.Shrinking Humor

SW Theme bumper Stickers:

If they outlaw shrinking women, only outlaws will have women who are shrunk. Deal!
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Body by Nautilus, furniture by Mattel.
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A hamster cage is just an unfurnished apartment that locks from the outside.
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Yes, at my size it'll take me all day to strip search you. Lay down, I�d better get started.
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Frankly, I've had it down to here with your short jokes.
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Cloned SWs are people, two.
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It's hard to soar with eagles when they think you're bite sized.
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Voices in my head? Hell, there's hardly room for my own voice in here.
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Dammit, I'm at the top of the food chain, but I sleep in a used butter tub. Is that fair?
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Happiness is an SW on a date. Being this small makes all men seem... bigger.
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It's not easy being a pocket sized sex object, but someone has to do it.
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Barbie's a people, too. Okay, well, she's not. But I am. So don't confuse us.
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SSW (Small Print: single Shrunken Woman) seeks CEWATTNBL (Small Print: Christmas Elf with Access to the Naughty Boy List) who likes to make trades.
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A day without sunshine is like a day locked in the sock drawer.
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I'm not lazy, I HAVE to sleep in. Last time I jumped out of bed I broke both my legs.
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Will work for stilts.
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I'm not shrunk. I'm just immune to the 'turn everyone into a big goofy giant' space radiation.
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I'm the queen of all I survey. Be a dear and lift me up over the table, will you?
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I may not wear the pants in my family, but i did make a studio apartment out of them.
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Fight unwitting Sizism! It's not a little problem!
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Don't look down your nose at me, jackass... Oh, yeah. Never mind.
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Back off or i start singing "It's A Small World" outloud.
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Back off, buddy. My tiny butt only has room for one asshole.
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I lost my virginity and all but 1/1330th of my mass at MIT.
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Stocking? Last Christmas i hung my winter home by the fire with care.
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Don't laugh. I can split atoms with my Leatherman tool.
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Lost control of my other car yesterday. The accident tied up the foyer for half an hour.
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You survived an alien abduction? I was fetched by a Collie.
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Eleanor Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I take it no one ever stuffed Eleanor into a Mason jar and took her home.
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Any day i beat the vacuum cleaner across the carpet is a good one.
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I climbed all the way out of his pocket for this?
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Speak softly and carry a sharp toothpick.
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Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your birdcage lining.
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Did you hear about the SW who played poker at the veterinarian's house? She lost more money than she had and ended up feeding the kitty.
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Did you hear about the time-traveling SW that ran into a cheerful Roman vorophile? He was gladiator.
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I never spank my kids. Not since they figured out I fit in the microwave.
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I don't make waves. I TRY to, but surface tension defeats me.
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I'm motivated to make love, not war. Hell, at this size i'd settle for non-lethal cuddling.
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Why does everyone accuse me of being a Helium abuser?
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Got picked up in a singles bar last night. And by picked up, i mean in a gentle but firm grip.
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Back off, kid! I'm not the tooth fairy, I don't owe you a dollar!
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The way to a man's heart is through is stomach? So much for that reconnaissance.
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Puppies are a lot less cute if you're small enough to drown in slobber.
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I'm so small, the CDC has qualified me as contagious.
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I've been sober since the accident. Drunks make me feel like an extra in a Godzilla movie.
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I didn't do it. You can't prove it. Nobody saw me. The parakeets are lying!
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Will find lost earrings for food.
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Some days, it's just not worth crawling out of the Kleenex box.
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Take your dirty hands off me, you lousy miserable - Oh. Hello, Professor!
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In my case, unwrapping the fashion doll recapitulates phylogeny