.Rules for the Dollhouse
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Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
3
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2,183
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1
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
3
Views:
2,183
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Rules for the Dollhouse
Allyson Wonder, a well-known SW 'entertainer' is retiring, and feels that there are some things that need to be said about table dancing in a Shrunken Woman Theme Bar. She would like patrons of the Dollhouse to understand a few things about her art.
1) Don't pinch my thong between two fingers and tug me up in the air during a dance. Please, God, don't ask me if that felt good. It does NOT FEEL GOOD.
2) They shrank my body, not my mind. I can still count from 1 to 20-dollar-bill. That buck you're waving may be the size of a beach towel to me, but I still know it's less than the price of a soda.
3) I also know that it's a bag of parsley, not marijuana, and I wouldn't take it instead of cash anyway. I'm trying to put my kid through college, not rehab.
4) Yes, dancing on a tabletop for a giant gets me hot. And my name really is Allyson Wonder.
5) I will not crawl into your pocket for $10. Try propositioning me AND not insulting my worth, see how that works for you.
6) Do not make jokes about how tight my tiny pussy must be. You'll never be in a position to judge.
7) Yes, I will go home with you. Twenty thousand dollars. More if there's sex. MUCH more if you're ugly. So, basically, if you're trolling a Swtrip bar for a date, go ahead and count on it being much, much more.
8) It is not okay for you to bounce me on your cock like a baby on a knee. That is wrong on so many levels...
9) Yes, I believe you thought the song ended quickly. The day you can dance non-stop for the duration of a top-ten version, I'll start doing stripping to the hired-DJ Party versions.
10) Yes, my tits are real. As real as my affection for you.
11) The two-drink minimum is not my idea, so stop bitching to me. You didn't ask my opinion on that paint thinner you call cologne, and I'm withholding comment, see?
12) No more lapdances for guys wearing nylon shorts and no underwear. Don't make me draw you a picture.
13) There's a no-smoking policy for a reason, meathead. Try to do your work with a pile of burning leaves in the air vents.
14) There is a tip jar. For tips. Shove an axe-handle into your boxers before you try to slip something into my g-string again.
15) Yes, shrunken strippers are a miracle of technology. So is the software that identified you when you came through the door. Tip heavily or we'll send your wife a GIF of your time here.
16) I oil up before my dance so I look hot. The oil I use is the best I could find to stain the outline of my tits onto your collar. If I offer to rub against your non-tipping ass for free, think about why I might be motivated to do that.
17) No, my daddy loved me fine, my mother was a good role model. I'm doing this for the money, you analyst wanna-be. Tip me and shut up.
18) Yes, I'm sure the 'last girl' let you do that to her. Too bad we don't hire plastic Fashion Dolls here.
19) No, nothing is for free. I'm here for rent money, not to log extra hours on the pole before I strip in the Olympics.
20) No matter what I say, your short-joke is not new. I have heard them all before. I don't care if you're Robin fucking Williams, there's no new material there.
21) I will not tell you how tall I was before they shrank me. It's a SW bar, live the fantasy. Do you tell your girlfriend how big you were before you took Viagra?
22) Yes, I really get naked. No, you don't need to look 'that close' to see if I have a flesh-colored thong covering the merchandise. If you don't trust your stripper to strip, go beat off over pics in a magazine.
1) Don't pinch my thong between two fingers and tug me up in the air during a dance. Please, God, don't ask me if that felt good. It does NOT FEEL GOOD.
2) They shrank my body, not my mind. I can still count from 1 to 20-dollar-bill. That buck you're waving may be the size of a beach towel to me, but I still know it's less than the price of a soda.
3) I also know that it's a bag of parsley, not marijuana, and I wouldn't take it instead of cash anyway. I'm trying to put my kid through college, not rehab.
4) Yes, dancing on a tabletop for a giant gets me hot. And my name really is Allyson Wonder.
5) I will not crawl into your pocket for $10. Try propositioning me AND not insulting my worth, see how that works for you.
6) Do not make jokes about how tight my tiny pussy must be. You'll never be in a position to judge.
7) Yes, I will go home with you. Twenty thousand dollars. More if there's sex. MUCH more if you're ugly. So, basically, if you're trolling a Swtrip bar for a date, go ahead and count on it being much, much more.
8) It is not okay for you to bounce me on your cock like a baby on a knee. That is wrong on so many levels...
9) Yes, I believe you thought the song ended quickly. The day you can dance non-stop for the duration of a top-ten version, I'll start doing stripping to the hired-DJ Party versions.
10) Yes, my tits are real. As real as my affection for you.
11) The two-drink minimum is not my idea, so stop bitching to me. You didn't ask my opinion on that paint thinner you call cologne, and I'm withholding comment, see?
12) No more lapdances for guys wearing nylon shorts and no underwear. Don't make me draw you a picture.
13) There's a no-smoking policy for a reason, meathead. Try to do your work with a pile of burning leaves in the air vents.
14) There is a tip jar. For tips. Shove an axe-handle into your boxers before you try to slip something into my g-string again.
15) Yes, shrunken strippers are a miracle of technology. So is the software that identified you when you came through the door. Tip heavily or we'll send your wife a GIF of your time here.
16) I oil up before my dance so I look hot. The oil I use is the best I could find to stain the outline of my tits onto your collar. If I offer to rub against your non-tipping ass for free, think about why I might be motivated to do that.
17) No, my daddy loved me fine, my mother was a good role model. I'm doing this for the money, you analyst wanna-be. Tip me and shut up.
18) Yes, I'm sure the 'last girl' let you do that to her. Too bad we don't hire plastic Fashion Dolls here.
19) No, nothing is for free. I'm here for rent money, not to log extra hours on the pole before I strip in the Olympics.
20) No matter what I say, your short-joke is not new. I have heard them all before. I don't care if you're Robin fucking Williams, there's no new material there.
21) I will not tell you how tall I was before they shrank me. It's a SW bar, live the fantasy. Do you tell your girlfriend how big you were before you took Viagra?
22) Yes, I really get naked. No, you don't need to look 'that close' to see if I have a flesh-colored thong covering the merchandise. If you don't trust your stripper to strip, go beat off over pics in a magazine.