Don't steal my waffles

Most would call our family odd; maybe it was because the outside eye didn’t know what we were. What things we got into, who our latest kill was.

The funny thing about growing up in the Mafia is everything was so serious on the outside but if you were lucky enough to make it into our home you’d see we are far from what everyone thinks about us.

My name is Ilario Marino and I’d like to welcome you into the life of me. Please keep all hands feet and objects inside while you face my day to day challenges.

Waking up to another man in my bed would normally be a good thing, just not today. Looking sleepily over to the teenager beside me I groaned. ‘Not again’ I though to myself as I pushed myself into sitting position. My older brother and twin was snuggling up against my body, this was a normal habit for the both of us.

Meet the first member of my wonderful family, Emilio he’s my twin brother. Black hair pale skin, yes we look like a mirror image of each other. Except for our eyes of course, while mine are a vibrant green his are white. Emilio had a rare type of eye disease as a child I always guessed this was the reason for his eye color. Emilio is hyper and bubbly but don’t push him there is a killer under his crack head appearance. Trust me I’ve seen him kill more men in one go then you can count on you’re fingers.

Now I got up out of my bed like I usually do, trying to miss making any body contact with the twin. I needed to start my day and what better way then to fetch me some delicious waffles, smothered in syrup! Just thinking about it makes me drool. I tugged on some random sleep pants that were on the floor. I guess they slipped off in my sleep, or maybe the twin had something to do with it.

Now time for my waffles, I left the room and headed down the hall. Now there was many ways to get to the kitchen, my room was the longest way from it no matter how many short cuts I took. It really did suck sometimes to be on the third floor of our humble home. Shrugging a continued to walk, now before you say this is getting boring we’re going to bump into someone I’ll bet you five bucks on it!

Turning the corner I walked into a very lovely lady, my darling Felice yes she was a knock out for all you straight guys out there, a nice rack an ass to kill for you can call that an hour glass shape baby! She had like me black hair except hers was long and a curly. Also very soft I should know I’ve woken up in bed with her before. Now before you get any ideas she’s Emilio’s girl friend not mine! So shut up and it was his bed the both of us can’t sleep well without being next to each other okay? It’s not like we’re into incest that was just one time! I was drunk and so was he enough said.

Now back to boobs on legs she was smiling at me I’m guessing she got some last night. By the way this girl loved anal, just like me! Oh what I would do to have a nice big cock in my ass right now. Just thinking about it gives me a hard on, hope boobs doesn’t notice.

“Ilario is Emi still in bed?” Boobs asked me I just lifted an eye brow as if asking her what the fuck you think. Now excuse me hoe I’d really like to get my waffles. Yep I called her a hoe, I act like Emilio at times and he calls her that a lot! Oh by the way have I mentioned Felice is our own cousin! Yeah Emilio’s fucked up like that.

Yep I walked passed her time to get my waffles, can you tell I love them more then my family. Me myself and waffles, that’s how I live my life, now to claim them. Since no one gives a fuck about me walking I should just skip it all and say I magically appeared down stairs! Yeah bitch I’m Harry Potter, how you like me now?

I walked into the dinning room, saw a couple my people already there. At the head of the table was our don, Michael he a tall man about six five dark brown hair a nice dark tan hot! Yeah I said hot anything wrong with it? Michael was one of the types of guys you didn’t fuck with, he was rich powerful and did I mention he kicked his own father out of his family! Yeah he took over the mafia kicking grandfather to his ass.

Next was my dad he was texting quickly on his cell phone, he was such a child sometimes. I think I got my homo from him, seeing how he was married to a man. Now back to father his name is Jamie and he’s a faggot, the look and everything. Blonde hair blue eyes pretty face a ass also to kill for. Next to him was my mommy! He looked just like me! Well he was my real father unlike Jamie. He had black hair and a dark tan! No one knows his real name not even daddy, but we have adapted to calling him Nino.

The last two at the table were my little boys, now let me say something first Emilio got me trashed and I woke up with these two and a adoption form! Yep no adoption agency says no to the biggest Mafia in Italy! Bow chika wow wow!
The oldest is my darling little Bryan, black hair black eyes tan skin! Why was everyone tan except me and twinny? Seriously. He was about a eleven and a handful but that’s what servants are for! Take care of your kid while you’re out fucking and killing. Next was Kevin he had just turned nine a week ago and he was a born hitman! He makes his father proud.

Now they were good kids except the fact that they were mortal enemies! Yeah like the Joker and Batman, orange juice and toothpaste! They did not go good together. Bryan claimed Kevin was out to steal his spot light, yeah I didn’t know he had one either. But what ever and Kevin just found him annoying!

Now enough with these losers, I set down in my regular chair, right by the don and waited for my waffles to get there. Looking around I opened my rather skilled mouth. “Good morning, my wonderful family!” I said smirking, oh how I loved to annoy them. No one spoke though, what a drag! You do not ignore me you whores!

Finally my waffles got here and I was just about to dig in when a hand grabbed the plate. Now there was only one person who would dare still my food and if is him oh he wasn’t getting any tonight, I would be sure of it!