The Concept of Living

The Concept of Living
By TragicSerenity





It isn’t simple living a kind of strange, complicated, and beautiful life. Though sometimes you just end up getting used to it no matter what. The problem is when? Some people might just say that life is a bitch some might say life is different then we want it to be, and I’m the one who thinks of it both ways. I’m tall but not too tall, I’m skinny but not anorexic or fat either, I have black long hair with bangs, and brown eyes. I’m just your typical sixteen year old school girl who has a dramatic life style. Well at least that’s one way of putting it right?




My day started like any other day except it didn’t feel the same in some odd way I felt different secure and a great sense of peace. I woke up at exactly six-twenty AM I never wake up the time I want to which is six-ten AM, but eh I don’t seem to care that much anymore. I went to the restroom and brushed my teeth. After that I went and put on my school uniform, straightened my hair a bit, and did my make up. I didn’t eat I didn’t have time, so I put on my shoes and began to walk to school. Walking to school didn’t take much it only took like fifteen minutes sometimes thirty. But when those days took thirty…those were the days when I didn’t feel like putting much effort in going to school. Not many cars were passing by today usually I see ten or twenty passing by, but today was different only three passed by.




I was only a couple feet away from school when the wind picked up. I felt the breeze gently stroke my cheeks and I felt my hair being picked up gently. I sighed this day just seemed too peaceful for my taste. I saw my best friend waiting by the gate with a group of her friends I smiled I didn’t know why, but so did she and continued to talk to her friends. I didn’t mind I didn’t feel like talking I wasn’t shy that’s for sure. I guess you could say I don’t have much to say after what I just experienced. I looked at my watch we had forty minutes until school really began I felt relieved. Our school is the school where teachers actually teach you something and don’t just let you do whatever you want. This means all that classes are always quiet unless the teacher is in a good mood and that never happens. At least not very often, but the funny part is that they don’t care about attendance.




“Hey Midori, you actually came early today.” Michi said to me. “I know I’m shocked myself, so I don’t blame you for stating that.” I said to her and laughed she laughed too. “You seem different today. Like yourself…you know.” Michi said in a low voice like if she was afraid I would have gotten mad at her for saying that. “So that’s it…that’s what made me feel different when I woke up this morning.” I said and smiled. She was relieved and smiled. There was a moment of awkward silence.“How are you Michi?” I asked her while I looked up at the sky. “Me?” She asked shocked. “Yeah, you who else is standing by me and is named Michi.” I said and laughed. “I’m good actually thanks.” Michi said quickly. I looked at her to make sure what she said wasn’t another little lie, little cover up. She was telling the truth. “That’s good.” I said softly. “How about you Midori how are you and all…since the accident.” Michi said quietly.




The accident I thought…the accident where my mother’s life was taken away quicker then the blink of an eye. “I’m better…I’m good…” I said silently and smiled. I really was though believe it or not. Sure I lost my mom, and now I’m practically all alone at my house five days a week. That didn’t disturb me much anymore I got used to it even though it’s just been two weeks. Yes I won’t lie the wounds still are rather quiet carved deep into my very soul.




I loved my mother she was the only thing I had in my life. I never really had a father. He was a jerk, he didn’t understand me, he didn’t treat me like his daughter, and the only thing he was useful for me was to drive me wherever I wanted to go. I know that sounds mean, but it’s the truth. “Midori…” Michi said. Oh great here we go again she probably thinks I’m lying I thought. “That’s good to hear Midori I was starting to get worried.” She said to me. I sighed of relief but I also was shocked that she actually didn’t argue with me.




The bell rang and it was time to go to class. Michi and I only had one class together out of seven. Which was rather quiet depressing, but oh well I know other people. I hugged Michi and went to my English class. Everyone at school knew about my mom dying I mean everyone. People I didn’t know teachers I didn’t know even parents. That was the annoying part, the difficult part. Just having everyone feel pity on you for a difficult situation you’re going through that just angers and disgusts me. I sat down at my assigned seat and as usual the teacher would come up to me and ask me am I alright and as for the first time I actually didn’t sigh and not answer. “I’m managing…” I said. The teacher seemed relieved, and I didn’t know why either. He didn’t care about me, I wasn’t his teacher’s pet, so why the hell does he even give a shit. The class was dull and Nami my ex best friend mouthed to me if I was okay and I just said sure. It gets annoying you know everyone asking if you were okay. Like shut up already.




The class finally ended I was happy, because this means I have five more classes until the day is over and three more classes left until lunch. Art class went by fast I adore that class no matter what. I drew a girl walking on the streets while it was snowing. Study of Life was depressing I mean study of life come on like that’s a thing I want to be reminded of life…and death. Then math came and that’s when my sadness got the worst of me, but then like always he would cheer me up well all three of them.




Akeno, Jiro, and Roka. Akeno he was tall, had straight long light brown hair, light brown eyes, and he was athletic. His personality is interesting he’s funny, nice, shy, but when you get to know him he’s pretty outgoing. Jino ah Jino what is there to say about him he’s tall, has that emo haircut, dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, practically dated everyone at school except for me. His personality is weird he’s quiet, funny, stubborn, and bad tempered. Then there’s Roka he’s kind of tall, has a normal haircut but it doesn’t look bad on him, his hair color is black though, and his eyes are grey. His personality is pretty much a goof ball seriously. He’s the class clown. They’re the pretty boys pretty much, and sadly I like one of them and that would have to be Akeno. I’m close to these pretty boys all three of them are like my best friends. That makes girls mad but I don’t care. The bell ran and it was lunch I was so happy just because the day was finally almost over.




I think Akeno noticed the most though and it made him smile. He waited for me by the door so we could walk together. “How are you Midori?” He asked worriedly. “I’m alright I suppose and you?” I said. “You know I don’t care about how I am. I’m more worried about you then I am for myself.” He said while looking at me in the eyes. “You have a point their Akeno, but I promise you that I’m alright. I was way better this morning then I am right now. I will be honest about that. But fourth period always seems to smack me in the face and bring me down.” I said silently. He stopped and hugged me. Sometimes he just had a way of making me feel better no matter what the situation was. I loved that.




Though it wasn’t out of my mind and thoughts that everyone is probably going to start gossiping about this scene. Like they always do. He let go and I could tell he was embarrassed and I just smiled which let him know it’s alright. “You know what sucks?” I said and looked at him. “What?” He said quickly. “Being alone at the home for five days a week. It just doesn’t feel like home anymore it’s so quiet. Just starts making you think about stuff you shouldn’t you know?” I said while looking at the ground. He lifted my chin so I could face him. “You shouldn’t be alone at home…you shouldn’t be going through all of this. And most of all you shouldn’t suffer alone Midori. I’m here for you. You should know that.” He said to me looking at my eyes. I smiled and held back my tears. Yeah he was understanding, sweet, and kind. The part that sucked though was that he can make you feel special for a moment but then along comes another girl and you can hurt by it.




“I should leave…” I said and started to quickly walk away. I’m vulnerable right now, I’m weak, and I don’t need to go from liking someone to falling in love with them. They’ll take advantage of the whole situation I for one know for a fact. I learned from other people’s mistakes. I didn’t feel like going to my classes I felt like going home.




“Damn she ran away again…why though? Damn!” He said to himself while walking the opposite direction in which she ran. He was mad at himself, he was confused. Does she even like me? I don’t want her to think I’m taking advantage of her he thought. The thing is I liked her since I first started talking to her. I never expected her to be so full of life, entertainment, and excitement. I mean when I didn’t talk to her she was always so sad. She seemed insecure and lost. The funny part was when I saw her with her friends she’d be so different, and look at me now I’m her best guy friend. I don’t know if I should give her signs that I like her, because I really do. Though moments like this when she just walks away makes me frustrated. That’s why I pretend to flirt with other girls so incase she doesn’t like me I don’t make things awkward on both of us.




Maybe I shouldn’t have just walked away from Akeno like that. I think I should walk back and apologize to him. I started walking back and I wasn’t sure if he was still going to be there. I looked up and I found him…I found him flirting with another girl and laughing like always. I sighed and turned around and starting walking away. Yeah I’m going home I thought sadly. I walked out of school with my back pack and headed home. Akeno looked up to see Midori walking home with her stuff she looked hurt. No one would mind if I leave home early. As long as you just go to one class no one cares. I know weird but that’s just how things work around here.




I didn’t feel like going home just yet so I walked around the city. It was strange though no car was passing by, and it was quiet something I’m not quite used to. It was scary walking the streets alone. No one was else was walking, but they were in stores. I sighed. There wasn’t anything entertaining to do. So I headed back home slowly. The clouds were black. I prayed for it not to rain I loved the rain and all, but I didn’t want to get sick. To my luck five minutes later is began to rain, and lighting was crashing down. I felt like screaming, but instead I decided to walk faster back home. I was in front of the house I was happy.




I opened the gate with caution since I have two dogs, and I didn’t want them to run away. As soon as I closed the gate I was greeted by my two dogs. I smiled. “You two got out again, shame on you.” I said and laughed. They jumped on me almost pushing me to the ground, but I managed to get my balance back. “Come on you guys have to go back to the backyard. I locked them up and went inside. I was soaking wet, and not only that had dog hairs all over my wet clothes which was gross. I quickly went to the restroom, and I turned on the water to take a shower. While I let the water heat up I took off my clothes and placed them behind the door. I didn’t bother the close I was alone any ways. I jumped in the shower and I began wetting my hair I frowned and then softly smiled.




Flash Back: First Time I Met You






It’s raining and I was leaning by the wall of a classroom outside. Practically everyone left school already and I just didn’t want to go home. It’s just so difficult right now. Dad was probably home yelling at mom and mom yelling at him. “UGH!” I yelled and banged my head against the wall. It hurt but what else to do? I looked at the sky it was dark, probably as dark as my life seems right now. I was frustrated and pissed off. I couldn’t tell if I was crying or not since the rain kept on landing on my face. It was thick and hard so when it went in my eye it caused my eye to sting. I threw a rock across the fence and heard it hit the pavement.




“I wish someone could just cheer me up right now…” I said and looked down at the pavement. “I’m not that great at cheering up people, but in your case I promise you I will.” He said as he sat down by me. I looked up and saw the most gorgeous guy even I tried my hardest not to blush. “My name is Akeno. What’s yours?” He asked me and smiled. “Um mine is Midori…” I said shyly. “That’s a pretty name.” He said and looked at the sky with me. I looked down “Thank you.” I said silently. “Hey, want to make a bet?” He said and smiled. “Um…okay.” I said “Okay I won’t tell you the bet I’ll just tell you what I win if you loose. If I win I get to walk you home.” He said with a grin. “And if I win? I get to walk home with your jacket that way I won’t have to get wet.” I said softly and shyly. “Okay the bet is if you smile I win and you loose.” Akeno said with a grin. “Well that’s easy.” I said trying hard not to grin since that would probably count as a smile.




For three minutes I didn’t smile. “I wonder why a pretty girl like you doesn’t smile. I bet you look beautiful when you smile. Akeno said smiling. That did it and I smiled. “I was right you do look beautiful when you smile.” Akeno said while getting up. “Cheater you just said that to win.” I said smiling. “No I was being completely honest.” He said shyly he extended his hand I took it and he helped me up. “Thanks.” I said to him. “No problem. Now I get to walk you home.” He said while he walked by out of the school campus. The rain continued to poor and we were both silent.




“Thank you…for cheering me up Akeno.” I said looking at him. “It was my pleasure” He said. He took off his jacket and gave it to me. “Here you should wear it I wouldn’t want you to get sick.” He said. I put it on and smiled “Thanks.” I said. We were five minutes away from home. We walked and walked and finally ended up to my house. We both stopped in front of the gate. I hugged him “Thanks bunches.” I said. He looked kind of shocked that I hugged him, but he hugged me back. I bet he blushed.





End of Flash Back: First Time I Met You





From that day on he always found a way to make me smile or laugh. He knew the right things to say and do. We became best friends and always questioned how come we never met sooner. Even though we never found the answer we were glad we did end up getting to know each other. Akeno he’s just so different then other guys, but at some points he can be the same like them too.




I continued to wash my hair with shampoo then I rinsed up and got out of the shower. I put on my pjs and went to my room. I laid there thinking about all the good things that happened which weren’t many to let you know. But they were worth thinking. I sighed and laughed I bet I look pathetic. I wasn’t hungry and it was already six pm the moon had already risen and the rain had stopped. Again I felt lonely and vacant. Must it always be again I questioned.




The doorbell rang I was shocked no one usually comes and visits. I went to the door and opened it to my surprise….




“Hello Midori, I hope I wasn’t intruding something.” He said. “No, not at all. What are you doing here?” I asked. “Just came to stop by and visit obviously. Don’t think I forgot when you told me it gets lonely here.” He said and smiled. “Thanks come in.” I said. He came inside…”Oh before I forget I got something for you.” He said with a grin. “It better not be a condom Akeno cause I will tell you to leave.” I said and laughed. He handed me roses red roses.




I gasped “They’re beautiful!” “I knew you would say that.” Akeno said. “Thank you so much!” I said and hugged him. “Anything to make a pretty girl like you smile.” He said hugging me back. I let go of him and ran off to put them in a vase. Then I came back. “Midori…I have something to tell you…” Akeno said in a serious tone. “What is it Akeno?” I asked him. “I think…I think…” He said sadly.




Author’s Note: Cliffy cliffy cliffy! Haha. Rate and Review :) and READ AND RECOMEND!

♥TragicSerenity