Black and Green

A/N: Well, I only have one review for 'Somnium' and I also have a block on it, so even though I should be updating that, I'm submitting this new one for your enjoyment. This one's more humourous compared to 'Death for Two' (at least I tried to make it that way), so its keeping me from going mad with angst. I hope you enjoy it! Please review when you're done!

Chapter 1


Sylvester 'Sly' Davenport found himself in really weird positions ofter enough, but this one took the cake. He was handcuffed to the staircase inside his best friend's house while said best friend was having sex with an alien on the couch in the room behind him. Not that weird yet? To top it off he was covered from head to toe in a sweet smelling green goo the alien had brought him as a gift. Sly was not happy to say the least.

How did poor Sly find himself in this predicament? Well it had all started the day before when he celebrated his twentieth birthday. His idiot of a best friend, Dragon, decided it would be cool to have a big party at his house. The idea had been nice until Sly learned that Dragon had invited, of all people, Tanner.

Tanner was, is, the biggest pain in the ass Sly had ever met. If the crazy alien wasn't busy annoying him with ridiculous questions of human technology then he was trying desperately to get into his pants. Now anyone who knew Sly well knew that he was quite a virgin and wasn't putting out for anyone this century, or the next one considering who you were talking to. Tanner never got the memo it seems.

The party had started off simple enough with a few beers and music and friends hanging out. Everything had been fine until the disaster known as Tanner arrived accompanied by a large vat of goo. Sly ignored the gift and went for a few more beers. Bad idea to say the least. As the last of the guests left Tanner decided it was time to strike. He handcuffed a tipsy Sly to the banister when the cute emo was unaware. Sly yelled for help, but Dragon was too intoxicated to care, or, for that matter, be considered awake. So this left Tanner with an ample opportunity to have a nice time feeling Sly up and assaulting his lips.

Luckily for Sly, the alien didn't get too far, as Dragon sprang to his senses and pulled the horny green-haired alien away in a moment of levelheadedness one rarely saw him in. Turned out Tanner had been very horny and the two ended up making out on Dragon's couch. The goo? A form of lubricant Tanner had brought from his home world. After using half of it (Sly vaguely wondered how until he realized he really didn't want to know), they tossed the container without looking. Lady Luck was not on his side that night, as it landed on the still cuffed Sly who in turn had to listen to them go at it until they collapsed from exhaustion. When they awoke the next morning they did it all over again.

That brings us to the situation at hand.

“Dragon! Stop it, you're making me sick! Uncuff me you bastards!” Sly yelled as he pulled at the fluffy pinks cuffs to no avail. He was forced to listen to it all night and he had-had enough. Sly would resort to cruelty if need be then. “Drew Terrence Arington the Fifth release me now!”

Dragon froze from where he was sucking on Tanner's collarbone and sat up. “You so did not just call me by my real name!”

Sly smirked. Bingo. “I had to! You wouldn't listen to me otherwise. Now get me out of these fucking cuffs!” He rattled them loudly to make his point come across. Some of the fabric had worn down from all the struggling the night before and the evil pink things were starting to bite into his wrists. Ignoring stereotypes, Sly liked them quite uncut thank-you.

“Fine you prick.” The blond got up, pulled his polka-dot boxers up, and went to help his steaming emo friend. Once he found the keys (inside a dying potted plant in the hall) he unlocked the handcuffs and smacked Sly hard across the back of the head triumphantly. “Ha, that's what you get from calling me by the evil name!”

Sly smacked him back just as hard as he stood to stretch his aching muscles. Spending the night with his arms trapped behind him had been killer to his muscles and joints. “Fucking idiot! You left me there all night while you screwed Tanner!”

“Sorry...not my fault he's really good in bed.” Dragon muttered sarcastically. He flicked a finger over the goo covering Sly's black band shirt and popped it into his mouth. “Mmm, best tasting lube on the planet.”

Sly cringed and looked himself over. The stuff had begun to dry and stuck to him like glue. “Gross man! I'm in such a need for a shower! Yuck!” He wiped at his shirt hoping to clear some of it off before it stained, but it held its place. Great, that had been his favorite too.

Tanner bounced up behind Dragon and grinned brightly at him. “Can I join you Sly?!”

“Uh, no. Not a chance spinach-head, and put some fucking clothes on would ya?!” Sly said quickly placing a hand over his eyes. “You're gross enough with them on!”

Tanner pouted and spun a finger through his long hair as he looked up at the older man. At a very short five foot exactly with his finger curling his hair just like that, anyone could mistake him for an innocent little kid who just wanted a hug. The next words out of his mouth accompanied by the fact he was stark naked would vanish any of those innocent thoughts though in an instant. “Don't hate me because I'm hot Sly, and you look ravishing covered in lube. Let me lick it off, please?”

“No! Get lost you sex-crazed bastard!”

“Fine, but I'll be back. Your sexy ass calls for me.” Tanner spun around with a wink, slipped his clothes on, and left.

Dragon sighed and crossed his arms heavily across his bare chest which was covered in love bites. “That was a little mean you know.”

“Mean?” Sly snapped angrily. He motioned down at his goo covered body. “This was mean! It will take hours to get this stuff out! And you just left me handcuffed to your stairs! I'm sorry, but if that doesn't reach your definition of mean then somethings very wrong with you.”

“I would have helped sooner, but I had an extremely hot man pleasuring me!” Dragon said in defense. “And by the way you can borrow some of my clothes and take a nice hot shower while I wash those. Happy?”

Sly nodded and pulled his shirt off to reveal a pale, bare chest. “Thanks, but I'm still pissed at you.” He went up to the bathroom and took a nice long shower, quite happily washing the goo out of his hair, which to his delight came off easily. Afterward he went back down to help his friend clean up the mess from the party.

“Get everything Sly! If my parents find out they'll kill me!” Dragon cried with worry as he scrubbed the bright green spot on the stairs where Sly had been sitting previously. “I am so not ready to die!”

Sly rolled his eyes and threw away a couple of beer bottles lying around. “Not my problem that you threw a really wild party while they were away. Should of thought ahead, huh?”

The blond stuck his tongue out at him, the small silver stud in it glinting in the overhead light. With messy hair that just touched the hem of his shirt, ten piercings in one ear, eight in the other, an eyebrow ring, one lip ring, a bellybutton ring, and tattoos on various body parts he was every bit the little punk. He loved it. “Bastard, just shut up and clean faster!”

After a few hours of tedious cleaning (How did this pair of underwear get on the lampshade?!), they both collapsed on the couch. Dragon curled up next to his darked friend with a happy sigh. “Thanks Sly, you're the best.”

“No problem,” Sly replied as he flicked the TV on. A random game show was on, so he changed it to a music station and relaxed further as the light rock vibrated around them. “By the way, I never got a present from you...”

“Oh yeah!” Dragon grinned pulling away and bouncing to his feet. “Be right back!” He darted upstairs for a few minutes and returned with a small wrapped package, which from th condition it was in must have been haphazardly kicked under Dragon's bed, and tossed it to Sly.

Sly caught it with ease and began to carefully tear away the already crumpled paper. Everyone called him strange for not eagerly shredding the paper like most would, but he liked to appreciate the moment and last few seconds of mystery before revealing what the gift was. As he pulled the last of it off and brushed the paper to the floor he looked over the small unmarked cardboard box with interest.

“This isn't another of you gag gifts is it?”

“No, just open!” Dragon urged on as crouched on the couch beside him, a big grin on his face. “You'll like it!”

The emo licked his lips and pulled open the top. His mouth fell open in shock when he saw what was inside. “No fucking way! You idiot!”

“Dragon nodded with a laugh. “Sure did bud! Me, Tanner, and Bryant have been saving up for weeks!” He wrapped and arm lightly around Sly's neck and gave him a small, friendly squeeze.

Sly pulled out the silver key with a disbelieving smile on his face. “Where is it?”

Dragon pulled him up and led him to the two-car garage that was connected to the house via a walkway outside. “Ta-da!” He opened the door and switched the lights on. A beautiful blue motorcycle sat in the center with a large mostly atrocious pink bow over it. “Happy birthday Sly!'

Sly took a few hesitant steps forward before dashing over to rub his hands on the cool metal. “This is amazing! Thank-you so much!” He turned and gave his friend a strong hug. “Remind me to thank Tanner and Bry later as well, okay?”

“Let's go ride! Please?” Dragon pleaded as he pulled on a helmet for himself. “I want to see what this baby can do! We can go see Bryant as well.”

“You bet man,” Sly grabbed the other helmet, ripped off the creepy bow (Tanner's addition to the gift he guessed) and took a seat. He gripped the handlebars enjoying how they felt in his hands before slipping the key in and revving the engine. “Let's go!'

Dragon sat behind him and wrapped his arms tightly around his friend's slim waist. Soon they were on the road howling at cars and people passing by having the time of their lives. Sly drove over to a more uptown place and directed his new baby to a tattoo parlor where Dragon's older brother Bryant worked and owned. Parking the bike gently, he hopped off and placed his helmet down before running in excitedly.

A tall blond-haired man met him with a hug, the long serpent drawn on his left arm becoming more apparent as he did so. “Hey Sly, guessed you like the present, huh?” Bryant had to stay late the night before (or so he claimed), and therefore had missed the traumatizing party. Sly would get him back for it later. Right now he was still on a high the gift had given him.

“Liked it? I loved it you jerk! The greatest gift anyone's ever gotten me!” Sly laughed hugging him again.

“Hey, I helped too ya know! I got only one hug...” Dragon pouted and Sly sighed as he gave his odd friend another.

Nearby Bryant pulled out a clean and ready to use tattoo gun. “Time to make good of your promise now!”

The little emo groaned at the sight in displeasure. “Ah shit! Fine, but make it a good one, okay?” He'd totally forgotten that he had promised to let Bryant give him a tattoo when he turned twenty. The promise wasn't that bad really, Bryant gave really good tattoos, but the problem was that it was going to be on his back and to be a surprise. Sly's stomach flipped with anticipation and slipped his shirt off and lay on the table.

Bryant smiled as he cleaned the spot right on the back of Sly's neck. “Relax man, you're in good hands.” He pulled out the paper with the design he already had planned out and placed it on Sly's arm so the outline stuck, and then revved up the gun.

“Shit!” Sly gasped when he felt the first sting of the needle hit his skin. “That fucking hurts!” He bit his lip as he felt it delicately trace his neck with a constant buzzing. Sly had never been one good with needle. He always dreaded doctor visits for the same reason.

Dragon sat beside him watching with amusement. “Toughen up man, I've already got five of them!”

Sly's mind went away from the pain as he took the words in. “Wait, five? I thought you only had four!”

“Oh yeah, I never showed you that one! Silly me, I've got a Gothic fairy done on the inside of my left thigh!” He explained pulling his pants leg up so the bottom of the new design peeked out.

“Eww, I shouldn't have asked...”

An hour and a half later and Bryant was done. “There, hey Dragon hand me that little mirror!” Dragon turned and found it on the table and did so, and Bry held it up behind Sly and placed another mirror in front of him so the emo could see his work.

Sly gaped at the sight in appreciation. “Wow, that's awesome! Thanks Bry!” A spider's web curled around an image of a heart, a real one, with three little spider's dropping off of it was done in black ink with red highlights. “So very wicked!'

“It was an honor, really!” Bry laughed putting his tools away. He came back with a bandage and placed it over the spot to keep it clean.

“Still, that's so cool! You're the coolest friend ever!” Dragon elbowed him and he quickly added, “I mean coolest older friend ever.”

Dragon nodded in approval. “Got that right bitch! I think we're going to ditch you now Bry and grab some food. See ya!” He grabbed his friend's hand and dragged him back out to the motorcycle, barely letting the man get his shirt and instructions on how to keep the tattoo safe.

“You guys are awesome, did you know that” Sly said as he pulled on his helmet.

“Duh, of course I did. Now let's go man! I'm starving!”

Sly agreed and they took off down the street to a restaurant nearby. In his mind the events of earlier that day were forgiven and he was thankful to have so many good friends who cared about him. Now if he could only do something about Tanner...