That Gorgeous Girl

She is everything I want. Damn, she is too beautiful for her own good and she probably doesn’t even know it. Well, I guess she’s too beautiful for my good…or my grades good considering the pale expanse of perfect smooth looking skin that she calls legs and I call heaven…are the current reason I have a c in ap lit. yeah, I know a c isn’t that bad to normal kids but normal kids don’t have the mother that I have. Its not perfect enough but it isn’t my fault she wears skirts every day that ends in y.
She thinks I’m funny, but that’s not what I want from her. She’s my friend, but that isn’t enough for me. She’s everything I could ever ask for, and I’m convinced she’s straight. Mr. McKinley’s’ words fall on deaf ears when it comes to me. The class passes by in a stupor of trying to conspicuously stare at her and all of her perfection. The bell is unwelcome when it rings loudly breaking me from my daydreaming. It signals the next hour and a half I have to wait until I get another glance at her at lunch. Why did this have to happen to me?
I’m a senior. This year was supposed to go by easy but ever since I met her, my whole world has been flipped upside down. I want her in the worst way. I guess I’m getting ahead of myself here. My name is Maddie…no its not short for Madeline. I’m pretty easy to overlook in this high school…but that isn’t surprising because I’m only 5’3. I’m the ordinary girl that sits in the middle of the classroom that nobody cares about. Dark hair and plain dark brown eyes. that’s a good word for me, I’m plain. Except for that fact that I dress like a punk and smell like smoke most of the time but I guess everyone is different. I’m a plain girl that happens to act like a badass. And she is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, Devin.
Looking at her, you wouldn’t think she was that special. I mean yeah, she’s gorgeous and athletic, she has perfect wavy blonde hair and the perfect swimmers body. Not to mention the most amazing set of grey blue eyes you will ever see in your life. But she’s just a normal high school senior, to anyone who isn’t me. To me, she’s my dream girl. Well now that you have a general idea of just how AMAZING she is…I really have to get some shut eye in Mr. B’s statistic class. Yes I sleep in class, it’s the only thing that keeps me from walking out of the room because the guy is such a perv I’m amazed he has a job at all.
Needless to say second block is over before I notice it had begun because I wasn’t awake…well for most of it. There was a deep conversation with my desk mate and friend Rebecca about how she doesn’t support my lifestyle…thanks mom. All well, some people are just too ignorant to understand. Its not their fault. Walking down the halls is more like a trying to squeeze a Sudan through two hummers each taking up a quarter of the only free parking space left. I’m so small I’m usually the ping pong ball when it comes to those halls. I’m a senior but I feel like a freshman. Assholes.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Lunch

I see her walking my way, a welcomed change to the asshole of a boyfriend she usually sits next to. Honestly he is my friend, I’ve known him since I moved to this hellhole of a town but I know first hand how much of an asshole he can be when he wants. Devin sits her tray down across from me and plops onto the bench with a loud, exasperating sounding sigh. She looks at me with a small smile on her face as I stare at her quizzically.
“Hey? What’s up?” I ask, my confusion is obvious I’m sure. When I said she was my friend…I didn’t mean she was my best friend. I meant I talk to her and we hang out occasionally but we’ve never been like amazingly close. She looks down, this sad look crossing her features that makes me want to kill anyone who put it there…ah shit I think I’m in love with her.
“Charlie is an asshole” she speak softly, not even looking back up at me. Internally I’m kind of laughing as she just spoke my exact thoughts but the seriousness of the situation at hand suppresses that to the point where I’m genuinely worried.
“Well honestly, I could have told you that one before. Why is he an asshole though? You alright?” I ask.
I’m not exactly comfortable in situations like this. If you looked up sensitive in the dictionary…well lets just say my face wouldn’t be there. I’m not good with words, which is ironic considering I write music and shit like that but when it comes to situations like this I bomb terribly.
She takes a deep breath and that small unconvincing smile comes back to her face. “I’m fine I guess. Just wish I had realized how he was sooner. Needless to say we broke up and I just figured I would rather sit here with you and not have to worry about what other people will think. I mean, I know he’s your friend and all but I think you understand.”
“Yeah I think I get you. Just eat your lunch and put it out of your mind. A girl like you, deserves better than that anyways. It wont be too hard for you to find it.” I can feel the blush creeping across my face so I bury my head back into the notebook with the song lyrics I was working on. Five minutes go by with silence that is comforting to me before she speaks again.
“ How come you never eat lunch? Do you want some of mine?” she asks me and I can see the empathy in her eyes. It makes me slightly angry but I don’t want to upset her.
“Just not hungry. But thank you anyways.” she wouldn’t understand that I’m too poor to be able to afford it and too prideful to tell the school that I need free lunches. I survive just fine on my own. She nods her head and goes back to her lunch while I go back to my lyrics, offering her one of my ear plugs so she can listen to my ipod with me. Lunch goes by quickly with us listening to music while we each focus on our own little worlds. I hear the bell and I say my farewell to her. I don’t feel well so I skip my next two classes and head home. The school stops caring when you do that if your parents don’t give a damn either. Besides, I need some sleep before I go to work tonight. I just hope my mother isn’t home to turn my peaceful afternoon into world war 3.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Devin’s pov

That girl thinks I don’t see right through her. She’s lonely, I can tell. She’s way to tiny to never eat lunch and that ‘just not hungry’ excuse is so much bullshit I’m almost choking from the stench of it. I know I can get her to let me in, I think she just needs a friend who will listen to the thoughts that run around in her head instead of making her best friend that damn notebook she has glued to her hand. I wish there was some way to get through to her. I’ve spent the last half of the school day trying to figure her out and still I have nothing. The keys to my car jingle loosely as they hang from my hand and I notice her beat up Shelby mustang is already gone. She’s such a skipper. Maddie seems like such a good girl sometimes, its hard to remember what a rebel she can be when she wants. Sitting in own old pos car that should have crapped out a long time ago, I turn the key only to be greeted with a horrendous sound that tells me my car has no chance in hell of starting. I reach for my phone and find her number in the contacts. Quickly I receive a text message back from her telling me she is on her way to work but she will pick me up anyways. It doesn’t take long to see the black and rust painted car arrive next to me and I open the passenger door with the effort of someone twice my strength.
“Hey. Wait, I’m just going to check it out real quick see if I can fix it.” she says to me. Funny, she thinks she can actually fix that. “Alright, ill take you home and get a tow truck out here to get it to a shop. Its not too bad, should be running by tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, wondering how she had any idea how it wouldn’t take that long.
“Yep. Lets go, I’m already late for work.” she said hopping into the drivers seat as I do the same.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

After I dropped Devin off I went to work and got the tow truck to go get her car…well after my boss chewed my ass out for being late again. This time I had an excuse to give him so at least it wasn’t as bad as the times I wouldn’t tell him why. Its not like anyone would care that I couldn’t move or stand up for a while because I was in too much pain. My head is a jumble of thoughts and all I can do is thank god my mother wasn’t home this afternoon when I got home from school. Work usually goes by pretty quickly just because I am to busy to think about much but the whole time I am fixing her car I am thinking about Devin. Before I know it, its almost midnight and I have to get home and get some sleep before school tomorrow.
The drive home is uneventful but when I see the lights still in my rundown trailer I know I’m in for a treat. Yippee! Mom is still awake. The second I walk through the door she is screaming at me.
“Did you skip school today?!” my head is pounding immediately.
“I didn’t skip. At least not the whole day. I needed to get some sleep before work.”
“Do you think I really believe that? You were probably here fucking some girl you faggot! Or were you doing more drugs? I swear you are worthless!” usually my reflexes are pretty good but I’m tired and all I want to do is get some sleep so I am surprised when a fist hits me in the temple and another hits my jaw on the other side. I don’t go down but I do stumble back and feel the blood from my lip trickling down my chin. I look at her with venom in my eyes.
“Done? I would like to get some sleep tonight so I can actually stay at school tomorrow. Its not like you really care if I do anything with my life, you just enjoy beating the shit out of me.” I spit blood out at her feet and walk past her into my room. I think she is too surprised by me saying something to come after me again. Its going to be fun to explain the bruises tomorrow. She usually goes for places no one will see but I guess it was bound to happen. She cant be happy with one spot for wrong, she wants to see every inch of me covered in scars and bruises and she does a good job of it. Once my head hit’s the pillow I’m out like a light and thought doesn’t exist anymore…just the welcoming blackness that I’m always safe in. I can’t wait to see her tomorrow.