Scream

“I love you, damn it!” She cried out, clinging onto him like he was her very life force. She could see a coldness in his eyes and possibly guilt? She couldn’t be sure, especially since her emotions were going haywire and the tears in her own eyes were blinding her.

“It’s better if I leave.” His voice was void of emotion. How could this be the same man she had once been madly in love with? This man standing before her was a complete stranger. He may still have that dazzling smile, those crystal blue eyes, and sun bright blond hair, but the man underneath those looks was someone she did not recognize.

“What’s changed? What did I do?” Desperation. It made her sick to know she was sinking this low, but the idea of him walking out of her life was too horrifying to comprehend.

“I don’t love you, anymore. No. I don’t think I ever really loved you. It was just a good time, you understand? I need someone different than you. Someone who can win my heart. You never had mine.”

She felt her stomach drop out and the world spin around her. He had never been cruel. Something wasn’t right. This complete 180 transformation was not normal. And as she watched him walk calmly to the door she felt her sanity slowly slip away. She ran after him, a scream tearing from her throat, burning. She knew she would probably have no voice tomorrow, but she couldn’t help it. He was leaving her without as much as a backwards glance.

“Don’t do this! This isn’t you!” Her lips were trembling and she could feel hot tears sliding down her face.

“This is me. This is the real me. You just never opened your pretty little eyes and took a good look. I’m doing you a favor.” There was a flash of something in his eyes that gave her pause. What was that? Remorse? Sadness? What was he hiding from her?

Before she could stop herself she stood up on her toes and pressed her lips against his. She half expected him to push her away, but he didn’t. He pulled her to him, pressing back hard. It was a kiss of desperation, not one of a person who was indifferent towards you. The kiss lasted about two seconds, but it left her head spinning. After her mind cleared she realized he was gone. All that was left was the smell of his cologne on the night air and a bitter silence that left her feeling empty and confused.

Sari looked at the page she had written and frowned. She loved writing, but lately everything was bothering her. Who were these two troubled people? She had had a dream that had jarred her from sleep and soon she found herself at her laptop writing. This was what was left on the page. No names. Barely any descriptions. She didn’t know what this girl even looked like. She could almost see this scene play out from her dream and yet it was slowly dimming with each minute passing. Soon she couldn’t remember anything. All she had to go on was the words she had written.

An exasperated sigh escaped her as she leaned back and pulled her long black hair into a ponytail. The cool breeze that brushed against her neck sent an involuntary shiver down her spine. She moved the mouse and opened a past document and stared at those words. They were the exact same words that she had written tonight. Word for word. She had never been able to do that. She had tried rewriting stories, sometimes almost verbatim, but never like this. And she hadn’t even remembered writing this document until a few seconds ago. Strange.

The door creaked opened, drawing Sari’s attention away. Her black Labrador, Rosie, trotted into the room with what she assumed a happy dog smile if that were possible. Her one-year old tail was wagging furiously and she was as energetic as ever although it was three in the morning. Sari patted the dog on her head before looking back at her newest story. She thought about adding onto it, but she didn’t know where to start. She felt like she had just witnessed a snippet of someone’s life without any prior information on the current situation.

Another sigh, a click of her computer closing, and Rosie jumping into bed with her, and Sari was out cold. She had wondered if she would dream this dream again, but what were the chances in one night? Sleep came easily, but the dreams that followed left her restless the following morning. She couldn’t remember them, but she just knew they involved those two people from her story.

Rosie was gone when she woke, unsurprisingly since she was a pup who had too much energy. Sunlight leaked through the poorly drawn curtains and Sari tossed over to protect her eyes. She didn’t want to get up. It was a Saturday, and it was summer on top of that. Waking up early was out of the question. Or at least Sari thought until lying awake with her eyes closed began to irritate her.

Sari’s mother stood in the kitchen singing to herself, completely oblivious to Sari’s presence. The soft tune was unfamiliar, but that wasn’t too surprising since they listened to very different music. Sari always had thought her mother had a beautiful voice and wondered why it could not have passed onto her.

“Sari, what are you doing up so early?” Her mother asked, startled to see her when she turned around to grab something. Sari shrugged, her loose t-shirt rising slightly to expose her flat stomach that was actually tanned now that summer had finally arrived.

“What would you like for breakfast?” she asked as she began to hum.

“Eggs?” Sari moved into the kitchen and looked at what her mother had been cooking. A cake for her brother’s birthday. Another talent Sari was envious of. Anything she tried to cook either burned or became inedible, even to Rosie.

“Plans for today, Sweetie?”

“Probably go to the beach.” The beauty of living ten minutes from the ocean in South Florida. Her mother nodded as she turned and began to make Sari her breakfast. The phone rang and since her mother was busy, Sari went and answered before reading the caller id.

“Sari.” The deep voice startled her. It had been so long since she had heard it last.

“Why are you calling, Rick?” Sari quickly left the kitchen and ran up the stairs back towards her bedroom.

“You stopped answering my calls on your cell so I figured I’d try your house. You are home for summer after all.” He sounded just the same as he had three months ago. Sari didn’t want to have this conversation. She didn’t want to talk to him, but for the life of her she couldn’t hang up the phone either.

“Not for much longer.”

“Where are you going?” There was a tint of anger in Rick’s voice that was all too familiar and her hand began to tremble. If her mother learned he had called the house she would most likely call the police.

“Visiting family.” Rick knew she had family in the north, but he didn’t know about her cousins in Europe they had just reacquainted themselves with and had decided a family reunion was in order.

“The ones in Boston?” Rick asked.

“Rick, why are you calling me?” Sari asked, avoiding Rick’s question.

“Come on, Sari, I told you I was sorry. I was drunk. It wasn’t my fault.” Rick had one of the sexiest voices she had ever heard and he always sounded so smooth and in control. Well not exactly in control.

“Wasn’t your fault?” Sari asked incredulously. Her voice was teetering on hysteria and she knew she needed to hang up.

“It was the beer’s fault,” Rick said easily. She could practically feel his shoulders shrugging along with his words.

“What about the Vodka? Jack? Jim? Remember drinking those? Do you remember how you almost killed me?” Sari demanded. She had been advised not to speak with Rick. Her parents had said it to her, her therapist, and the police. Why didn’t she hang up the phone?

“Don’t be so dramatic, Sari.” Rick sounded irritated.

“It’s early. What are you even doing awake?” Sari demanded. She could feel her heart racing.

“I just knew you’d be awake.” Was he watching her? She had felt like someone had been following her lately. It had been one of the reasons she was taking anti-anxiety pills like they were candy. She wondered if they were the cause of her strange dreams lately. She was on so many pills she wasn’t sure if the line between reality and fiction was starting to blur.

“Rick, I’m hanging up.” Sari’s hand was trembling and when he let a string of curses fly she felt herself reaching for her pill bottle without really knowing it.

“I need to see you.”

“You aren’t allowed to see me.”

“Sari, I love you, damn it!” His words gave her pause. It sounded like the words she had written from her dream, although those were spoken by the woman and not the man. She ran a hand through her tangled curls she had yet to brush and pulled at her hair as she remained silent on the phone. She could hear her mother calling her name. She needed to hang up. But Rick was like a drug. And she hadn’t had a dose in a very long time. She didn’t want to relapse, but the high she got off him was unlike any other.

“Baby, I’m so sorry about that night. I should never have gotten that drunk. I know that. I was an idiot. I made a mistake. What can I say, I’m twenty. I knew what I did was so wrong, Sari. I knew it the minute it happened. But I was so angry, and my uncle had just died. I was stressing over my grades and getting kicked out. Then you started going off on me and I just snapped.” Rick was breathing heavily, like he was trying to hold back tears. Or sound like he was distressed when he really wasn’t. She hated that about phones. She couldn’t see his eyes. She could always tell when he was lying by looking into those deep brown eyes of his. And Rick was a liar at heart.

“And that gives you the excuse to hurt me like you did?” Sari demanded.

“No! Aren’t you listening? I’m apologizing! Please, Sari, come see me today. I need to see you. I miss you. I haven’t touched a drop of liquor since that night.” Yeah. Right. Sari almost laughed. Rick without a bottle in hand was like Rick actually going to class everyday and passing his classes.

“I can’t today.” Her mother’s voice was becoming very persistent. She would come looking for her soon and then demand to know who’s on the phone.

“Why not?” Rick’s voice held that hint of malice that Sari was terrified of. Flashes of that fateful night made her sick to her stomach. There was no way she would be able to keep those eggs down now. Blood. There had been so much blood. She had heard how a broken nose bleeds like no other, but it still didn’t take the edge off the shock. And the pain. It had hurt so much. Rick had just snapped. It was like he wasn’t even human anymore.

“I have plans,” Sari said as she forced those memories away.

“Break them.” It was not a request. Sari wondered if he would be stupid enough to come to her house. They would throw him in jail for sure after her mother was done with him.

“Rick, I have to go.” Sari was already moving her finger towards the off button, but she knew she wouldn’t push it yet.

“Baby, please.” Rick switched voices. This one was calm, a little sad, and was spoken in the tone he had always used to win her over. “I love you. Let me prove it to you.”

Blood. Pain. The snapping of a bone.

“Good-Bye, Rick.” Sari hung up. The silence that filled up the room was deafening. She half expected him to call back immediately. He didn’t, and when ten minutes passed with her just standing in her room she finally felt it safe to return to the kitchen.

“Didn’t you hear me calling you?” Sari’s mother demanded with one hand on her hip. “Your eggs are cold by now.”

“Not hungry,” Sari said numbly. Immediately concern flashed in her mother’s eyes. “Who called?”

“Wrong number,” Sari said as she handed the phone back to her mother. Sari went back to her room without a word and changed into a bikini. She called up a few of her friends, inquiring if they wanted to go with her to the beach. The rest of the day passed in a blur.


Pain. It was consuming her. She couldn’t breathe. It was filling every inch of her. Blood. There was so much blood!

… And a bitter silence that left her feeling empty and confused…

Sari blinked a few times, staring at the glowing computer screen. She didn’t remember waking up or writing, but there was the same story staring at her. Her fingers were still resting on the keys. What was wrong with her? Who were these people she apparently kept dreaming about although she couldn’t remember it? How was she managing writing the same words over and over again?

It took her a moment to register that there was another glowing light in her dark room besides her computer. Her cell phone that she had placed on silent was lighting up like a beacon. She reached for it and then stopped when she saw Rick’s name in big black letters. She watched it ring and then finally stop. A voicemail was left. Sari didn’t want to listen to it. That was when she saw the number next to voice mail. She had ten voices. She picked up the phone, her eyes squinting at the brightness on the screen before hitting the button that would take her to her voicemail.

“Sari, pick up damn you.” Rick’s slurring voice sent chills down her spine. “I need to see you.”

The message ended. The next one started up. “I can see you, Sari. Sleeping there.”

“Fucking Bitch.”

“I should have killed you when I had the chance. You’re nothing but trouble. It’s your fault I got kicked out of college.”

“You think you’re safe because you’re ignoring me? You fucking ain’t safe!”

Sari threw the phone to the floor with a cry of alarm. Her eyes darted to her window that had the curtains pulled shut. How could Rick see her sleeping? The dark room around her seemed to be closing in on her. What if he was here? Wouldn’t she have heard him? She quickly moved to her light switch and flooded the room with a peaceful yellow haze.

Everything looked to be in place. Nothing was moved. She opened her closet door and check under her bed, but there were no monsters hiding there. She felt her heart racing and wondered if it was possible to have a heart attack at such a young age from fear. She turned off the lights and moved towards her window. She was terrified she would see Rick’s face staring back at her, but there was no one there. The night sky seemed ironically peaceful, the full moon giving off plenty of light. There was no one standing on the lawn below. The neighbor’s home was vacant of activity. For a moment Sari wondered if she had dreamed all of this up. Her phone still flashing with unheard messages ruined that.

Sari closed her eyes and counted to ten, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. She was safe in her home, Rick couldn’t hurt her here. Moving back towards her bed she slipped between the sheets and pulled the covers to her chin like the thin blankets could protect her.

A noise to her left made her eyes snap back open. Nothing there. She wanted to yell at herself for being so paranoid. She turned onto her side and tried to get comfortable, but then she heard another noise. She turned back over to see Rick standing above her. Before she could even get out a scream his hand had come down over her mouth, pressing a damp cloth that smelled funny over her nose and mouth. Fumes poured into her body as she struggled against him. Soon her movements became sluggish and her eyes fluttered shut as she slipped into darkness.