A Father and A Brother

Six men and seven women, all wearing black, gathered in a small office. They were silent, as the events of the day weighed on them.
Their contemplations were broken when another man in a suit entered, carrying an envelope and a small box. “I'm glad you were all able to make it. I'm sorry I had to miss the service. I will make this brief. The will has been read but I was given further instructions for the day of the memorial when she was sure you'd all be here.” He opened the envelope and read its contents.
“Dearest children, this book contains a story that you all need to hear. Some of you will find it a bit off-putting, but it is a story I feel I need to tell. I want all of you, and your spouses, to read it.”
The man set the paper down and opened the box. The book was a small diary or journal with leather bindings. He handed it to the eldest in the room. “I will be off now.” he dipped his head to them, amongst their murmured thank yous, and left.
All those who remained stared at the volume. The eldest flipped it open. His wife, who sat next to him, looked over his shoulder. “It's in Rebecka's handwriting.” she said with curiosity.
One of the others voiced for him to read it out loud and the others concurred.
He flipped it back to the beginning and began reading.
~~~~~~~~~~~~*O*~*~O*~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My name is Susan Amanda Ford-Whitlock. The year I turned twelve my Mother remarried. The new husband had a son two years younger than me. I hated my new Father. He was nice I guess, but he took some of my Mother's attention from me. The only good part of this arrangement was my new Brother. Ben was quiet and shy, hardly speaking even at home. I loved him instantly. Sometimes I noticed a fleeting look in his eyes when he was around our parents, like he was afraid of his Father. But I was probably projecting my feelings for the man.
Not long after the wedding my Mother started getting more and more bruises. She didn't like to talk about them. She also started drinking more. At first she tried to hide both from us kids, but it soon got worse.
One night I was awoken to the sounds of shouting. I was too scared to move. I tried to cover my ears to block it out, but it still reached me. Suddenly my door swung open and there stood Ben. “Sis, can I sleep with you? I'm scared.” his voice quivered with emotion. I opened my arms to him, and he ran to me. We held each other close in the dark, and cried ourselves to sleep.
We were inseparable after that, we were stronger together. We both felt the need to protect the other. Mother's drinking got out of hand. Three years after they got married she died in a car crash while 'driving under the influence', as the police called it. I'm almost sure she did it to kill herself. I didn't blame her though, anyone would want to escape him.
A month later we moved to a small town on the outskirts of the city. It meant a new school for Ben and I. Ben became more nervous and made every excuse to stay away from his Father. That was one thing he never talked about to me. We would lay under the covers almost every night talking, but when I'd ask him why he hated his Dad he'd turn away from me. I didn't press him on it and it became the thing we never talked about. It was to be joined by another topic I never spoke of either.
I guess Father became lonely after Mother died, because one night he asked me to stay up with him and talk for a minute. Ben was already asleep and I had just finished cleaning up the kitchen. Father had come home very late, and we had waited on dinner for him. I agreed to talk, albeit warily.
At first he was all charm, like he'd been before the wedding. Like how he is around everyone else. He put me at ease, even offered me a glass of chocolate milk. I drank it quickly so I could leave, I was tired. He called me beautiful, said that I was growing up to be a lady. I smiled. I felt warm. He moved closer and I tried to move away but my body wouldn't cooperate. I started to feel panic but mostly I felt dizzy.
He picked me up and there was nothing I could do to resist. He carried me into his room and shut the door. I don't remember much of what happened after that, nor do I really want to. All I can remember is feeling intense pain but being unable to cry out. And also feeling very sore and incredibly dirty the next morning.
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I sat under the shower for a long time crying. I couldn't get his smell off of me. Ben became worried and knocked on the bathroom door several times. I managed to tell him that I wasn't feeling well, but that I'd be out soon. He accepted it, whether or not he believed me.
Later I told Ben he had to stay in his own room that night. He looked hurt but agreed. He hugged me and told me to be feeling better soon. I nodded and as soon as he was out of sight I ran to my room and locked the door.
Things settled down for awhile. Dad didn't try again to talk to me alone, for which I was grateful. About this time I also started noticing many of the girls from school, and their behavior around my Brother. They always wanted to sit next to Ben on the bus or at lunch. They laughed at nothing, and did other ridiculous things. For some reason this irked me. I didn't like the ways they looked at him. He never seemed to notice though.
One night we lay facing each other in bed. He slipped his hands into mine, entwining our fingers. “Promise me, Sue. Promise me, you'll never leave me.” He was so serious that it made me cry.
“I could never leave you Ben. I love you.” I smiled and he kissed my cheek. “Stronger together, remember?” We wrapped our arms around each other and fell asleep.
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It was almost a year to the day that Father had wanted his 'talk'. I had a head cold and had stayed home from school. I knew Ben would be out late. He'd joined the Junior Varsity Football team and they had an away game tonight. I smiled to myself. Ben had grown so tall and handsome. He'd put on a great deal of muscle since joining the team. I enjoyed watching him play.
My head was stuffy and my thoughts were wandering, I didn't hear the front door. He was home early from work and I didn't know it until it was too late. I had been doing so well. I always had a ready excuse to leave the house, or Ben was with me. I couldn't be alone with him. He hadn't tried anything, especially in front of Ben, but I saw the way he looked at me. I could feel it when he touched me. It wasn't right.
“Look at you.” His voice behind me startled me to the core, and I spun around. “You were waiting for me?” When his leering eyes raked my form, I realized I was only wearing a nightgown and a thin robe. I quickly pulled the robe tighter. I shook my head. “I have a cold.” I backed away.
When I turned to run he shot across the room before I'd made it to the door. He blocked my way, staring down at me. I gasped. This was the closest I'd been to him in awhile, he made me nervous. I was about to back away again when he caught both my wrists in his strong hands and lifted them above my head. He spun me and pushed my back up against the wall, pinning me there. He slipped one of his legs between mine, pressing my hips to the wall.
He looked down at me again and I shivered. My robe had come open and I knew my nightgown left little to the imagination. “A cold? Right. Are you sure you didn't dress to please me?” I could hear the sneer in his voice, even though I didn't want to look at his face. I felt my stomach turn in revulsion.
He leaned in and licked my neck, working his way up to my jaw. I tried to turn away from what I knew was coming. He growled in anger. “Look at me Susan!” I was afraid, I looked at him. His dark brown eyes were cold and hard. “When I want to kiss you I will, and you will let me.” He grinned.
“H... how can you do this? It's not right.” I whispered weakly.
“You're right. It's a very dirty thing you are doing Susan. You wouldn't want me to tell people what you make me do to you.”
Tears started to sting my eyes. “How do I make you...”
He cut me off. “You're beautiful and you know it. You flaunt it in my face every day. You leave your underwear in the bathroom for me to find. And you wear things like this.” He nodded to my nightgown. He leaned in to kiss me and I tried to pull back. He didn't back away he just spoke softly to me. “You wouldn't want me to tell Ben what you do with me, would you?”
I started crying. I never wanted Ben to find out. I squeezed my eyes shut and tilted my face to his. I could hear his smile. “Good girl.” I knew he knew he had me.
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I hated everything about him. I hated how he smelled, how he tasted. I hated how he touched me where I knew he shouldn't, how he moved within me. Most of all I hated how he used my love for my brother, his own son, to bind me to him. Every time I refused or hesitated he would remind me what he'd do if I didn't submit. I hated him!
He seemed to be around the house more. He started working from home at least once a week. He knew Ben's schedule as well as I did. He usually 'took me' right after I got home from school. He told me never to keep him waiting long, or I'd make him angry. He started to demand new things, disgusting things. I nearly vomited several times at what he asked.
He became bolder in his advances towards me in the following months. I think he liked almost being caught. It gave him a rush. Once we had been in the throws when Ben came home unexpectedly. His game had been canceled when the other team had to forfeit. When Father heard his voice he'd paused pounding into me, and I thought maybe he'd let me go, just this once. He'd called back and told Ben that he was working on a difficult project, and that I'd gone out to pick up dinner. Ben yelled 'ok' and we heard him go into his room. When he turned back to me he had an evil look in his eye. He whispered, “Try not to scream.” then pounded into me the hardest he'd ever done. I had to bite on a pillow to keep quiet.