wanted to see her breasts naked. He wondered about how large her nipples might be. "I can take

it." Hugo said. However his cock leaped and thrashed about in his pants. He didn't want Leah to notice so he walked out on

his deck for a few minutes to smoke. He sat there for a very long time, over an hour. He was excited that there would be a

naked girl in his bed but how could he not touch her? If was a paradox. As last he gave up and went to sleep on the couch.

Fuck it, he reminded him self before finally falling into a restless slumber. The next morning he had to get up early and go to

work. He went to peek into his bed room. Leah was gone. She wasn't in the bathroom either. All the clothes he'd bought her was

gone. "Well, that was the end of that." He said to nobody. Then he called in sick again before spending the day in bed.

A bed that smelled like Leah. Weeks passed and Hugo was haunted by the memory of Leah, he even bought some pot

and smoked it to re-capture some of the emotions he recalled from that special time.

Sherry never crossed his mind any more. She called once to ask how he was doing. All he could think of was getting the conversation

over and done with. Before he had literally prayed she would call. Unfortunately he did have a run in with Edward.

They met on the street. "I'm going to kill you one of these days you bastard." The big man growled at Hugo. The smaller man

tried to remain aloof. "Maybe, but I carry a gun now instead of a knife." Hugo lied.

The bluff seemed to work because Edward snarled and went on his way. Hugo felt good about how he'd stood up to the bully

yet again but the final curtain on the situation had hardly fallen. A few days following his encounter with Edward on the street

Hugo found himself having a beer in a little bar that he'd visited for the first time. He wasn't the type to hang out in bars, he felt

that people who did so were pathetic, but he wasn't quiet ready to go home alone and face another long night with just the tv and his new gerbil.

Hugo was just about to order another beer when Edward and another big burly guy burst into the bar. Then ran straight for

Hugo. Quickly his hand flew to the switchblade but the bartender brought a heavy club down on Hugo's arm and sent the

shiny blade skittering away across the bar. "We'll have none of that in there." The barkeep growled.

At least Hugo got the first punch in. It was a quick right that caught Edward across the bridge of the nose. The crunching

sound of bone breaking was especially satisfying but it was only a brief victory. The muscular guy

with Edward got behind Hugo and grabbed his arms. Hugo gave him a hard elbow in the ribs that make the attacker grunt

but it was to little to late. Edward's big fist pummeled the boy until he fell unconscious to the floor. The two big men kicked him a

few more times before the cops showed up and broke it up. Hugo was a bloody, crumpled mess. He woke in the hospital.

Everything was strange and blurred, the doctor had ordered heavy medication and the young man was numb. With

assistance from a nurse he got up and went to the bathroom. ....Everything hurt, even pissing was painful. Hugo looked at

himself in the bathroom mirror. ....His entire face was a purple mass of battered flesh. His eyes were bloodshot and one

refused to focus just right. He moaned and crawled back in bed, his back ached and he asked for more pain medication.

Soon, it came and he fall back into a deep sleep..... This was his routine for a few days, he sucked his meals through a straw

and could barely stand more than a couple of minutes out of bed. .....No one came to see him. His mother was gone and his

brother didn't give a damn. ....Hugo fell into a depression. ....Sometimes he thought of Leah and that was a bad thing because he would start to cry.

Despite it all he slowly got better a bit at a time. His face still looked terrible had he had to wear glasses but eventually he could get around ok

for long lengths of time. He begged the doctors to let him go home and they finally agreed. "Here are you discharge papers Mr. Lee, sign

them here and here and you will be free at last." Hugo snatched the papers from the tech and scribbled quickly. Then he started to go. "Oh wait,

we must wheel you out you know. Its hospital policy. Just be patient for a moment and an orderly will be here to take you downstairs." As

promised an orderly soon came to the room pushing a wheelchair.

"Here you go sir, get in and we are on our way out of here." Hugo was stunned, the orderly was Leah. "Oh hi, I didn't

know you were working here?" He stammered. The girls eyes narrowed and she looked hard at Hugo's face. "Is that you

Hugo? Damn, what happened to your face...its a mess." "Thanks." Hugo replied angrily. He sat down heavily. "Let's get the hell out of here."

Curiosity seemed to get the best of Leah. "Were you in a fight or something?" "You friend Edward and some thug beat

hell out of me in a bar and I really don't feel like talking about it anymore." Leah fell silent until the made it outside.

"We took the liberty of calling you a cab, it should be here any moment. Just for the record, I'm gonna give Edward some hell for doing this to you."

Hugo got out of the wheelchair and frowned. It made his face hurt like hell. "You went back to that asshole?" Leah looked

down. "What else could I do, you acted so strange that day we went shopping together and that night...well, I was all hot

and bothered and you had to go sleep on the couch. I thought I was doing you a favor by getting the hell out and fast.

I went back to Edward because I had no place to go.

Then I got this job a couple of weeks ago, then darn if we don't bump into each other again. It sure is a small world."

"No we live in a small town. I guess I was acting a bit oddly, but like I told you...I wasn't used to being high all the time...my

brain was a bit fuzzy and my Mom had recently died and my girlfriend had just left me." "Ok, I get the picture big boy. Say I

get off work in a few minutes, wanna meet me somewhere and smoke some weed?" "I guess that'll be ok, meet me in that

park near where I live and we'll talk for a few minutes if you're sure Edward won't show up and kill me."

"Oh, don't worry about him, he is out of town for a few on business. Let me tell you I wasn't sorry to see him go either." The cab came and the couple said their goodbyes. Hugo had the cabbie drop him off in the park after visiting a liguor store. He sat there for two hours but Leah never showed. Finally Hugo walked home and flushed his dead gerbil down the toilet.

The poor thing had starved to death. Then he called work and said he was feeling better and would be back in a couple of days.

Afterwards, Hugo opened the bottle of gin and drank until he passed out.

Early the next morning he was awakened by someone pounding on the door. His head hurt and he staggered to answer the door. It was Leah.

"What are you doing here, I don't feel well...I want to be alone." "Please let me in." Leah pleaded. "I couldn't make it yesterday because my relief

called in and I had to work a double. I wanted to call you but I remembered you didn't have a cell and I couldn't remember you home phone number."

Hugo shrugged and let her in, "whatever the fuck he groaned." Then he gingerly made his way back to the couch where he collapsed in a heap of

hangover. "So what are you going to do today?" Leah asked, as if nothing was wrong with the boy. "Die hopefully." He answered.

He felt so bad, even her beauty didn't much impress him. He asked for a cigarette and she gave him one. The smoke made his

head hurt a little less. "Look Leah, I have been thinking, maybe you shouldn't come around here. Edward is a real bastard and I

think I'll kill him if I can...and I'm

 

serious about that. It's kill or get killed as far as I'm concerned. And furthermore, I don't buy you little myth about wanting to

fuck me. What girl in their right mine would bother to fuck a pathetic loser like me anyhow? I'm not sure what you want other

than a place to hide from your psychotic boyfriend. That's it, isn't it." Leah sighed. "Well in a way you are right, Edward is

becoming more brutal with every passing day. He has hit me a few times but I can tell the big one is gonna happen every day.

I got to get away from that fool for real. I have a job and hopefully I can get my own place soon. I was wondering though if I could

crash here for a little while until, you know, I can get back on my feet. Edward doesn't know about this place and we'll be safe."

"And if I run into him on the street?" "Maybe stay off the street until he cools down, or get a gun." Hugo felt like the biggest damn

fool that ever lived but the words came out anyway. "I guess you can stay, but since you got a job you got to help

pay bills. I'm way behind after being laid up in the hospital." "Great!" Leah stated emphatically. "Now let's get a cab and go get

my things before Edward gets back in town. And I will gladly pay my way but that means we aren't going to fuck. This is strictly

business." "Whatever, you bitch, in the meanwhile roll us a joint. I have it stashed in my closet." Things went pretty well for the

first few days. Both were working a lot and at night they would get high or drunk and watch tv together before Leah would go to

bed and Hugo would crash on the couch. Leah was a pretty decent cook and that made up for a lot of things because Hugo

was a terrible cook and went around undernourished most of the time. He enjoyed the good food and company. Then one

night Leah came home with some porno movies. "What the fuck are you trying to do to me?" Hugo protested as Leah got high and

watched porn. "What's you problem Hugo? I enjoy watching a little girl on girl action every now and then. If you can't take it...go

for a walk or go in the bathroom and jackoff or whatever...Okay?" Hugo threw his hands up in disgust and poured himself a big

stiff drink of gin. Then he sat in his battered recliner and proceeded to get drunk and endure another night with

his weird ass roommate. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Hugo got up quickly and turned the tv off before going to get the door.

"Dammit Hugo!" Leah exclaimed. "Just until I get the fucking door...ok?" Hugo growled in response. He opened the door to

find the last person in the world he expected. It was a cute blond girl. Her name was Lois, she was Sherry's younger sister.

"Hi Hugo, I'm sorry for barging in like this...I was kind of worried about you. You never come around to all the old hangouts

anymore. My big sister was awful to you. I'll never understand what came over her." Suddenly Leah appeared behind Hugo,

"hello." She said. "Hello." Lois replied. The two women sized each other up for a moment before Lois broke the awkward

silence. "Well, I don't want to intrude. I guess you are doing better than I expected Hugo. Good for you. I should be going now."

"No wait Lois, let me walk with you for a moment." Hugo slammed the door in Leah's face. Then he took Lois's arm and

escorted her down the walk. "That's only Leah. She's just a friend. He boyfriend was beating hell out of her and she asked to

stay with me a few days until she finds a place of her own. She's really a pain in the ass, just sits around most of the time

drinking and smoking dope and wishing she had a lesbian girlfriend to get freaky with." Lois's eyes flashed but they also

betrayed relief. "Oh, she sounds terrible. First Sherry dumps you then this. You poor boy. What happened to your face, and

when did you start wearing glasses." "Oh...err...I got mugged outside a bar. They worked me over pretty good and...err...I'll look

better in a couple weeks. My vision is a bit fuzzy since the attack and that's the reason for the glasses." "Hugo, that's so terrible...you

have the worse luck. Do you

need a hug?" Hugo took the petite girl and his arms and squeezed gratefully. She was soft and yielding against his hard body. He'd

always wanted to make a pass at

her but there was Sherry. Sherry was out of the picture now however. The embrace lasted a long time. "You have no idea

how I needed that Lois...thank you, thank

you so damned much." Lois' face seemed to glow. "I was truly worried about you. Sherry always said you'd probably

kill yourself if she left you. I was afraid she might be right because I never see you around anymore." "Well, I don't get

out much lately. In fact I've been in the hospital. Now I'm paranoid about leaving the apartment. You should now that I truly appreciate you coming by.

Sometimes I get the feeling that nobody even gives a damn you know. I guess part of the reason I let Leah move is was

because I'm just so damned lonely. I had a gerbil but it died when I was in the hospital." "She's very pretty, this Leah. I have

to admit I'm a bit jealous of her. I always had this weird fantasy that you were my boyfriend instead of Sherry's. I know its silly

but all girls do stuff like that you know." The girl hesitated for awhile before continuing. "Are you sure you two aren't, well you

know...fucking?" "Hell no, she's a lesbian I told you?" "But didn't you say she had a boyfriend." "Well...yeah but it was one of

those weird relationships....you know. They never had sex. He just got off on watching her make out with other girls. It was that

freaky sort of relationship that they had."..... "That's sick." Lois said as her eyes flashed disapproval. "When are you going to

get rid of her." "As soon as possible. I would have never let her stay with me in the first place but I was so lonely and

depressed...and she was nice to me when I was in the hospital...... She works there you know." ....."Oh, I see, well here is my

number. Call me as soon as you lose the lesbo... and please make it fast, my butter is melting for you handsome."..... Lois

hailed a cab and Hugo tramped back to his place more confused than ever. .....What was he to do? What a fucked up situation.

He looked at the number Lois had given him and his head reeled with the possibilities...... He had always wanted to get in her

pants but never thought he'd get the chance because of Sherry. .....To think he had almost totally forgotten about her...damn!

Hugo went inside his flat to find Leah naked on the sofa...... The porn movie was back on and Leah had her fingers busy in

her bush. She looked up dreamily at Hugo...... "I'm glad you got rid of that little bitch, care to join me loverboy?"