Cornucopia of Ironic Matters

Probably everyone here’s heard of the classic fairy tale, ‘Cinderella.’ You know, the one with the mistreated girl and the awesome magical fairy godmother who makes all her problems go away by means of a transforming pumpkin and a pair of glass slippers?

 Yeah, I hate that story. You know why? I don’t care if you already know. I’m telling you again. The focus of attention is always on Cinderella, poor Cinderella, pretty Cinderella. The fuck is up with the name, Cinderella anyways?!

Her name is Ellie and she slept with Prince Raymond once and blackmailed him into marriage with all the naughty pictures I was forced to take. The evil stepmother and stepsisters are all an exaggeration of a family of Quakers. No talking mice or fucked up cat in here.

More importantly, what about the fairy godmother? Did anyone stop to think that the fairy godmother had a life too? And who said I was an old hag?! I’m 113 but that’s not old in fairy years. Hell, I’m still pretty young and well sought out by all the fine female fairies. Awwwwww Yeah.

That’s right.  I’m not even female and the impressive thing hanging between my legs can prove it. Suck on that you misled fools! (cough…sexual pun not intended…probably)

Oh yes… back to the main issue here. Currently, I, a young, dashing fairy of noble birth am stuck in human form for God knows how long. My human form isn’t that much different from my fairy form other than the fact that my wings are gone and I’m now visible to humans and animals alike. Although my blood-red locks did lose some of its luster and my skin no longer seems to sparkle. Yes, there are other mythological creatures that sparkle than gay vampires.

Anyways, how was I to know that the Belgian chocolate that was meant for the future king was actually poisoned and as a side effect on an immortal fairy like me, actually sapped away my powers?  It was only a teensy tinsy chocolate truffle and I didn’t even get to eat all of it before I started choking and hacking out my magic.

Now because of that my life is ruined and I’m locked in a cell because Prince Ivan, Raymond’s older brother, think's I’m a perverted spy.

                                                                                                                    

2 more weeks. Only two more weeks until Cinderella, cough err…Ellie, comes back from her honeymoon with a rather distraught Prince Raymond.

“Copper, dear, be a sweetie and take care of all the wedding gifts while were gone,” Ellie had asked. Asked was an understatement. Ever since the red-haired fairy was assigned to the devious bitch, her word was law.

“Oh look at the poor child over there,” they had said “She’s sleeping on the hard floor and her family doesn’t even care. What a miserable girl. You will be assigned to her.”

As if….it turned out later, that on that day, Ellie had come home piss drunk and was too out of it to get in to bed. At that point, her stepfamily had long given hope on her. By the time the mistake was pointed out, it was too late. Copper was already bonded to her and whether he liked it or not, he was stuck watching over her ass for the next 7 years.

Copper sighed as he stared at the hordes of wrapped and unwrapped gifts galore that lay before him. Normally, he’d be squealing in excitement at the anticipation of tearing into the gift wrap and admiring each present, but the sheer magnitude and amount of the pile drained out majority of the fun.

Though his translucent wings were not beating, he floated on his belly, using magic to levitate himself.

“Cups, plates, jewelry boxes, what in the name of-“ amongst the common household items, was a bright pink polka-dotted thong. Copper shuddered, not wanting to know if it was used, and was once again grateful for magic for giving him the power to hold carry items without actually having to touch them.  The undergarment was quickly discarded into the waste bin.

Rummaging through the myriad of boxes, a strand of the fairy’s magic procured a box of chocolate, causing the redhaired fairy’s ears to perk up. Fairy’s did not require any food for sustenance. Most of their energy is obtained from the essence of nature around them. In other words, it was absorbed.

However, sweets were different. They acted as a form of aphrodisiac and were highly addicting to fairies. Particularly chocolate…oh god! The heavenly waft drifted to his nose. It’s been so long since he’d allowed himself any.

Copper gulped. Ellie and most likely Raymond wouldn’t miss anything. Besides, he felt that he deserved it after all the cleaning up he had to do after Ellie’s drunken fits and tainting his poor fairy innocence by taking those repulsive blackmailing photos(he still gets nightmares about that day.)

The effect of the chocolate was instantaneous. Heat immediately spread throughout his body particularly around his groin. He let out a moan in ecstasy, wanting to reach his hand lower to take care of his sudden problem but too overcome by the sudden bout of passion to control his own body.

It turned out the effect of the poison was instantaneous as well. As quickly as the passion had come, a sudden pang of pain followed and Copper immediately began choking, clawing at his throat where the chocolate bit was lodged and the poison had begun to take effect. His wings started to disintegrate and the magic began to drain from his fingertips.  Everything created by his magic was disappearing, including his own outfit.

The finely made fairy silk tunic and trousers fell apart now with no magic to hold them together and the levitating fairy was left crashing face flat on the red silk carpet naked and still quite aroused with a loud ‘oof!’

And as fate would have it, of course it would be the perfect timing for someone to enter the scene. Particularly Ivan, the older brother of Prince Raymond, who had come in to find out what the strange noise coming from his baby brother’s room was. In doing so, the future king of Aoyrlia was granted the opportunity to look face to face with Copper’s virgin ass still up in the air.

Slowly standing up, Copper, still blissfully unaware of his own perilous situation, brushed off the nonexistent dust off his nonexistent tunic. After all, the only one human who should be able to see him is his fairy godchild. It didn’t matter if he was naked…….wait…….naked as in butt-naked? “Wait a minute…where in God’s name are my clo-”

“Guards!”

“Huh?”

A strong hand wrenched Copper’s much smaller one and he was soon face to face with a pair of angry green orbs.

“Who are you and what are you doing in my brother’s room?”

 

Work in progress to pass my summer vacation :P

I wish you all a good night as it is currently 2 in the morning.

If you think this story's alright, then drop by and say 'hello.' If not, then whoop-de-do! I wasted 3 minutes of your life. Man, even unintentionally, I'm a master troll.