Trigger

It’s so cold here.
I can’t stop shaking, but I know its only nerves.

And I’m asking myself:
Is this how it feels right before you end your life?

Your heart beats out of your chest
Breath cant quite catch up to you
A hand shaking like 1000 volts of electricity is coursing through my body
Skin as cold as death, clammy like the underside of a moderately fresh corpse

My eyes won’t hold still, darting back and forth
Like a junkie on crack

Can’t get the thoughts out of my head

Your words…always your words
Written on the page, cut into my mind

I must be the greatest joke of all to you

Loyal, trusting, loving you even if you break me down…just like a Dog.

You told me once that the only way out of our relationship was in a body bag

I guess its you’re lucky day

Because I have one foot in the grave
And I want something I can never have.

I just wanted you to love me
To love us enough to be an honest man

Is it so much to ask?