Of Malice and Deceit

This was a mistake. This was a big, big mistake.

“Are you ready Nichole?” Her brother turned towards her.

“Y-Yes.” She hoped he didn’t hear the quiver in her voice. She didn’t want him any more agitated with her than he already was.

“Nichole. This is for the best.” He sighed in exasperation and turned away from her.

“I k-kn-know.” She did know, but that didn’t make it any less a mistake. Who would believe their charade? Putting on pants and a hat did not make her a boy, nor a man. Not even close to a man. She was a woman of twenty three, damn it. There is no way that she could hide the roundness of her hips, her breast could be squished enough in their binding, but her hips could not. Her soft, round face could also not be made to magically become harsh lines and ridges of masculinity. But she said nothing of this to her brother, she never said anything.

“It’s time to meet him. Just relax and don’t say anything. Everything is going to be fine.” He had leaned towards her; she felt his breath on her ear. She swallowed hard and prayed that everything would be as fine as he said it would be.

“Come in.” The voice was even deeper than the knocks. She took one last shallow breath. Her brother led her into the room. She could not help but think of lambs going to slaughter.

****

“Hello sir. This is my brother-Nick.” James pushed her forward. She stumbled a little. The desk reached almost to her breast. The man behind the desk seemed a giant; his eyes were a strange pale blue, a blue that stood out intensely against his dark complexion. They were beautiful…and frightening, very frightening.

“He looks weak.” The giant stood up from his chair. He walked in front of the desk. He took her hand in his.

“Soft hands, small, no callous.” He dropped her hand. At this point she was shaking in fear. He grabbed her shoulder and turned her around.

“Fat, probably lazy. No muscle to speak of.” He turned her back around. He lifted her head. Her eyes watered, her lips trembled. She kept her eyes lowered; bit her lower lip so as not to cry. His eyes bore holes into her.

“What could I possibly use him for?” Even though the question was directed at her brother, he kept his eyes on her.

“Please sir. Just give him a chance. He’s a hard worker. And he’s real good with animals. He knows medicine and he can help.” James was pleading, this was the first time she’d heard him plead. She dared to raise her eyes. The giant’s eyes were even more breathtaking this close to her own.

“Fine.” The giant released her chin and walked back to his desk.

“He can start working on Tiny. He has an infection.” The giant was no longer pinning them with his cold stare, instead he was back to his papers.

They turned to leave, when the giant spoke up again. “Jim, you might think of staying close to him. The others might take Nicholas for target practice.” There was a small, malicious smirk on his face; it made him look evil. She shook her head.

“Yes sir. Come on Nikki.” James took her by the elbow. She took one last glance at her new boss. His eyes were on them again, or her, more specifically. ‘Was he looking at my…?’ She turned her head quickly, a blush staining her cheek. She couldn’t even think the thought to herself.

****

“See, it’s fine. Just fine.” She wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure her, or himself. They walked down the large grounds. The house was majestic. She had not noticed it the first time, her nerves not allowing her to perceive much. They walked down the hill, the grass lush underneath their soles.

‘Ah to feel that under my bare feet.’ She thought fleetingly.

They approached what she assumed were barns – three of them, all different sizes.

“Jim!” Someone called to their left.

“Barry!” Her brother replied exuberantly. The man approached and they hugged each other roughly, laughing.

“I’m glad you’re back. It was getting boring here without you.” Barry said with a big grin.

“Family, you know how it is.” Barry noted sagely.

“Oh this is my little brother, Nicholas. Call him whatever, he doesn’t care.” She did care, but again she wouldn’t say anything. Barry turned towards her. He was looked to be her brother’s age, around 28. He also looked a lot like James did, all American handsome, but instead light brown hair, his was blond.

“So this is the baby of the family, huh.” He smiled mischievously at her. She returned his smile nervously.

“Any family of Jim’s is a friend of mine.” He surprised her by quickly taking hold of her and bringing her into a tight hug. She gasped slightly. She did not return the hug, only stood stiffly. Barry let her go as quickly as he had taken her. Other workers came out, having heard the commotion. They had surrounded her. She realized that each one was at least a foot taller than her. She thought of Jack with his magic beans, ‘Did he feel this fear when he was faced with the giant?’

They surrounded James and her; asked who she was, roughly patted her shoulder in greeting. She stood still, said nothing. The only indication that she was there was the grimace she gave whenever one of the pats got too rough.

“Is he a mute?”One of workers asked her brother.

“No. He’s just real shy.” James slung an arm around her. A very brotherly hug, she was sure. The other workers murmured in understanding.

****

She couldn’t sleep again. She was afraid. Afraid every single day. Someone would find out, someone would figure it out. She’d been staying at Pierce’s ranch for three weeks now, and it was only a matter of time before someone figured out that she wasn’t just some weak man, but a stupid, desperate woman.

Her right thigh hurt. The horse had been a lot of pain and had caught her when she was retrieving the antibiotics. She hadn’t had a chance to look at the bruise, but from what she felt, it was probably turning a purplish-blue now.

She rose from her bed slowly, carefully so as not to wake up the other occupants of the room. She shared a room with her brother and Barry. Every room contained three workers. The giant had offered her a room in the main house. She didn’t know why, none of the workers stayed in the main house, except for Pierce and the few servants he employed. He, Pierce, had looked at her when he asked, a mean smile on his face. She had, like a child, hidden her face behind her hands and ran to James.

Her brother had quickly thanked him but said it would be better for her to stay close to him. She was after all just a boy of 15 who had just lost his parents. The age had been suggested by one of the crew hands. She was going to use her real age, but when Barry asked her what her age was, one of the crew hands had quickly exclaimed, “The boy can’t be older than 15 if at that. Look at that face. He doesn’t even have whiskers.” And so here she was, made a 15 year old boy.

The soft sound of her feet hitting the wood floor was not the only noise that night. She could faintly hear the sounds of the animals sleeping in the barn next to theirs’. Their abrupt snores and clicking of hoofs on the dirt ground made her clutch her frayed nightshirt tightly.

She had horrible nights. She woke up many times. Sometimes not being able to breathe, gasping for air that refused to enter her lungs. Those nights were the worst.

But tonight was not that kind of a night. She thanked whichever godly entity allowed this. Tonight was only a mild panic attack, and she was used to those. She had been having them since her thirteenth year. Her mother had been the only one capable of calming her down during one of those. After her parents’ death, there had been no one to calm her. It was only her. She managed however she could. Here, she realized, the fresh air and her bare feet against the soft grass worked greatly.

She opened the main door gently. She didn’t know why she bothered. All the man slept deeply, exhausted from a hard day’s work. But she was cautious, always cautious.

The first gust of air that entered when she opened the door filled her lungs and she inhaled deeply. She closed her eyes, took deep breaths and concentrated on the feel of the grass on the bottoms of her feet.

“You should be sleeping.” The casual tone made her jump. She turned around quickly and saw the giant leaning against the farm’s side.

‘Pierce! Pierce! He is not a giant. He’s just a person. Stop making him into something horrible. You don’t need those thoughts.’ Nichole admonished herself.

“I’m sorry. I’ll go back.” Her voice came out a whisper.

“No, no. Come here. We haven’t had a chance to talk. I want to know how my new employee is doing. Tell me, do you like it here?” He didn’t ask it in a curious manner, in fact that horrible smirk of his was back.

“It’s nice.” She whispered. She brought her arms up, almost covering her face, but remembered where she was, who she was, and quickly lowered them to her chest. She fidgeted. She hoped he didn’t catch the childish act. When she was younger, whenever she was confronted with something unpleasant, she would cover her face. Maybe if she didn’t see it, it would actually be there. Unfortunately, the childish habit had not left her, but she tried to contain herself around the men.

“Come closer. I can’t hear you.” He chuckled deeply, mockingly. She took two steps towards him and stopped. The smirk left his face.

“Come closer. I won’t tell you again.” He commanded. His eyes had hardened and his voice lost all playfulness. She moved closer until she was only a foot away from him.

“Now tell me again, how do you like it here?” He commanded again, his voice hard. She glanced up a little and saw his jaw flex. She didn’t think it was a good sign.

“It’s nice.” Her voice trembled. She clutched her hands tighter to her chest and looked down. She saw his left hand lying limp by his side. The knuckles were scrapped and bloody, like he had hit something with them. Shyly she let her gaze wonder to his waist, muscle evident even through the denim, and settled on the bulging front. Her cheeks turned a deep red, and she pulsed. She felt…naughty. She knew it was wrong to look, but she wanted to, and she did. She felt powerful in her badness.

“Good.” He said. She watched, awestruck, as he casually brought his hand to the bulge in the front and seemed to…rub it. And the bulge moved. Her eyes bugged out, and she gave out a little gasp. Her head snapped up to his face and she saw that the smirk was back. The feeling of power she felt before left her.

“I’m going into town tomorrow and you’re coming with me.” He still hadn’t stopped rubbing it. Nichole could not help in anymore, she brought her hands up and covered her face. She could handle some naughtiness, but this was too much for her. She heard him give a little laugh.

“Go back to bed. We’re leaving bright and early.” He had moved closer to her and stood only a few inches away. He gently brought her hands down. She was too surprised to stop him. When her hands were at her sides, he brought his hand back up and cupped her cheek.

“Now go back inside and to bed. I don’t want to see you come out here again.” She nodded. Her lips were open in shock, the bottom one swollen, red and wet from her assault on it. He brought his thumb out and stroked it. Nichole instinctively brought her tongue out to wet it again, but instead got the tip of his thumb. She jumped back, still tasting the saltiness of his skin, turned around and ran back to bed.

He stood there for ten minutes not moving…aside from the hand that had gone back to the bulge in the front of his pants.