Scotch Tapped Heart

I sat here in the classroom, brooding. He had told me on the bus that there was something he needed to tell me. That something was racking my soul and deep down I knew what he was going to tell me, his eyes told me. That sadden and sympathetic gaze told me everything I need to know.
At lunch we sat side-by-side, we ate; we talk, all so normal. He didn’t tell me though, and he sat next to me as silent as always. I couldn’t hold a conversation and before I knew it, I was begging him to tell me. Later he said, later.
I wait.
I should have waited longer; maybe then he would have lost the nerve to do it. But that’s not him, it is never his way to spare my heart.
That bus ride was so long, too long.
“I like you”, he told me and my heart shouted with glee. I told him that I felt the same.
“And…” I asked him, trying to ring out the last bit that would complete this ever so perfect a moment. “And you…” I should have waited.
“And I can’t be with you.” My heart broke. Simple as that.
“Oh.” I didn’t cry, I wouldn’t let him see me broken.
Love is most cruel and I bet anyone who has had his or her heart broken would tell you that. Simple really how one person can do that, simple how one phase can break an entire person to tears. That or I’m a baby. Love is so cruel that it will make you fight for what you want and fight some more, to make you fight until your whole entire being has been caught up in the fray. I had fought and fought and it seem to me that I had done the entire fighting by myself; to left alone in the end.
True love is the most peculiar thing too and can be completely different from the regular love you hear about every other day. True love does not allow for ending to end with such sadness. True love will make you fight until you’ve felt as though all of the fighting was not worth it. You will bleed, your heart will break, your entire being will fade and in the end you’ll keep fighting.
That day on the bus, I stopped fighting, but in its stead, Tony’s heart still fought against his mind. That day on the bus, Tony had told me that we could not be; but his heart would not let it end like that.
The next day he seemed normal, he even had the gall to ask me why I was being so emo. EMO? I wanted to smack him and yell at him. Why am I so emo? You broke my heart after you had gotten me to worked up that I had actually thought that for once I was going to be happy. I said nothing and shrug. I wanted to stay being emo.
That’s how it went for the next month, I couldn’t escape him and nor did I want to. We rode the bus together in the morning, sat together at lunch, and rode the bus back home together. I loved him and couldn’t stay away. I was killing myself and he was helping me.
Soon Christmas was here and like always I wrote cards to everyone and presents for the closest of my friends. It was Christmas break that I went to his house when no one was home, Tony had asked me to go.
Now I must say, seeing a man mowing the lawn is the most sexiest thing I had ever seen. I’ve never really seen a guy mow a lawn. I decided from now on that I would make him mow just so I could watch. Sweat glistened on his brow; the muscles on his arms were taunt, his mouth in a frown. I was doomed. Oh help me, I loved him.
He looked at me, Tony’s brown eyes smiled when he saw that I had come. I glad too, even though it hurt me to know that I could never happened.
Nothing happened, we talked and he rested. Then his mom called, she was on her way.
“I should leave, I don’t want you to get in trouble.” Needless to say, his mom hated me, she knew before we did, what would happen.
“Alright”, he simply said. I left and he went back to work. Everything went back to normal, the normal I never wanted.


****right if you read, please review, I want to know what you think***
****And there will be smut and stuff later****