Don't Fear the Reaper

Title: Don't Fear the Reaper
Author: The Grinning Reaper
Summary: After a night of drinking, Eli Colton wakes up in well, the Afterlife and finds it more lively than his life.
Warnings: Language, M/M, Anal, Oral, HJ (Mostly for later chapters)
Author's Note: This story has nothing to do with the song "Don't Fear the Reaper" by the Blue Oyster Cult or any of the song's covers by any other bands/artist, though it is an awesome song and I might make some references to it.

Chapter One: Don't Kiss the Reaper

"So I found out my girl was sleeping around with a bunch of guys behind my back, right," the young man started his story as the woman behind the counter poured coffee into the cup in front of him. His looked her over quickly as she served him, pretty even though she was older than him by a decade or so, long honey-golden hair tied with a dark green ribbon that matched her kind eyes and tall for a woman. Her eyes met his brown ones and made him blush before he muttered, "Thank you."

"Let me guess, so you got completely wasted and went looking for another girl to cheer you up," the man next to him and the only other customer in the cafe interjected. He looked scruffy with his hair a shaggy pile of russet brown on top of his head underneath a faded bucket hat and peach fuzz growing around his chin. He had introduced himself as Clay and despite his look and the fact that he was too old to be reading from the comic section of the newspaper he was hiding behind, he was right on target.

"Completely smashed," he laughed, slightly embarrassed that his plan was that generically simple. "Except I ended up heading home alone, I have no clue what time it was, but I was on the bus- sitting there and waitin' for my stop when I notice this hot Asian chick up towards the front. Totally cute."

Clay put down his paper and smirked at the newcomer knowingly. "How cute?"

"Real cute, maybe only a few inches shorter than me and she had her hair done up like a model but it was casual in a ponytail-like. Could have been a model, I would even say she might have been. Dressed like one, not in a snobby but more down to earth urbany...uh," he noticed they both looked confused by what he meant. "Crap, um, like it was just jeans, boots, and a black tee but definitely designer labeled with a bunch of jewelry on her wrist and neck like she just walked off from a shoot or something. Had a cool earrings too."

Clay nodded as the woman smiled as said, "Ah, I see. So then what happened?"

"He stumbled his drunken self over to her and made one last attempt so that he wouldn't have to go home alone," the man concluded. "Am I right, Eli?"

"B-bingo," he blushed, lowering his head in hopes that the wild waves of his blond hair would cover his reddening cheeks. "So I go up and start hitting on here. Not in that asshole 'your father must have been a thief and stole the stars to put into your eyes' type of way, but I ask her name and if she's from around here, only she completely ignores me. So then, well, I guess I'm an asshole and I tapped on her shoulder and asked her what her problem was."

"Oh my..." mumbled the woman.

"I was drunk! I normally wouldn't be such a dick, but... anyway, she turns to me and she looks floored, like I just ate a puppy whole or something. Again, I'm plastered, don't know how I managed to stand up, but I notice her eyes. Real pretty and perfect like the rest of her. Sort of grayish but when he pasted a light post they were definitely more blue..." he trailed off momentarily as he remembered until he heard Clay obviously clear his throat to jolt him back into the story. "And then I kissed her and died."

"What?"

"It's kind of creepy that you both did that in unison, but yeah. I told her I that her eyes were pretty, gave her a nice, sloppy one right on the lips, everything went black, and then I woke up down by the park-"

"The New Arrival Dock," they both said together again.

"Right, and then this guy picked me up," Eli gestured to Clay, hoping to finish his story without anymore interruptions from the peanut gallery. "Asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee to get over the shock, and I said 'What shock?' to which he replied-"

"The shock your soul is going through because you're dead now!" the man chimed in as if that was a cheery thing to say to a complete stranger whose just arrive in the Afterlife.

"Clayton Wright, tell me you didn't say that," a defeated sigh came from the woman like she knew the answer.

"Of course, I never lie to anyone, babe. You know that."

Eli sighed now too, letting his head hit the hard wood counter in hopes that this was a dream. "I shouldn't be allowed to drink, I always do stupid shit when I'm smashed but this takes the cake..."

"Did you get that nifty tat when you were drunk too?" Clay asked, lifting up the younger man's sleeve to expose more of his upper arm after an awkward nod from the sulking boy. "Very well, done. Looks more like a watercolor painting than ink on flesh. Why a cherry blossom branch? Not that the pink flowers aren't cute and all..."

He ignored the last comment, feeling too drained and dizzy from all the events from his death to, well, whatever this was to snap at the kind stranger. "My friend had a thing for the old school Japanese tattoos, hell, newer ones too. His girl had this ink painting of the blossoms and they thought it would be neat if he tattooed part of the painting onto my arm while I was passed out on their couch one night."

The woman tried to suppress a giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. "What about the one on your wrist? That's kanji isn't it? What does it mean?"

"My wrist?" his head snapped up and then the rest of his upper body when he saw the foreign markings, indeed, on his left wrist. "I don't remember this at all! This wasn't there last night! It looks old already."

The elder two exchanged a glance as Eli stared dumbfounded at his wrist. "Looks like a name to me, Clay..."

"A mysterious girl in black, a Death Kiss, and now a name on your body that isn't yours," the man grinned despite his serious investigating Sherlock Homes' tone. "Sounds to me like you've kissed a Reaper, my boy."

"Reaper? As in the skeleton with the black hood and scythe?"

"Um, you have the right idea but they don't look like that," Clay retorted as he ran his fingers across the tabs until he found the one he was looking for and flipped it open. "They look nothing like that though, but they do ferry people souls over to this side, plus some more. Is this the girl?" Eli shook his head at the image the man was pointing to. It looked like some kind of bizarre medical file or something. "Didn't think so. Your description didn't sound like Yue Yan at all, however the only other Asian reaper would mean that it was-"

The sound of the front door crashing against the wall, drawing all of their attention away from their conversation. "Clay! There's an attack at the edge of town by Old Lady Ester's place! Its a big one too," a man shouted before waving to the woman behind the counter as Clay stood up and made his way to a different doorway. "How are you, Miss Camilla?"

"Just fine, Buck. How's the wife?" she chuckled before Clay came back in, a camera bag over his shoulder and two helmets in his hand until he tossed one to the young man.

"Fine, fine. Taking this kid with you, I'm jealous," Buck snickered before taking their place on one of the stools.

"Newbies have to see reapers and demons sometime, right?" the men had a short lived laugh, Eli feeling completely ignored as he stared at their madness, following Clay anyway as Camilla waved them off. "Be back soon, Cami."

"Be careful boys!"

"What do you mean by demon?" Eli questioned though he climbed on to the back of the beat up looking scooter the man lead him to, sitting behind him after he patted the old cushioning.

"A beast like creature that causes chaos in our rather quiet and relaxing Afterlife." The younger gaped at his bluntness as he clasped his helmet on right before they took off down the street. "Keeping them away from us is also a job of the reapers' and they do a damn good job at it, if I do say so myself."

"There's more than one?"

"Of course!" he laughed through a dangerously sharp turn. "There are twenty-three, each from a different country, background, and time in history. A lovely bunch, that I like to keep information on. Its how I make my living."

"Oh, so when you said information was better than money here, you didn't mean just information about the, er, living world, but info about this place too?"

"That's right! And this is looking like a decent payday for me," he said before pointing at a being two street lights down and it was then that Eli realized that everyone else was heading in the opposite direction as them for a good reason.

"Holy shit," he whispered to himself, trying to figure out if the creature charging down the street was a giant bear or wolf or some ungodly combination of the two when it suddenly stopped. As it turned back, they were able to see another much smaller figure with a pistol pointed at the demon.

"Ah, perfect! That's Ren Minowa. He's a tough one to get info or even pictures of," Clay explained as he halted the scooter and whipped out his camera and proceeded to snap pictures of the scene. The beast looking thing growled at the intruder, and even though they were a good, safe distance away, the boy could see the cold calmness in the reaper's face.

"That's her. That's the chick from the bus, I just know it," Eli muttered half in disbelief as he watch the petite reaper take down the much large monster with just a one shot to the head.

"Her?" a chuckle came from the other as he kept his gaze through the eye of his camera. "I would get rid of your habit of calling Minowa a girl if I were you. Your master is known for his temper and not much else."

"My... master?!"