Columbia and I

Columbia and I

At first we were shy and coy, just laughing at each other, until he read my love poem “Brown Pools”.

I stare up into your deep brown pools
As your liquid diamond words flow through my ears
Wishing to disappear in your sensual kiss
Hoping for one more chance to bask in you

Bestow upon me the crown jewels of your affection
From head to toe shower me in nectar kisses
From deep within ignite feelings of passion so molten
Primal instincts take over us as you ravage my virginal body
Like a starving man to his best and only meal

Give into me all of you and make me whole
We meld and fuse, becoming one, forming a link inseparable
Feel the stars explode, the mountain erupt
Animal like ecstasy drives us to scream

Shout to the heavens, cry out our love my darling
Etch our names into the limestone of Aphrodite’s backside
Inside of us the sun will burn and the light will blind
I allow it to consume us both as a sweet release lingers in the cool night air

I cry out to you, my love, my darling
Take me, ravage me
Drown me in your brown pools
Take me, ravage me
And surrender into seraphim arms

A poem all about him, my love for him, my need for him. He confessed that no one had ever expressed such feelings for him. He never knew how much I loved the deep brown pools of his eyes before that poem. He was so over come with emotion at the realization of my love for him, he leaned into me and gave me the kiss of a beautiful lifetime. The kiss was deep with roaming tongues, full of love and affection. I couldn’t stop the smile that was brought to my face. So long had I hoped to have another moment like this. When we parted he looked deep into my eyes and we just sat staring at each other, staring into the others soul. I kissed his hands, so over come with love. He started rubbing my legs until I wrapped them around his torso. He pulled my face back to his and kissed me deeply again, our tongues swirling around the others. I couldn’t help but emit deep sighs and moans as our mouths danced. I kissed all over his neck, one side, then the next. He was moaning and breathing heavy the entire time. I kissed all over his neck and his collarbone, I couldn’t help but say how good he smelled, until I moved back to his lips. We continued kissing until he laid me back on my bed, and started kissing all over my neck, it tickled slightly from his growing goatee. He started palming my breast. It was obvious from his eyes that he was itching to feel the skin of my breast instead of the cotton of my clothes. We maneuvered so he could lift my shirt up revealing my bra. He slid the cup down and his mouth latched on to my nipple. He sucked and pulled at it with his teeth. He fell in love with my breast that night. We maneuvered higher on to the bed as he pulled my shirt off of me. When his hands went to his belt buckle, I knew the moment had come. He was looking at me like he had to have me, like if I didn’t let him have my body he would kill me and I fucking loved that look. I helped him remove the belt and pull his shirt off over his head. When his chest was revealed to me, bright pink pebble nipples and a scattering of black chest hair, all I could think was one word, “Glorious”. He pulled his pants off his legs, laughing and cursing when his pants got caught on his foot. Then he was back to me. He pulled my shorts and panties down in one shot, not even blinking at the pretty lacey underwear I had painstakingly picked out and matched with a light blue bra. He pushed me down and attacked my body. He kissed and sucked all over my neck. He made one more stop at my breast before he found my core. He rubbed my core all over, pushing and rubbing down on my clit. I moaned out loudly as he played with me as if he had played with me for a lifetime. He spread my juices all over my opening and started to rub the tip of his penis up and down my slit, coating the tip in all of my juices. I had to remind him to put on a condom that he had discreetly failed to mention he bought from the store on his trip to buy chewing gum. (Not only did he buy two boxes of condoms in preparation for our evening, he also managed to keep the chewing gum in his mouth the entire night. Hilarious)
I asked, “Wait, Columbia do you have a condom?”
He said “Oh shit yeah, sorry I was so caught up, I almost forgot.”
Laughing and smiling. He ripped the package open as quickly as he possibly could.
“I got the ultra thin” he said with a smile.
Within the blink of an eye he had the condom on and was between my thighs. He started pushing in and I was hit with some pain. It had been almost two years since I had last been penetrated with anything bigger then a finger.
“Oh shit, does that hurt?”
“Yeah”
“I’m sorry, ok, ill go slow”
And he did. He pumped just the tip into me and continued to rub my clit. He worked in a few inches; the bliss started pouring in.
“Oh shit, I may just come like this.”
He gradually worked his length in me, pushing through the left over pieces of my hymen that had healed closer together in the past two years. I kissed all over his neck, whispering
“Just let it go baby, its ok”. I said
I felt it as he slipped deeply between and past the disc inside of me. I couldn’t hold in the sounds coming deep from my body, and neither could he, as he began thrusting into my willing body. We got loud, reckless and wild. The bed groaning under us (He later joked that the bed was saying “what are you doing, get off me, what are these people doing to me?”) Sweat pouring off our bodies. I rubbed my hands and nails down his slick back and rear as he kissed me all over my neck. He had enough sense to reach up and close the blinds, so no one from outside could see us. He lost his self in my body, thrusting deeply and with abandon. I tried to keep up but ended up too blissed out to maintain any coordination. He pulled his torso back and pulled my hips to his, penetrating me even deeper than I thought possible. It was beautiful pain and pleasure mixed into heaven. I took the lords name in vain. He thrust into my body and used it wonderfully. He almost looked like a God hovering over me, pushing into me rapidly, he speed up and pounded me like a rabbit and all I could do was moan, grunt, and scream out.
“So beautiful, you’re so beautiful” he kept whispering to me
He growled and moaned like a wild animal as he thrust into my tight, almost virginal channel. Even writing it here is no where near as good or a good enough description of the real thing. As I looked up at his face and strained neck tears started coming to my eyes. He started shaking and let out a strangled moan as he climaxed inside of the Trojan condom. At this, the tears refused to stay behind. I cried into him as he collapsed against my chest, my face buried in his neck. When he pulled back and saw the tears he automatically assumed that he had hurt me physically, but that wasn’t the reason. When I watched his climaxing face, all I could think was “I love him, I love him so much, I love him”. I love him so much, and yet I couldn’t have him. When he looked into my tear coated eyes, he got this deep look on his face.
“Are you hurt?”
Crying I said “No Columbia, I'm not hurt, I'm ok”.
When he looked in my eyes, he realized the truth. He just held me as I cried into his shoulder. When I let him go he pulled out, holding the condom so it didn’t completely slip off of his softening penis. It was then he noticed the blood. I had bled damn near like my first time on my new white bed sheets. A confirmation and stain of our indiscretion. I sat there lost in my thoughts, looking at the blood.
“Maybe I should go home.”
I didn’t say a word, I just got up and went to the bathroom to clean myself off and get him some paper towels. He tried to smile and joke but I just sat on the corner of my bed. The tears had subsided for a moment. Columbia sat down beside me.
“I knew this was a bad idea, Lonny, I don’t--”
“Oh don’t start Columbia, don’t lecture me, the last thing I need to hear from you is a fucking lecture.”
I cursed at him as I grabbed the bed sheets and wrapped it around my body. I had just let this man inside of my body and now all of a sudden I felt so thoroughly exposed.
“I'm not lecturing you Lonny”
Columbia moved off the bed beside me, his jeans now on, and knelt down in front of me. He tried to say how sorry he was.
“I knew it was a bad idea to come over. I should have known better, I just got so lost. I’m more experienced than you and I should have known better. You’re the last person in this world I would ever want to hurt. I never wanted to make you cry”.
“You don’t understand how hard it is to love someone you can’t have”
It was the first time I openly admitted to his face I loved him.
“Sometimes I hate you! I hate you so much! It’s not the first time you’ve made me cry, you always make me cry, you always hurt me.”
I spit venom at him and it felt wonderful. And he just stood there and let me insult and yell at him. He just stood there, quietly, and let me be mad, let me release the anger of 4 years worth of rejection. He just stood there looking deep into my eyes as they blazed fire at him.
“Do you know why I came over, here, it wasn’t just to get some ass” Like I kept saying he did.
“If you didn’t come here to have sex then why did you come?”
“I’m not stupid Lonny, I know what we just did was not sex, it was making love. I came here to spend time with you.”
Once I calmed down I tried to apologize for how mean I knew my words were but he shushed me.
“I’m no good for you. I never wanted to hurt you. I don’t have many friends but when we talk you make me feel like I'm so special and important. Being around you makes me feel warm and welcomed. I’m an evil bastard”
“You’re not an evil bastard, despite all the things you’ve done to me, I can still hardly find a fault in you. You’re a good person”
“Do you want me to go”
I couldn’t answer him. I didn’t need to. He stayed, like I wanted. We fell into laughter and an easiness, me still wrapped in the sheet, him, sweat still glistening off his body and dripping from his hair. We laid together on my bed talking about how good our love making was, unable to take our eyes off each other.
“What?”
“What?’
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because” I said with a smile. He told me how my breast were perfect and to never get a reduction.
“Even after making me cry, I still want to touch you” I said as we laid side by side.
“Then touch me”. I didn’t need to be told twice. I ran my fingers over his cheek, slowly and wonderfully. His eyes slid closed.
“Are you tired?”
“No”
“Then why are your eyes closed?”
“Because it feels good” After a few minutes a dire question entered my mind that I needed to have answered but was afraid to say.
“well since were being all honest I can ask you whatever I want”.
I pulled my hand back and he opened his eyes, looking at me, wondering why I stopped. I sat up and stared at him for a moment.
“Did you ever love me at all?”
He nodded, “yes” I laid back down next to him and took his hand in mine, caressing his fingers with my own.
“I don’t believe you”. I asked him about every scar on his hands and he told me every story. Getting his hand caught on his friends clam shell necklace as he throw a playful punch at his chest, catching the skin of his palm in his car lock. We talked about how sad and depressed I was before he came into my life. How my ex boyfriend had treated me like a common whore though we had been friends since I was 12. How my ex took my virginity on his basement floor. How he supposedly stole me from one of his friends who liked me first. The two black girls who questioned me on why I was with a white skinned guy instead of a black guy, a memory I don’t remember. How we stole kisses in the social studies lounge behind Mrs. Aci's back. How the 6 weeks we were together felt like 6 months, and it didn’t take long for our feelings to develop. The entire time we wrapped ourselves around each other. At one point he got me mad when he admitted to avoiding me those last days because he knew the break up was coming since he was the one doing it. I got mad and rolled away from him to the other side of the bed.
“Ok, now I'm mad at you, leave me alone”
“No come back, come on come back” he said as he pulled me back over to him. I let him, my ego satisfied that he wanted me near him, wrapped around him. His hands somewhere on me, my hands somewhere on him. At one point he ran his hands through my hair, and I asked
“I’m never going to get to be with you like this again am I?”
“Shh don’t think about that” and he just continued to stroke my hair. After three squeezing hugs and a sweet and slow kiss to my lips, his hands on my face and neck, he left at 4:30 am. I kept his wife beater undershirt and slept in it that night and kept in on all day, the smell wafting up at me. How can love be so thoroughly wounding and confusing as this?


*>Reviews are most appreciated to help me decide if this is worthy enough to be continued or expanded on<*