English Kashu

I guess you could say that she was a modern day starving artist, although she wasn’t really starving. She had so many dreams about what she wanted to do in life that she really never focused on one thing for to long. She had dreams of starting up her own band and making it big by singing Japanese music, by getting one of her books that she never finished published and by getting her art work known. No matter what form of art it was, she had her hand in it. She could play the piano by ear when I fell in love with songs and she had taught herself Japanese as well. Everyone around her said that was intelligent but after years of feeling like you are not good enough, it kinda sticks with you; but here she was after all her hard work, she had finally made it and now she was standing on his door step.

It had all started when she was 12. Looking back on it now, she knew she was still a child in age; but at that time, nothing but him seemed to matter to her. She had met him while playing an MMORPG. She didn’t think much of him at that time but life seemed to have a dark sense of humor. It was the summer after she had turned 13 that a bright light in her life died. Her grandmother had meant the world to her and her family. She was the glue that held everyone together but now that she was gone, Kimberly’s life changed for the worse. Gone were her smiles that reached her eyes and all she could feel was guilt and sadness. She had wanted the pain that she was feeling to end, but nothing stopped it. Finally she did the one thing that she never pictured herself trying. She was at home by herself one day after school when she decided to pick up a knife and run it across her wrist and arm.

She kept things a secret from her family and it only made the feelings inside of her worse. She didn’t know how she could talk to anyone but it seemed like now, she didn’t have a choice. After several attempts of harming herself, she finally reached out to a few people. She hadn’t expected anything back from him but the words he spoke to her, made her feel like everything was going to be okay again. Looking back on it now, I guess that’s where it all started.

Over the next several years, they kept in touch through the MMORPG and emails but the distance between them never stopped her feeling from forming. He had become her best friend and finally after admitting it to him one day in game, he became the love of her life. Life was wonderful in her opinion but she also couldn’t see what was about to happen. They had kept their love for each other a secret from everyone else but some how that secret was known. She couldn’t remember everything that happened now because it all happened after her 16th birthday. Her family had found out about it and forced her to stop speaking with him. They did everything they could to stop her. The pain in her chest once again called out to her to run a blade across her skin to end it all but because of a simple promise she had made to the love she had just lost, she would never do it again.

Every day that had passed by of them not being able to speak to each other was like a blade being shoved into her stomach. She couldn’t stand it; her heart cried out for him without anyone ever knowing it. Life seemed to continue on for her, throwing one thing or another in for the fun of it but even after years had passed without saying a word to each other, her heart still mourned over him and still loved him with renewed strength.

Years later, she had finally turned 18 years old. Her passion for writing had become strong and she was working on her first real book. She had been writing it for several years now and had wanted it to have it finished by her birthday but fate didn’t have the same idea. She ended up getting her own apartment, making enough money through different part time jobs to pay for her bills. She didn’t really have any set out plans and she liked it that way. She wasn’t going to college because college couldn’t get her where she wanted to be. She continued to work most of the day away at one job or another and then would go home to write or record in a studio near by.

Kimberly had always kept secrets from her family. It was just natural thing that happened. She had spent her last birthday with them, celebrating her 21st birthday, last night before she broke the news to her family. The day before, she had finally quite every last one of her jobs and was happy about the up coming days. She was going to Japan and she wasn’t planning on coming back. She had been saving up for the past several years for it and now she was doing it. She had broken the news to her parents that she was going to Japan to pursue a music career but they hadn’t taken her seriously. To them music was not a career, they thought that their only daughter should follow in her brothers’ steps and become a doctor or a lawyer.

When she went to the airport, she knew there was no turning back now. Her family hadn’t even come to see her off, not that she was surprised. They would never support her choice until after she proved that she could do it. She had enough money to survive on for at least 6 months before having to worry about money. She knew that this wasn’t going to be easy but she had to try. She was fluent enough in Japanese to find her way around but now she had to find band mates that didn’t think she was a lost cause. She was 100% American which in her eyes, meant you couldn’t make it in Japan as a singer but she couldn’t let that stop her. She had already been offered a recording contract in American but she had to sing “American” songs. That was one thing that she didn’t want to do. Her passion was for singing Japanese, nothing else was good enough. It wasn’t a shock to her that finding band mates was hard. No body wanted to try out once they found out she was American. It was just a coincidence how she met her drummer and bass player.




A/N: I made some minor edits to this chapter. I'm sorry if it all feels rushed out. I didn't really know any other way to start the story off. Next chapter for this will be up soon.