The Birth of Bahen

In the beginning, god created authors, and they wrote and all was good. The authors wrote their stories, fast and slow, obeying the plunnies that had infected their brains. But then, lo! the plunnies grew stale and worthless without something to keep them alive and breathing besides an author’s mind.
And this was when god looked around and decided, that the plunnies were in need of something to aid them in their existence. For seven days and seven nights, the god of the authors pondered this dilemma, and on the morning of the eighth day god had devised a wondrous strategy to put into use.
For you see, there was one author who refused the task to which she had been appointed. This author could not be called as such, god decided, and he rebuked her, but her very un-authorness had given him an idea.
And god borrowed a cast away, half-finished plunnie from one of his favorites and dropped it on the head of this un-author.
The un-author then did something no other author had ever done before: she READ the story.
And finally, this un-author picked up her long forsaken keyboard and sat down and began to type something.
God was amazed, and thought it was a story, born and bred of new plunnie inspiration, but lo!, it was not, and when the un-author had finally finished her insane typing spree, there was a new breed of creature that had come to exist on the planet.
For the writing that the un-author had done was not original, but reflection. It was the world’s first review!
And so the writers continued to expand, and the lone un-author grew in her status as the un-author of the planet. But eventually the un-author grew depressed at how little her commentary meant, for the review feature had not yet been invented.
When god saw how sad she was at her reflection, he asked what the matter was.
She replied, in saddened breath, that her final thoughts never reached the ones for whom they were intended.
God mulled over this situation for quite some time. Finally, he came up with an idea, and thus the Review Button was born.
The un-authoress made great use of it, sending her critique to the multiplying breed of authors, but eventually, there were more of them than of her, and she needed help, so she went to god yet again.
God listened to her, and created another un-author, designed to help her. So the two of them founded the race of Reviewers, and all seemed to be well.
But then the fiery chasm opened up and hell spawn came forth and corrupted the multitude of growing Reviewers and made some twisted and demented and evil and useless. These became the Flamers, and no realm was safe.
Then god took the mother Reviewer and tapped her on the head. He bestowed magical properties on her and told her to go forth and stop the Flamers. She could not do as requested, but instead overcame the awful Flames by offering advice and critique and generally making the authors feel good about themselves.
The Flamers grew in number and chased her from their ranks. She fled and took up a new residence, but never stopped reviewing. To protect her, we have changed her name. She is no longer the un-author who god created in the beginning.
She is Bahen!, the truest reviewer of them all.

::bows::