My trip to Florida

"Mommy, mommy look at me, look at me."

"Yes, baby I can see you."

"For the 100th time." I added, whispering to myself, slowly massaging my temples.

I sent him a shy smile that immediately disappeared as soon as he was on the other side of the carousel. I knew that once he would pass by and see me, he would yell again. I looked at my watch and sighed. Twelve thirty. Eight more hours to go. How will I ever make it to the end? We've been there since nine in the morning and my excitement was fading one minute after the other. The sun was burning my skin, I was sweating like a pig and my feet were killing me.

"Mommy, mommy. Can you see me?"

"Yes baby", I yelled again, instinctively, leaning against the iron gate.

I looked at his smile and this time, felt a real grin stretch my lips. He was so worth it. His laugh echoed with those of the other children and I felt happy. He meant everything, the world, the whole universe to me. I would do anything and everything for him. What other reasons why would I be putting myself through all of this? The wind and the excitement had redden his cheeks and his black hair, and just like mine, was floating around in every directions. I could see his little hands tightly holding on to the handlebars of the blue little plane he had chosen, his eyes shinning.

He looked so much like his father. My heart ached at the thought and I quickly brushed it away. It didn't matter that they looked alike physically, the most important thing was that in the inside, they were different. And I would make sure of that.

"Who hoo mommy, look at me."

This time I just waved at him, feeling my throat dry. I wanted to take a sip of the soda I had in my hand, but remembered that if I did, there wouldn't be much left for him to drink, and I couldn't afford another one. Everything at this mother fucking park was expensive. Five bucks for a freaking soda. And the cup was the size of the kiddie cups they served at McDonalds. I was beginning to regret coming all over again when I saw him smiling and bit my lips.

I wiped a river of sweat that was running down the side of my face and painfully licked my perched lips, feeling my throat hurt from trying to swallow dry saliva. Sweat was running down my back getting my light flowery dress completely soaked. I opened my bag, searching for something to tie my hair with. There. Not a big difference but at least it wasn't stuck to my skin anymore.

I sighed painfully. They said two minutes, this is much more than two minutes, damn it. At least if I could go to a fountain, I could take a few sips and quench my thirst. I felt, yet again, a puddle of sweat stationed on my forehead and wiped it again with the palm of my hand. I was in hell. Literally.

"This weather is really terrible is it not?"

I sharply turned in the voice's direction but quickly closed my eyes as the sun sent his rays directly into them. Putting my hand up as a visor, I looked up again to see a man, observing me, a smile on his face. He was wearing a plaid shirt loose on a pair of washed up jeans and a pair of glasses hiding his eyes. I had to admit that he was good looking.

"Yes, unbearable." I finally answered, turning away, hoping that he would get the hint and go away. I licked my lips again and looked at the water droplets that were running down the cup, from the ice melting inside, and thought about licking them. Just to moist my lips a little bit.

"Mommy"

"Yes, baby." I waved again at him and looked at the ride operator. He was talking and smiling to a girl and I understood why he had let the ride go on for so long. He wasn't even looking at the kids. I frowned, thinking about going over there to give him a piece of mind and make him realize that some people were tired of just standing there.

"Your son is very handsome."

Not him again. I didn't even bother to look at him this time, hoping, no, praying that he would leave me alone. But my good manners forced me to answer anyway.

"Thank you."

I impatiently took a glance over at the operator again, looking for a way to him. All the parents were leaning against the gate surrounding the ride just like me and I would need to literally go through them. My feet reminded me again of the long hours they'd always spent carrying me and the thought ran away as fast as it came. But just like magic, I heard a big thud and saw the ride slow down. I sighed again, this time feeling relieved. Well, we were in the place where magic happens right?

The gate opened and I bent down to welcome my son into my arms.

"Did you like it?" I asked him, laughing by raspy breaths.

"Oh yes mommy, it was awesome."

I offered him the drink and he sipped off the straw sticking out.

"Can we go to the go carts now please?"

He was already pulling me very hard and I almost lost my balance. But promptly standing up, I pulled him back.

"Yes honey. But I need to go drink some water first." I explained to him, his bright caramel eyes looking at me intensely. "We'll just go and find a water fountain, I'll drink some water and then I'll take you wherever you want to go all right?"

"Why don't you just buy a bottle? You always say not to drink in water fountains cause the water may not be safe."

I felt a squeeze in my stomach. How could I explain to him that all the money that I was saving went into all the preparations for the trip? How could a five year old understand that? I ruffled his hair and pinched his rounded cheek.

"I know what I said and it still stands. You should never drink from them, but right now I'm saving the cash we have so I can buy you something to eat okay?"

But he was looking at me with a pout and I knew more questions were coming my way.

"If it's not good for me, how come it's good for you?"

"Well…" I started to answer but draw a blank. He must have sensed it cause he added almost immediately.

"I'll share my drink with you mom, you don't need to drink that water."

I leaned again in front of him, tears filling up my eyes.

"Oh baby." I couldn't say anything else so I hugged him. He took the drink again from my hand and this time, put the straw against my lips. I opened them and sucked the cold liquid in my mouth. Just a tiny bit though... but it felt really good.

"Thank you love."

"You're welcome." He grinned widely at me and I hugged him again.

"Mom… stop hugging me. People are watching." he twisted his little body in my arms and I laughed, letting him go. "Can we go to the carts now? Please mom, please, please, please."

"Okay, okay" I agreed more to shut him up more than anything. He pulled me by the hand and I followed him through the crowd, giggling, thanking God for giving me such an amazing son.

It was around 3 o'clock when he finally decided that he was hungry. In spite of my hurting feet, I skipped with him to the middle of the castle, stopping every now and then to get an autograph from Goofy or Donald or Prince Eric, to finally arrive at the little kiosks where they sold all kinds of food. Once again, I wanted to die looking at the prices. Making a quick mental calculation, I realized that all I could offer him was a salted pretzel and another small drink. Shit. He was standing in front of the board where the menu was written with colorful chalks and touched an item.

"Mom, can I have a hot dog please?"

It was 2 dollars more than the pretzel. It was either that or skipped the drink. But I couldn't afford for him not to drink, after all the running and screaming he's been doing.

"Do you want a pretzel instead? It's healthier."

He pouted. "No. I want a hot dog."

I leaned in front of him again and framed his little face with my hands.

"I know you do honey." I tried to talk with a firm voice but the emotions were clouding it. "But right now, you can only have the pretzel plus another drink."

"Why?" he whined, his mouth elongated. I decided to come straight, tell him the truth.

"Because that's all I can buy for you right now. I don't have a lot of money left."

He looked at me, puzzled then lowered his head. All my insides hurt, I was feeling so incompetent right now. How good of a mother was I? I put a finger under his chin and raised his head. "I'm sorry baby. But tomorrow, when we'll fly back home, we've got everything we need in the fridge to make hot dogs and we'll make as many as you'd like, okay?"

He shook his head, his eyes still on the floor. "It's not the same thing."

My throat was hurting, not only because of my thirst still very much alive but because of the pain that came from my chest and was trying to suffocate me.

"I know." I couldn't find anything else to say. I stood up and made him follow me, still holding his hand. We stood in the line, found a quiet table at a corner and I watched him eat his pretzel in silence.

"I'm so proud of you, honey." I whispered taking a strand of hair out of his face. He looked at me, smiled and offered me a little piece of his food. But I declined.

"No thank you." my voice was breaking. I was starving.

The last time I ate was at the free continental breakfast they offered at the hotel. I turned my head to look at everybody, happily chatting around us and then I saw 'him' again. He was walking in our direction, a tiny little girl perched on his shoulders. Now that the sun wasn't in my eyes, I could clearly see him. He was of an average height but with broad shoulders. He was laughing, talking to the little girl and I curiously found him very handsome. His eyes were still hidden behind his sunglasses but I felt uncomfortable like he was watching me. I turned away to look at my son finishing eating and didn't care to look up again.

"I don't want it anymore." There was just a tiny bite left on the white paper plate placed in front of him.

"Come on baby. Just one bite. It won't kill you."

"No." he turned his head as I was trying to insert the food in his mouth. "Nooo"

"If you don't eat it… we're leaving. Right now"

He glared at me, panicking and furiously opened his mouth. I had to make sure he was full. Otherwise he would get hungry again before it was time to leave. After he finished swallowing, I tried a happy voice that came out all squeaky.

"What do you want to do now?" I took the map out of my bag and he stood up next to me, looking at it.

"We went here and there." His eyes were all shiny again as he was putting his little finger on the places he was showing. "Can I go on Splash Mountain?"

"Hum.. I'm not sure. I think there's a height requirement."

He pouted again but immediately jumped for joy when he spotted the Pirates of The Caribbean ride.

"Can we go , can we, can we?"

It was a long walk for my poor feet but that's why we were there, wasn't it? And he totally deserved it after winning the science fair at his school. I folded the map again and nodded.

"It seems like we keep on meeting up."

My heart jumped in my chest as I recognized the voice. I was finally sitting down on a blue painted rock while my son was clapping and laughing to Goofy's show, when he came up to me again. I nodded quietly, pressing my bag on my laps.

"Looks like it really is a small world after all."

He smiled his endearing smile and offered me a handshake.

"My name is Steven Ford. Nice to meet you."

I looked at it for a second and finally took it. His grip was really strong and firm though his fingers felt nice to the touch.

"Arlyn Morrietti."

"You come here often, miss… mrs..?"

I looked at him, a little amused. Was that a pick up line? Seriously? Probably seeing my weak smile, he ran a hand on his brown hair and laughed.

"Sorry. I'm usually better than this." Oh my God that smile. I felt my heart jump.

I turned away to see my son still jumping up and down, marveled at Goofy who was tripping all over the place. A sudden heat burn my arm as he gently brushed me, sitting on the rock. "May I?"

I scooted over, giving him more space. For some reason I was really disturbed by his presence so closed to me. Which was really, really weird.

"He is really excited."

"Yes he is." I smiled tenderly, eying my son before bopped my head to the side at the little girl I saw him with earlier, who was jumping as high as all the other kids. "You daughter isn't missing a beat as well."

I heard him laugh. "Yeah but she's not my daughter. Actually, she's my niece."

I turned to look at him but quickly turned away again.

"She's beautiful."

He didn't say anything and for a couple minutes we just sat there, watching our kids. When the show was over, they ran over to us and I heard him asking his niece if she had fun.

"Who's this?" the little girls asked, looking at us.

"This is miss… mrs…" I smiled again and answered, bending down to offer a handshake to the little girl.

"My name is Arlyn, but you can call Lyn. Nice to meet you." She looked for an approval look from her uncle who nodded to her and she finally shook my hand.

"What's your name?" I asked her.

"Ariel." she answered in a very soft voice.

"That's a pretty name. Just like princess Ariel. And you're pretty just like her." She smiled shyly and then I introduced my son. "Princess Ariel, this is my son, Charles."

My dear, dear son, put his hands in his pockets and muttered.

"I don't have a prince's name."

"Are you kidding me?" we all startled at Steven's voice. "Charles is a name for kings only."

Charles lifted his head to look at him, a sparkle in his eyes. "Really?"

"Yeah! " he nodded excitedly. "You have to be really strong, fierce and almighty to have a name like that."

My son raised both his arms and flexed his tiny biceps. "I am strong."

I couldn't help but laugh watching him.

"Oh yeah! King Charles, nice to meet you, you can call your subject Steve."

I felt a little shaken again seeing that tall, large grown man bow down in a big gesture in front of my baby boy. His eyes caught mine and I felt my cheeks blush a little.

"Well, it was nice meeting you…" I mumbled but Steven abruptly cut me off.

"Charles have you been on a horse ride before?"

His eyes widen along with his mouth dropping and he shook his head.

"Then now is a good time." he continued. "Ariel and I are heading to catch one on main street, wanna come with us? If your mom agrees of course!"

Our eyes met again.

"We don't want to impose." I was sincere, but he refuted, running a hand on his niece's hair.

"You are not, right Arie?" The little quickly shook her head, giving him more ammunition. "See." he continued, a huge smile on his face again. "You're not imposing."

All I can say is that the ride allowed my feet to rest and it felt really good. The kids were uncontrollable, wanting to touch the horse or couldn't find a comfortable spot to sit. But I enjoyed circling the whole kingdom: adventure land, fantasy land… it really felt magical. He asked me where I was from and I told him, telling him about the contest that Charles had won that gave us the possibility to come to Disney. He told me that he lived in Paris, liking Europe better. I didn't detect any accent, he laughed and said that he actually was born and raised in Utah.

And I have to admit that when the ride was over, I felt a little sad. I didn't try to analyze the feeling, just felt it and let my mind process it. I started to say goodbye again when Merlin the magician started his show and both kids ran away, giving us no choice but to stick together waiting for them.

"Are you going to stay until the fireworks?"

I frowned, it would be really late by then. "No, I don't think so." I shook my head negatively. "We're leaving tomorrow morning very early and I don't want Charles to be too tired."

"That's too bad. I heard they're a sight."

I felt his eyes on me. I blushed again, my heart jumping. And once again I didn't analyze it. I was an experience 29 year-old grown and experienced woman who knew that after this day, I would never see him again. So it didn't really matter that I was blushing like a little girl.

When the kids came back, yet again there was another excuse for us to stay together. And even tough the kid's tastes were very different, we ended up visiting a lot of rides together.

Right in the middle of Winnie The Pooh's adventure, Ariel insisted to be hungry again. I politely declined his offer to join them but my son insisted on going. Who can blame him? He was probably hungry too so I had no choice but to accept. He was such a gentleman, insisting on having us sitting down while he took our orders and brought them back, the food dangerously balancing in his hands.

Of course my stomach growled and hurt like hell after being empty for so long, but I really felt great, sitting there with them, laughing at his jokes and helping him wipe tomato sauce off Ariel's princess' gown. Then, there we went again. Calluses were hurting my feet so bad that I was limping a little bit. To my big surprise, he noticed and asked me if there was something he could do for me.

I smiled shyly, embarrassed at the thought of revealing what was wrong and simply said that I twisted my ankle. lame, I know! He offered me his help and I foolishly agreed to rest my hand on the cavity of his elbow, underneath his armpit, urging the excited kids to slow down. Again I wasn't thinking. How would I to know that I would feel his muscles play against my hand, that his arm would touch my breast at every step or that I would feel so weak in the knees? Maybe it was time to step back and finally put my mind to work.

But come on. I was a divorced single mother, working double shifts everyday in order to pay her bills and take care of her son. Was that so bad to enjoy being escorted by a handsome and charming man? I was in the land where magic happened and I was really feeling like magic was really happening.

By seven, we had practically visited every ride on the land where the little kids were admitted. Their books were filled with autographs in every single page, my one-time use camera out of poses and I couldn't believe how much energy they had left, after bouncing everywhere like that. I was exhausted. The temperature fell down considerably but it made feel sleepy. Steven never let go of my hand but only to run after the kids.

I looked at my son standing in front of me in the line waiting to get admittance to the 'It's small world' ride and I smiled again, feeling content. I was happy I used all my savings on this trip. He had worked hard to win the contest, therefore this wonderful trip and I just couldn't not bring him. I felt tears fill my eyes again. I am such an emotional idiot, but this time they were tears of joy.

We got inside the boat and somehow found myself sitting in the last row next to Steven, the kids in front. He was still keeping my hand under his, even after the ride had started. We entered a dark place and I smiled again when the kids clapped seeing the little villages and people sing and dance. I briefly felt something brush my shoulder then I heard Steven's voice near my ear.

"You never told me... Miss or Mrs...?" his voice was husky but I thought it was because he was whispering. But I trembled just the same and answered in a shaky voice as well.

"Miss."

He kissed my shoulder and deep inside I think something was urging me to slap him, make him stop, but something else, stronger, liked it, made my skin shivered. He ran a lazy tongue from my shoulder to the junction of my neck and I trembled even more, biting my lips to keep my mewl inside.

I felt his hand caressing my knee and instinctively, opened my legs. He was still kissing my neck when his hand went further and further under my dress, caressing my inner tights. I closed my eyes, hearing in a far distance the song that was playing in the background. His fingers quickly found their destination and I bucked my hips, feeling Goosebumps all over my body when he slowly ran his fingers on my soaked panties. His mouth was now sucking hard on my neck and I didn't know if it was his sucking motion or his thumb gently circling my clit that made me moan loudly.

"Shut." he whispered in my ears again and we both checked on the children to make sure that they didn't hear it. But they were too busy looking all around them to pay attention to us. So he slipped a hand behind my head and turned my head to him with the other. I put a hand on his chest, feeling his hard muscles and trembled again when I felt his tongue licking my lips. They parted and I soon tasted him, intertwining our tongues and exploring every corner of his mouth.

We both were surprised and disoriented by the sudden light shining on us and quickly got away from each other, looking all around us. I was out of breath and my cheeks were burning. I felt so guilty for what just happened but at the same time, impatient to experience it again. Charles turned around to look at me, shouting, pointing at a group of little puppet girls and I just nodded to him afraid that my voice would gave away all the chaos I was feeling inside. I furtively looked in his direction and I could have sworn I imagined all this. His eyes were fixed straight in front of him, his jaw clinching.

I tried to concentrate on the ride, feeling more embarrassed than ever. What was he thinking of me? I just wanted to dig a hole and disappear. I could not face him anymore, let alone keep on chatting like we were doing before. But just as if he heard my thoughts, I felt his hand timidly touch my knees again. I knew it was now or never to push it away before I made a bigger fool of myself, but like I said, he was so magical. Or was it the moment? Hell, I had no idea. All I could feel was his fingers going up again where they shouldn't. But instead of stopping him, I slid my ass down on the seat, sitting back to give him more access.

I looked at him again, holding my breath and he still hadn't budged, like he wasn't doing anything special while I was about to loose it. Two expert fingers gripped my lips, working them together before his middle slowly slid up and down my slits. My heat leaked out of me and I could feel it sliding down my pussy to run down to the crack of my ass. I wanted to grab his head to bring him down for a kiss again but his eyes were still kept straight ahead, his face unreadable. So I understood that I just had to enjoy the ride and I closed my eyes, praying that I would be able to keep it together.

Sliding his middle finger under my panties, he stroke it in and out of me, so, so slowly while his thumb went back to rubbing my most sensitive part. He was exciting me while keeping me at bay and not giving me exactly what I wanted. The need and fire inside of me needed to be explored, to explode but he was playing a game of fast and slow and I started to writhe, silently begging him with my body to release me from this mixture of plain, pleasure he put me under.

And out of nowhere, a second finger sneaked in and he finally decided to give it to me good and proper. He wriggled his fingers, rotated them within my folds, making my pussy drip even more, sticking up his fingers. I heard him scratch his throat and I opened my eyes just in time to see him lean his head down, looking at the bump in his pants.

But he didn't allow me a long time to appreciate the effects this all scene had on him when a third finger slid inside of me and I lost it. They stabbed me, picking up a steady rhythm, fast and brutal. The immense pleasure I felt made me dizzy and I rested my head on the back of the seat, my eyes closed, biting my lip to blood. All my senses were gone and my thoughts and body were directed at that heat building up between my legs. My hips started moving by themselves and he flicked my nub again, once, twice and the stars exploded, blinding me.

My knuckles turned white from pressing so hard on my bag. I moaned loudly when my body jolted, feeling his tongue on the tip of my breast through the dress. My body tensed up, my spine stiffened and the muscles around his fingers contracted and pulsed to finally release my juices on his fingers.

When I finally could open my eyes again and got my breath back, there were lights everywhere and it took me some time to realize that we had stopped and were now back in the loading dock. My body seemed to still ride some aftershocks and I shifted uncomfortably, just wanting to bathe in that glorious glow.

"Are you okay, mom?"

Oh shit, my son! Charles was looking at me, puzzled. My eyes wandered on Steven's face and blushed furiously when I saw an amused smile at the corner of his mouth. I ran a hand on my sweaty forehead and cleared my throat.

"I'm fine baby." Oh God, make it that he couldn't hear the trembling of my voice. "Why?"

"You look funny." Ariel said, giggling while Charles added. "Yeah... and weird."

Oh God, was I so obvious? Was I vocal? I didn't need to look at Steven to know that he was enjoying the situation. I pulled the loose hair out my face and started fanning myself with my fingers and answered, as naturally as possible.

"I'm fine. I'm just a little hot that's all. Don't you think it's hot in here?"

I finally turned to Steven who immediately nodded, his smile widening. "Yep. Very, very hot."

I chuckled nervously and turned to the children who were looking at us with curious and confused eyes.

"I think we should get off now."

Even when we got outside, I felt heavy stares on me like everybody knew what just happened. But that was impossible… right? Or could they read on my face my desire for him that was growing by the second. I should've felt satisfied but I wasn't. I didn't even know who he was, a complete stranger. I wanted to fuck a complete stranger. Great, now, my mind started working. That was all it took? A fucking mind-blowing orgasm for my webbed machinery to work up there?

Why didn't it stop me when I first felt the rush when he spoke to me in the evening? Why didn't it stop me from getting in that carriage and spending the rest of the day with him? And more importantly, where was my fucking mind when he was making me so happy with his fingers?

It hit me that I would never see him again. That was it. I just got one my most intense orgasm by someone that I would meet only once in my life. But instead of making me run away and not look back, I got even more excited. And that's when I decided that I wanted to leave him with something to make me unforgettable too. But where, how?

While him and the kids were discussing if they should go to another show or just go reserve a good place for the Parade, I took a glance at the map, still in my purse. We were in Fantasy Land. I needed a place subtle but distracting enough for the kids. I checked the time and realized we had just the time to catch the last viewing for the "Mickey PhilarMagic" show. Perfect.

The kids declined at first, insisting on waiting for the parade, but when I explained what the show was about, they ran head first into the theater.

The waiting line was rather short but I purposely, stood in front of him and rubbed my ass against him. His right hand was holding Ariel's and his left rested on my hips, pulling me closer to him. I made sure I had a good grip on Charles and slid my free hand in the space between us and ran it up and down his harden shaft, making him grow bigger. His fingers tightened on my hips when I searched for the tip, pressing it gently. Charles and Ariel were asking all kinds of questions and I was trying to answer as many as I could, Steven being silent. Once again it all seemed surreal to me.

I heard him groan very lightly behind me and I smiled. I was so enjoying it, I was feeling drunk. When we finally entered the amphitheater, I looked around me trying to find the right place. The kids were already wearing their 3-D glasses and were bouncing off the chairs but my smile was still very evident. Darting my eyes on Steven, I noticed him nervously tapping his foot on the floor. He was as much impatient as I was. After what seemed like an eternity, the room finally went black and the all the kids in the room started screaming, happy to see all their favorite characters come alive.

Our eyes instantly found each other's in the dark and I stood up pretending to go the restroom after making sure that the kids understood that they wouldn't move under any excuses, but they were already miles away, lost in the dream that was coming alive in front of their eyes.

I walked up to the crease in the wall I spotted earlier and happily noticed a big drape covering it. My body was wakening up again, anticipating doing what I had in mind. I leaned against the wall and smiled when I saw his silhouette walking up to me. Unbelievable how we could find each other in the dark room.

His lips came crashing on mine and I felt his strong arms circling me, pushing me behind the curtain. His tongue was playing with mine, teasing and I didn't waste time to find his belt buckle and getting him out of the pants. Freeing my mouth from his, I went down, kissing his chest on my way and heard him groan furiously when I licked the wet tip. His penis, bounced against my tongue and I had to hold it in place, before sliding it in my mouth.

He was filling up my mouth and I didn't need to go far for him to reach my throat. So I made sure to get the tip in while my hand was massaging the rest I couldn't take. I felt his fingers free my hair and run through it, moving his hips faster, going deeper. His grunts were louder and I felt him growing even bigger inside my mouth so I knew he was near relief. I took him even deeper down my throat, closing my mouth to control my gagging reflex but he framed my face and forced me to look up. I wasn't sure of what he wanted but when he insisted, I stood up but kept my hand down, stroking him up and down.

He stopped me completely and I got even more puzzled.

"You don't... like it?" I had to ask because I felt worried. I only had sex with my ex, Charles' father, who was my first and I never had a sexual relationship after him, but I was pretty sure that I was good at it. But he leaned his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. A minute went by before I heard his voice in the dark.

"Arlyn… I'm married."

The words hit my chest and hurt me in a way that I could've never felt possible. How was this possible? He wasn't wearing a ring... I closed my eyes, trying to keep the tears in but I felt them burn my cheeks as they escaped. We just stayed like that, his head against mine and me silently crying. But why exactly was I crying?

Shame, deception, regrets? I mean, it wasn't like I was expecting something more. I knew that I didn't know the first thing about him. I just wanted to seize the moment and go crazy for once in my life. It wasn't like I was thinking we would fall in love. He was just a freaking stranger. So why, why was I crying?

I felt his thumb wiping my tears but I couldn't open my eyes to face him.

"I wasn't expecting this, Arlyn. I wasn't expecting… you."

Another silence. Our bodies were stuck to each other, couldn't find the courage to go apart. His broken voice filled the room again.

"I can't understand what you do to me… since the minute I saw you I wanted to know you, to be close to you... I... can't understand why... That's not me... I don't do this. I… I never cheated on my wife before. "

His voice was broken into a sob then I realized that he was hurting just as much as I was. I felt even worse. It was my fault. If I didn't want to go crazy, loose my head, live in the moment, it would have never come to this… for him to cheat. I opened my eyes to look at him and saw tears on his face. I wiped them away as well and gasped.

"I'm sorry.. I should've never…"

He put a finger on my mouth, cutting me off.

"No… it's not your fault... It's all mine. I should've have told you since the minute we met... But... I didn't want you to leave… I needed you to stay with me…" His voice cut again and he lowered his head.

"I just wish that I wasn't…" it was just a whisper, but the words crawled into our hearts and built up a wall between us.

"But you are… married." I finished for him.

The light turned on in the room and he swiftly pulled his pants up while I was cleaning up my face and fixing up my hair. I walked away without looking back.

The kids were standing up, their eyes going everywhere in the room, looking for us. They ran in our arms, excitedly trying to put into words how amazed they were, oblivious of the uncomfortable silence between us. We weren't touching each other anymore, barely looked at each other and painfully talked to each other. I just wanted to go away from him. I couldn't bare it anymore.

But I had to stay until the parade was over, not wanting to disappoint my son. My throat, my heart, my pride, every single part of my body was hurting. Even the sparkle in my son's eyes wasn't enough to take the pain away this time. When the parade was finally over, Ariel jumped on me, balancing on my neck to tell me good-bye and I kissed her loudly on the cheeks. But I just gave him a head bop and a low "Bye" and headed to the ferries, to catch our bus back to the hotel.

Charles was curled on my laps, talking lively about everything that excited him for the day, when the fireworks lighted up the skies. He jumped off my legs and started clapping and jumping along with the other kids on the boat. I looked up. They were beautiful. In another situation, I would have probably clapped and jumped with him.

I lowered my eyes on him when he came up to me, hugging me with all the strength his little arms could carry.

"I love you mom. Thank you for such a wonderful day. I will never forget it."

Tears filled my eyes again and framing his face, I kissed him, whispering that I loved him more. He ran away and I looked up again. Somewhere among the crowd, back at the park, Steven was looking at the same fireworks. I took a deep breath.

I, too, will never forget my trip to Florida.