Bittersweet

“C’mon Lorilei, push! Just a little more now!” urged Ruby, worry evident in her cerulean eyes.

“Shut up,” I grunted in reply, my voice hoarse from screaming. The pain was unbearable, and yet here I was, bearing it. I could feel the baby making progress, knew that they could see the top of her head now. I took a deep breath and pushed hard, counting to three, then releasing, only to push again, twice as hard, three times; the lack of air forcing me to stop. Ruby mopped the sweat from my brow.

“You can do it, Lorilei.”

“Didn’t I just tell you to shut up?!” I roared in response. She looked wounded, but I didn’t have the strength to feel bad. I had to push, and push I did. This time, I felt the pain as the head came out and shoulders stuck in the exit. I screamed loud and I knew that if I didn’t push there would be no relief, that there would be nothing but pain. One more time...then sweet relief as the baby left my body.

Esther caught her, and seconds later the placenta followed. Like a pro, she cut the cord and took the baby.

“Ya did good Lorilei, ya really did,” Ruby whispered, brushing the loose strands of hair from my face. I didn’t bother to respond. I lay there, exhausted, reflecting on how this all came about on that horrible night so long ago.

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I left the banquet while the night was young. I hated these socialite events, listening to everyone gossip about this and that, having to maintain a happy aura when all I wanted to do was kill someone. I didn’t fit in. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out. My short height, my emancipated figure...even my short hair set me apart.

“They cut it off while she was institutionalized...”

Yes, I was a social pariah.


It was quiet outside. The air was sweet and fragrant, a typical spring evening in Manitoba. It was foolish of me to walk around dressed as I was. It was arrogant of me to believe I was untouchable. It would prove to be my undoing.

I didn’t feel like heading straight home. Reginald wouldn’t be home for hours. I wanted to be alone, but not trapped. I walked and walked, eventually ending up on an obscure path alongside a creek. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I wasn’t paying attention. It wasn’t until I heard the branch snap right behind me that I realized I was being followed. I felt a pair of hands grab me, pulling me around and slamming me against a tree. I gasped and twisted around, pain shooting through my ribs. It was then I saw a face I knew so well.

“You...” I managed, just as he slammed me again, making me see stars. I fell to the ground. I couldn’t think straight.

“You little bitch,” he muttered as he unbuckled his belt. “Did you think you could escape so easily? You ungrateful whore...I’ll show you...” He undid the button on his pants, and pulled the zipper down.

I turned over and tried to crawl away but he kicked me in the ribs. I felt the bones breaks, tasted the blood in my mouth. I dropped, and he was on me. In that red haze I felt him tear at the skirt on my dress. I felt his cock being rammed unceremoniously into my unwilling flesh. It was then I began to scream.

“That’s it, scream. There’s no one around to hear you except me,” he grunted. “That’s it little girl...”

My yells ebbed away into pitiful cries as he slammed into me over and over. I could hear the sickening slaps of flesh hitting flesh. I wanted it to be over.

A few more wicked thrusts, and then that burst of warmth as he came in me. His sigh of satisfaction was the ultimate sign that he was finished with me for the time being. He gave a few gentler thrusts, and then withdrew; leaving a slick wet trail forming on my thighs. I gagged as the scent of him corrupted my nose. I stayed down on the ground as he stood, waiting while he fixed his pants, not wanting to draw anymore attention to myself.

“Remember Lorilei, you’re mine. You can run, but I’ll always be close behind,” he rasped. He turned me to face him. “Do you understand?”

I nodded in despair. He spat in my face, then rubbed it in the dirt and left me there to gather up the broken pieces of myself.

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Esther brought the child to me, wrapped up neatly in a blanket. “Did you want to-“

“I’ll take her,” I said simply. Esther nodded and passed the child to me. The little girl was crying, outraged at being brought into the cold and dry air. I understood. Reluctantly I allowed her to latch onto my breast, ignoring the worried looks Ruby and Esther were giving me. I focused on the baby latched onto my breast.

What a bittersweet reward life had given me. A beautiful baby girl. My daughter.

My sister.