Jealousy

Jealousy

I think of you as my salvation
This disease my damnation
I hide myself behind a false illusion
My thoughts are hazy and clouded by confusion
It burns me from within and tears me from inside
It leaves me feeling like all hope in me has died
Feeling like I'm being enslaved
Wondering if I'm beyond being saved
My inner battle is a constant fight
Warmth and light at war with night
Thinking I'm losing control
All this pain is starting to take it's toll
I feel my hands starting to shake
The pressure is building and it's more then I can take
Trying to block out my insecurities and fears
Sitting here fighting to choke back tears
Put on a smile and say that everything is great
While this disease eats away at me and I'm overcome by hate
I try to pretend like nothing is wrong
I put it all aside and try to be strong
I only show I'm truly weak
When my actions contradict the words I speak
I'd do anything to kill this disease
To have some sort of peace to put my mind at ease
All these feelings run too deep
I feel like I'm dreaming but am I asleep
I'm trapped in my thoughts with misery taking shape
Now I drown in loneliness and there's no escape